f Page 3259 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Area Satirical Newspaper Joins Forces With Puppet-Based Humor Channel
In a move I can only pray will cut Jeff Dunham-related programming down to a more manageable 23 hours a day, The Onion and Comedy Central will be doing a sports show together....

What Terrible Football Organization Will You Be Protesting This Weekend?
Are you a football fan? Then there's a good chance your favorite team sucks. Sorry. But if you really want people to feel your pain, you'll organize some sort of protest of upper management, because that always makes things better....

Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Blessing The Child Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence — quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose — that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....

Ted Ginn: A Lot Like Jesus!
Says Miami O-Coordinator Dan Henning: "In the Bible, on Palm Sunday they threw flowers at the Good Lord, then on Friday they....beat the shit out of him, crucified him....in this league they give us seven days....only gave him five." [NBCMiami]...

Whores Are Coming To Dallas
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Forget Strength Of Schedule; Look At This Snazzy Press Release!
The WAC hired a PR firm to convince voters than an undefeated Broncos team would be deserving of a BCS bowl. Okay, but I'm not going on a junket to Boise. [ESPN via Midwest Sports Fans]...

Hockey Team Dooms Children, Elderly
Because the prairie provinces are generally uncontroversial, and those few controversies are always hockey-related, the latest media storm in Calgary is due to the Flames jumping the line to receive the swine flu vaccine....

I Hope No One In Philadelphia Needed To Find Anything On The Internet Today
Bing is apparently giving up on that elusive non-New York market, transforming their front page into a tribute to the Yankees. Well, they do say that rooting for the Yankees is like rooting for Microsoft. [Via The Sports Hernia]...

The Face That Launched A Thousand Indignant E-Mails (UPDATE)
We thought it was all fun and games when we posted this video of Manu Ginobili swatting down a rogue bat on Halloween. We neglected to take into account the rabid bat-lovers among our readership....

Tim Lincecum Cited In Least Surprising Pot Bust Ever
Raise your hand if you didn't see this one coming. Was it the shaggy hair? The vacant smile? Or the 3.3 grams of marijuana found in the reigning Cy Young Award winner's Mercedes? [The Columbian]...

Searching For...Whoever The Hell This Lady Is
Deadspin's deadbeat ballplayer detective service has prompted more readers to reach out to us with more people-finding missions. The latest request is a little more complicated because it's, well, oh, just read the email......

Why Are So Many Quarterbacks Kicking So Much Ass? Jamboroo, Week 9
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

Deleted Scenes From The Sports Guy Book Tour
Bill Simmons' book tour continues apace (NY Times #1 bestseller!) and we also continue to get dispatches from fans of overweight literature. Enjoy these tales of long lines, blurry photographs, and some guy who likes autographed meat....

Searching For Enrique Wilson: Also In The Dominican Republic
You've gone an outdone yourselves again, sleuthers. Deadbeat Enrique Wilson has been located by multiple readers playing for the Toros Del Este in the Dominican Winter League....

Isiah Thomas Continues His Formula For Success
Florida International begins its march to the upper echelon of D-I basketball by playing its first exhibition game under their new head coach....and losing to an NAIA school coached by Rollie Massimino. Exactly as planned. [AP/SB/RTC]...

It Never Gets Old
So they spent more money than anyone else. So they didn't have to wait as long as anyone else. Ask us fans if it feels any less amazing. It doesn't....

Cheap Shots? That's Just The Way Georgia and Florida Play Football
There's been a lot of debate about Brandon Spikes' cat scratch fever on Washaun Ealey, but there's one point on which everyone seems to agree. Both Georgia and Florida play extremely dirty football and that's the way they like it....

Searching For...Enrique Wilson
Since our fine, upstanding readership was so helpful in tracking down Jose Lima for his ex-wife, Melissa, another ex-lover of a ballplayer requests your assistance. Yes, deadbeat wranglers, you've been deputized again. Please help Ms. Marina Valdez....

Darren Rovell Outrage Goes Up To 11
Yes, that's the Michael McKean — David St. Hubbins! Lenny from Laverne & Shirley! — calling Darren Rovell a dick. Oh, snap. [@MJMcKean, earlier]...

I Know It's Preseason, But — Le Moyne?
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....