f Page 3255 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The TD Stands for Touchdown
The ex-CEO of TD Ameritrade wants to be a D1 football coach. I don't think any SEC coaches are willing to switch jobs with him, as being a Fortune 500 CEO would mean a pay cut for them. [Omaha World-Herald]...
Your Early Games Open Thread
Here it is, empirical proof that FOX thinks your desire to watch Brett Favre be Brett Favre trumps your desire to avoid Lions games at all cost. Also, enjoy that all-Florida crapfest, West Virginia. [The506]...
To Be Fair, I'd Like To See How Your Team Does Without A Quarterback
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
This Guy Is Trying To Steal John Daly's Bit
And no, I'm not referring to Udorn Duangdecha getting his stomach stapled and surviving solely on Diet Coke and cigarettes - check out those slacks. Crap, they're so loud that Marlee Matlin heard him trying them on. [Devil Ball Golf]...
Your Late Afternoon College Football Viewing Open Thread
It's time for the second round of games on this wonderful Saturday afternoon. There's plenty of options on the telly, with Florida at South Carolina as perhaps the most intriguing. Can you imagine how excited these girls are right now?...
I Bet The Graphics Guy Who Cropped Indiana's Logo This Way Feels Like A Boob
Heh. Tit. And for those of you worried about this warping our young people, it has already been changed to a less-offensive image. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to make "BOOBLESS" appear on my calculator. (Thanks, reader Josh)...
CFL Player Gets Stabbed After Attending KISS Concert (Updated)
Calgary Stampeders tight end Teyo Johnson got stabbed at a party Thursday night after he went to a KISS concert. Apparently, it has been learned that it was a DJ Tiesto concert - not KISS. Same difference, right? [TSN]...
Chad Ochocinco Fined Veinte Mil Dólares By Liga Nacional de Fútbol Americano
¡Ay, caramba! Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver/prop comic Chad Ochocinco has been fined $20,000 by the NFL for jokingly attempting to bribe an official with a dollar bill during last Sunday's game against the Baltimore Ravens....
Rick Nash Is A Fancy Boy
I haven't seen a hockey player make a move this fabulous since D.B. Sweeney's one-footed salchow in The Cutting Edge....
Hockey Player's Attempted Murder Conviction Just A Hilarious Case Of Mistaken Identity
Sportsnet.ca has an epic interview with fresh-out-of-prison former Blues player Mike Danton, who says he didn't hire an assassin to kill his former coach/mentor, David Frost. He was really trying to kill his father. Totally different situation! [Sportsnet, via RiverfrontTimes]...
The Louts Will Rise Again
This swaying stereotype called Michael, apparently an Ole Miss frat creature, has some thoughts on that controversial "South will rise again" chant. It takes him precisely 10 seconds to say the magic phrase. Hint: It's not pro scientia et sapientia....
Night Of The Living Customized Jerseys
They're back. As long as people continue to waste money on customized sports clothing we will continue to celebrate whatever it is they're trying to accomplish. It's not a choice ... it's a lifestyle....
Ten Questions To Ask A Man Before You Agree to Marry Him
It's been my experience in life that, while men are more likely to bitch about the institution of marriage, it's WOMEN who more often end up regretting getting hitched....
Please Don't Mention Eggs To Mike McCarthy. Ever.
The Packers fired a 22-year Lambeau Field employee because coach Mike McCarthy thought he heard the guy tell him, "Don't lay an egg." That sounds about right. I wonder if the Metrodome is hiring? [Milwaukee Journal Sentinel]...
Bill Self Has A Discerning Eye For Talent, Ass
Self, on former Kansas big man Darnell Jackson: "I recruited Darnell because I liked his smile and he had a nice butt, to be honest with you." [KUsports.com, h/t Ryan C.]...
Steve Nash: NBA Optometrist
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Derek Jeter Has Really Let Himself Go Since...Last Wednesday
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Breaking News: Red Sox Fan Is Terrible Human
A college newspaper columnist wrote the douchiest column in the history of douchey college newspaper columns. What's the sports angle? Check the author's headshot. There's your sports angle....
Optimistic Coyotes Fan Misses Point Entirely
An Internet commenter on the new shuttle service that takes fans to Phoenix's arena:"When I lived in Denver, the Broncos ran shuttles from the park-an-rides to the stadium. The Denver Broncos always sold out games. Good move!" [KTAR]...
The Best Taunt You'll See All Week
The Hartford goalie warms up for the shootout by doing cartwheels (20-second mark); Stony Brook's shooter doesn't appreciate that. Let's see what happens next....