f Page 3244 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Late Game Open Thread: A Whole Lot Of Yuck
Team That Makes Old Ladies Sad v. Team Run By A Sad Old Lady; Rejuvenated Vince Young v. Reanimated Kyle Boller; Holding Romos v. Litigious Merrimans, etc. #nflforums [NFL.com]...

Early Game Open Thread: Count The Santa Hats In The Stands
Purple Jesus v. Ocho Jesus; Team Josh v. 16-0, Kellen Clemens v. Raheem Morris' head set; Cutler v. Cold, Who Deys v. The Ryan-Turnerlesses; The Photoshopped Ghosts of Dick Jauron v. The Photoshopped Ghosts of Larry Johnson, etc.#nflforum [NFL.com]...

James Harrison's Mom Won't Have Any Of That Stuff
Silverback's momma got into some sort of tussle at a football-viewing party on Thursday night in Akron, Ohio. She and two others were charged with assault for all sorts of punching, kicking, and bottle-throwing as the Steelers' season unraveled. [PFT]...

In Memoriam: A Great Sports Intro
Forget "Roundball Rock." Click inside and hear the greatest network sports theme song of all time....

Amazingly, Tiger Heeding Rick Reilly's® Advice And Taking An Indefinite Break From Golf
For real? Woods has decided that his philandering has done enough damage to warrant this type of dramatic action. Read what the robot on Tiger Woods.com tells all the people:...

I Saw Mommy Kissing Nightmare Ant
Sure, it's a little early—unless you're Jewish—but everyone's favorite NBADL mascot would like to wish you a happy and healthy Non-Denominational Holiday Time ... with visions of unspeakable horror dancing in your heads....

Ndamukong Suh Gives People A Reason To Care About The Heisman
Nebraska's defensive tackle is the new sentimental favorite to win the Heisman Trophy, a famous award given annually by the media to whichever name they've written over and over again in their Hello Kitty diary....

All College Football Games To Be Settled By White Rapper Battles (Update!)
Not to be outdone by the only two guys in Iowa who listen to rap music, Georgia Tech fans would like to remind you about their opponents in the Orange Bowl of Awkward "Hip Hop" Videos, The GTGs. Lose yourself.......

2009 SHOTY Nominee: Tiger Woods
A fortnight ago, no one would have ever expected Tiger Woods — Tiger freaking Woods! — to ever be a SHOTY nominee. Now, the poor guy might win....

Roller Derby Twins Make Good
That's odd. ESPN's Page 2 has a story from a blonde girl who lives with her twin sister in New York City and tried out for the local roller derby ... heyyyyyyy, wait a second.......

Bearcats Bid Un-Emotional Goodbye to Brian Kelly
Brian Kelly said farewell to his Cincinnati charges last night and many responded by kindly asking their ex-coach to mind both the door and the area where the Good Lord split him as he makes his way through it....

Last Night's Winner: Pirates Fans
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Pittsburgh's baseball fans, who don't have to be alone anymore. Cheering for championships are overrated anyway!...

Madness Is...A 49ers Taquería Mural
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Just Because He Tapes His Penis To His Thigh Is No Reason To Judge
"After David Akers nails 55 YD FG in practice, Jon Dorenbos exhalts in celebration, screaming, 'Einhorn's a man!'" [Via]...

I Guess We've Solved All The Real Free Speech Issues
A Central Pennsylvania town is tackling the pernicious threat of Steelers fans. Now the ACLU's getting involved. This is going to be uglier than tonight's game....

Notre Dame Gets Its Angry, Egotistical Man
The South Bend Tribune is reporting that after an earlier feint toward UConn, Notre Dame has made its decision and Cincinnati's Brian Kelly will take the reigns in South Bend. But is he a big enough jerk?...

Excavating Bill Simmons: NY Mag Writers Take On That Big Ol' Book Of Basketball
Jonathan Lethem; Sam Anderson; Sherman Alexie; Bethlehem Shoals. Oh, and Tommy Craggs, who takes off his angry pants for a little bit but manages to somehow squeeze in a reference to Astral Weeks. [NYmag]...

The Five Stages Of Football Grief. Jamboroo, Week 14
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

<em>Life & Style</em> Goes Fishing For Tiger Tales
A Life & Style reporter is searching for information about Joslyn James. If anyone can help her, please contact her immediately. I won't be able to help, unfortunately. Her email, after the jump....
