f Page 3233 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Seahawks Shack Up With Pete Carroll As If He Were A Grad Student Living In Malibu
Pete Carroll has come to terms with Seattle, according to the stuffed animals at Adam Schefter's tea party. He'll be introduced just as soon as the Seahawks find a minority in whom to feign interest. [ESPN]...

Pats Owner Just Wants To Watch The World Burn
Tough week for Robert Kraft. First his truckload of illegal immigrants gets pulled over on its way to shovel the stadium. Now his driver gets ticketed for refusing to move Kraft's ride when a fire truck needed to get through....

Seahawks About To Land Pete Carroll?
"Pete Carroll is the guy Seahawks are targeting. It is expected to happen," according to Chris Mortensen's imaginary friends. [@mortreport, LAT]...

The One Where The LA Angels Catcher's Mom Accidentally Shows Her Nipple On New Year's Eve
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another. (NSFW)...

Introducing Great Moments In Drunken Hookup Failure
I once had a friend named Mark (not his real name) who was trying to have sex with a girl while he was blind drunk. He did not end up succeeding. Here is the short story of why....

BREAKING: Jim Mora Fired
Jay Glazer just tweeted the news a couple minutes ago. And Glazer is blissfully never wrong. I've always thought Jim Mora 2 looks like an Eskimo. That's probably a wrong assumption....

Chin Blossoms: Buffalonians Begin The Cowher Chase In Earnest
Raiders, Bengals and Bears fans have all purchased billboards calling for their teams to clean house in the front office. But those are angry, angry cities. The salt-of-the-earth folk in Upstate New York prefer more constructive advice on their roadsides....

Your State Of The Buzzsaw Address
For the second consecutive year, I'm heading to the Pink Taco in Glendale for playoff game hosted by The Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals. I'm not sure enough people appreciate how strange that is....

Craig James Has Picked An Excellent Time To Get Into Politics
James, the ESPN analyst who has not yet pissed off the entire state of Texas, is apparently eyeing Kay Bailey Hutchison's seat in the Senate. Don't laugh. The man has plenty of experience appealing to the largess of wealthy donors....

USF Figuratively Punches Jim Leavitt In The Face
FanHouse reports that South Florida has fired slappy Jim Leavitt, the coach who allegedly grabbed a walk-on by the throat and hit him twice in the face. Somehow, this will be blamed on Adam James, too. [FanHouse]...

Last Night's Winner: Joyless Robot Prigs
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Nick Saban, recipient of history's unhappiest Gatorade bath, a coach who won a national championship but would probably fail a Turing test....

Presenting The Absolute Worst Hall Of Fame Voter (Update)
In all the foofaraw over the HOF elections, one voter stands above the rest in terms of sheer ineptitude and self-promotion. Let's ridicule them! But first, the runners up:...

We Wanted A Game; We Got A Circus
Trick plays, failed trick plays, and a freshman QB thrust into the spotlight. Let's take a look at the storylines and screengrabs of the night....

The Rich Gannon Hissy Fit Gets Hissier
Gannon The Cannon offers the Raiders his help. Team responds by opining that he's the one who needs help. Now, now, children. You're both right. (Ed note: We will always use this photo for Gannon posts.) [Oakland Tribune]...

Robbie Alomar Can Only Think Of One Reason He's Not In The Hall Yet
"His first phone call was to umpire John Hirschbeck, to reassure him there was no hard feelings over the spitting incident and he in no way felt Hirschbeck was responsible." Yeah, no shit the spittee's not responsible. [Stalking Steve Phillips]...

Patriots Workers Stopped In Immigration Sting
Gillette Stadium hired dozens of workers to shovel snow from the field, and apparently had them sent in from Guatemala, by way of Rhode Island....

The 2009 Oakland Raiders: A Season Of Failure
The Oakland Raiders were once a proud, victorious franchise, but despite zero ownership changes in over 30 years they become an organization synonymous with "ineptitude." The 2009 campaign didn't reverse this spectacular descent....

Mike Leach Saga Slowly Morphing Into An Outtake From <em>Rio Bravo</em>
Chris Level of RedRaiderSports.com reports that Mike Leach is filing a motion in his lawsuit against Texas Tech, and "the crowd at the courthouse is growing by the minute." [@ChrisLevel]...

Today In TMZish Sports: Gay-Baiting Tiger, Laser-Tagging John Fox, And A Spottswood For A-Rod
These are some of the things that are happening in the nether regions of the sports gossip world. This news is not breaking. It is not exclusive. There are no exclamation points. We did not pay for these photos....

Tony La Russa Is Screwing With Baseball Writers' Heads
Self-important blowhard manager loosely speculating about pinch-hitting Mark McGwire this season vs. self-important blowhard media collective accusing him of dicking around with Mark McGwire's Hall of Fame clock: Who ya got? [NYDN]...