f Page 3234 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Children Will Crush Your Playoff Dreams. The Wild Card Jamboroo
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

"I Really Have Nothing To Say": 13 Years Of Sad Bert Blyleven Reactions
Every year, poor Bert Blyleven falls short of Cooperstown, and every year, he's asked how it feels. Looking back on 13 years of his glum responses is almost heartbreaking, like watching a frown in slow motion....

Star Spitting Is Worst Thing To Happen In Dallas Since Kennedy Assassination
An Eagles fan/employee "defiled" Cowboys Stadium with a vicious (and viscous) attack on the city of Dallas, football fans, and basic human decency. He spit on the star at midfield. Twice. Hey, that artificial turf is expensive to steam clean!...

Last Night's Winner: The Kansas City Patriots
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Patriots fans who love everything about New England's recent dynasty, except Bill Belichick and Tom Brady. Pack your bags, you're moving to K.C.!...

Fight's Off, At Least Until It's On Again
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

In Other Ex-NFLer Car-Related Legal Trouble...
After his dealership defaulted, Deuce McAllister is countersuing, claiming Nissan's finance division should have known he "was a football player who was inexperienced in the car business." Deuce, I'm pretty sure that's why they sold you the dealership. [AP]...

The Pansiest Auto Theft Charge Ever
Terry Glenn rented an SUV from National Car Rental. Terry Glenn did not return said SUV. That's grounds for arrest, and not likely to earn much street cred....

Charlie Weis Beaches Himself In Kansas City
Weis will be the Chiefs' offensive coordinator, according to Chris Mortensen's imaginary friends. [ESPN]...

Mike Ditka Was Not A Fan Of Post-Game Interviews Or Pants
Behind the scenes post-game video, circa 1988, shows a young, spry Coach Ditka bickering with the host and generally being, well....Mike Ditka. Fascinating artifact. (Bad language, but thankfully no Mini Ditka revealed.) [Kap's Korner, via]...

BBWAA Spits In Alomar's Face, Elects Andre Dawson
The Hawk and his sweet-ass theme song are in the Hall of Fame. Greatest second baseman of the last 30 years? Never heard of him. [MSF/MLB]...

Charles Rogers Just Can't Quit Drinking Himself To Sleep
Former Detroit/MSU receiver Charles Rogers was arrested again, this time for falling asleep in a Mexican restaurant at 3:15 p.m. on Tuesday. Maybe he has narcolepsy. (Caused by too much alcohol.)...

Alabama Fans Threaten Weatherman, God Over Snowstorm
Tomorrow night's forecast for Birmingham, Alabama, calls for freezing temperatures and snow, possibly mixed with rain. It's a Southern TV meteorologist's wet dream. Which is why everyone is preemptively pissed at them for interrupting the BCS Championship with storm updates....

Wilt Chamberlain's Legendary Bedroom Body Count Bested By Fidel Castro
Yes. Fidel Castro has, according to whatever silly math a Cuban official named "Ramon" used, bedded approximately 35,000 women making Wilt look downright provincial. [The Daily Beast]...

Tough Days For Those Riding The Tiger
Lost in all this hoopla about poor little rich Elin are the real victims of Woods's indiscretion: celebrity impersonators and video game makers....

A Fitting End To The Raiders' Season
JaMarcus Russell reportedly blew off the year's final team meeting to hang out at the Palms in Vegas. I hear they have an excellent breakfast buffet there. [Oakland Tribune]...

"I Like To Fight In The Nude" - Behind Kobe Bryant Deathmatch Fiction
What if Kobe and LeBron fought to the death? We go inside the mind of the man who's played out that scenario in gory, hilarious detail....

Austin Takes The Lead In Menstrual BCS Trash Talk
We're still two days away from the fake National Championship Game, but it's not to early for fans of Texas/Alabama to start hurling gross insults at each other. Unfortunately, Alabama's nickname makes it a little too easy for some....

The 2009 Cleveland Browns: A Season Of Failure
The Cleveland Browns are not the worst team in the NFL. Yet, front office chaos, locker room drama, and a lot of lousy football have made them exemplars of what it means to be a terrible sports franchise....

You Can Barely Contain The Deadspin Mailbag
Time for your Deadspin Open Mailbag Tuesday. Email us here or submit your questions via Twitter. This week, we're covering pants, nail clippings, drinking alone, and bank robbing....

Today In TMZish Sports: Matt Kemp Gets Handsy And A Dwarf Cock-Blocks A Boxer (UPDATE)
These are some of the things that are happening in the nether regions of the sports gossip world. This news is not breaking. It is not exclusive. There are no exclamation points. We did not pay for these photos....