f Page 3232 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Ravens Fan Pays For Treason With Mild Electrocution
If you're going to bet against your team, do the world a favor and make sure the wager provides for some excellent physical humor. Like an electric dog fence, for example....

Rick Majerus: Serial Child Squasher
Last week, we ran a post that exposed SLU head basketball coach Rick Majerus as someone who enjoys shitting on towels and sitting on campers. Here are MORE stories of Majerus', uh, largesse....

Hicks Jr. Out At Anfield
Tom Hicks Jr. resigned as Liverpool director after those embarrassing emails came to light. Just goes to show the only acceptable time to use "fuck face" is on Billy Ripken's baseball card. [Guardian]...

Let's All Remember Shea Stadium, With Drunken Fatty Lawsuits
A woman is suing the Mets after an intoxicated 300-pound fan comically tumbled down several rows of seats, and not-so-comically landed on her and broke her back....

Russian Hockey League Is Gonna Need A Bigger Penalty Box
A KHL game was canceled after 3:49 of the first period when a brawl resulted in 691 penalty minutes and not enough players left to finish the game. Also: a Jaromir Jagr sighting! [RussianHockeyFans/Fanhouse]...

Defense Wins The Weekend
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like NFL defensive units who shut down their opponents and made all the difference in first-round playoff wins. When they bothered to show up....

"Blow Me F**k Face" — Great Moments In Fan Relations
Tom Hicks Jr., the Texas and Liverpool exec, might be rethinking his decision to make his contact info public after a foulmouthed response to one concerned fan. We've got the emails....

He Thought He Was Whaling
Japan's Manabu Kurita caught a world-record tying largemouth bass, clocking in at 22 pounds, 4 ounces - but only after months of investigation and polygraph tests. Don't fuck with fish people. [Fishing World]...

NFC Wild Card Open Thread: Packers-Cardinals
Kurt Warner could hang it up after this one. Meanwhile, we're getting unsubstantiated chain letters about Aaron Rodgers giving 100 disadvantaged kids Christmas presents. Which beloved quarterback shall rule them all? Discuss it here....

Sanchize To Carroll: Stay In School
A year after the then-USC coach called him out for leaving for the NFL, Mark Sanchez gave Pete Carroll a taste of his own medicine....

Hawk About To Get Paid Hawking Autographs
Having a plaque in Cooperstown is nice. The unstated-but-significant financial windfall that comes with being a hall-of-famer could be nicer....

AFC Wild Card Open Thread: Ravens-Patriots
Ravens fans are all getting inked up. Patriots fans are feeling kinda "meh." Team that plays in the suburbs vs. team whose fans live in the suburbs - who ya got? Talk amongst yourselves in the comments....

Alabama Celebrates As Only Alabama Can (Updates)
With the Coaches' Trophy on display at Tuscaloosa Walmarts, we're awash in photos of Alabama goobers posing with a crystal egg in front of Dr Pepper pyramids. Send us any more you can find, and we'll add to our gallery....

Pakistani Sex Scandals Are Somewhat Tamer
A Pakistani national field hockey superstar was fined 100,000 rupees (about $1200) after being photographed hugging a tournament official. That sounds excessive and draconian, but we all know hugging is a gateway drug to holding hands. [Dawn]...

Marshawn Lynch Is All About The Jacksons
We thought quiet little Buffalo would be good for the troubled Lynch. We thought wrong, as the RB couldn't avoid the criminal breeding grounds of the T.G.I. Friday's at the mall, where he's accused of stealing $20 from a woman....

NFC Wild Card Open Thread: Eagles-Cowboys
"We had Mike McMahon. We had Rodney Peete and Ty Detmer and who was the kid from Ohio? Bobby Hoying!...For 10 years, we've had no quarterback problems — none. Where are people's memories?" So sayeth Pennsylvania Gov. Ed Rendell. Discuss....

AFC Wild Card Open Thread: Jets-Bengals
The Bengals are angry about something or other. The Jets are angry about something or other, too, despite being heavily favored to win the Super Bowl, according to the Rex Ryan Sports Book and Bingo Parlor. Discuss in the comments....

Tommy Tuberville Gets The Keys To The Texas Tech Shed
Tuberville, late of Auburn, is Mike Leach's replacement at Texas Tech, according to Ivan Maisel's sewing circle. A press conference is scheduled for tomorrow. [ESPN]...

Togo Withdraws From Tournament After Machine-Gun Attack; 4 Dead, Reportedly
Togo has pulled out of the Africa Cup of Nations, with perhaps other teams to follow, in the aftermath of Friday's attack by Angolan separatists. A backup goalkeeper, two staff members, and the driver all were killed, the Guardian reports....

Wizards Now Pretending Gilbert Arenas Never Existed
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....