f Page 3266 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Apparently, Paul Brown Stadium Is Also A Very Large Public Urinal
Here's a fun fact: Texans' right guard Chris White pissed his pants against the Bengals on Sunday because he was "uncomfortable," but didn't want to come off the field. Don't worry. Jeff Reed's got his back. [Chronicle; Photo]...
This Man Did Too Much Blow But Still Passed Out While Eating
Football season is upon us, which means that thousands of angry, horny, feisty pretend fans will converge upon this great nation's red cup-littered parking lots to participate in traditional tailgating revelry. These are not those stories...
CBS Airs More McNair Dirt, Police Beat Them To The Punch
Armen Keteyian promised more lurid details about the Steve McNair murder case today, but the Nashville Police stole his thunder by releasing their own updated report that basically says—"Yeah, we already knew all that."...
And Let's Just Watch This One More Time...
Even after watching this (literally) 12 times last night, I still can't get enough of it. SBNation had this vid up pretty early so we'll give those lovable bastards the nod....
Texas A&M Yell Leaders Aren't Doing Aggie Fans Any Favors
The A&M CheerYell Leaders fired up for the K-State game with a stunning rendition of "Ding Dong Song." (NSFW.) And put it on YouTube for some reason. They lost 62-14, but you can't really keep score on embarrassment. [SoYoked]...
Paranoid Angels Fans Accuse Mariano Rivera Of Throwing Spitballs
Angels fans have lost their freaking minds over the video below, which allegedly catches Yankees closer Mariano Rivera in the act of spitting on a baseball, right there in front of God and Joe Buck and 45,000 fans....
The Filipino Ron Artest Suspended One Year For Slugging Fan
Wynne "Tiny" Arboleda of the Philippine Basketball Association has been suspended for the entire 2009-10 season after he went all Daniel Plainview on a fan during a game. At least he'll have more time to work on his rap album....
There Goes The Greatest Halloween Costume That Ever Lived
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
D:LKFJ:LDFKJ:LDFKJ:LDKFJ:LDFK!!! (UPDATE)
Honestly. See you tomorrow!...
Tim Tebow Messiah Watch: Transfiguration Edition
With apologies to Slate, the Tim Tebow Messiah Watch is our occasional look at the growing body of evidence — quotes, signs and wonders, excessively fawning prose — that the Florida quarterback is the Lamb of God....
Return Of The Revenge Of The Customized Jersey
We asked for more. You delivered more....and more....and more. Whether it's a duct taped Brett Favre jersey or turning a beer cooler into a motorcycle, America has not lost its ingenuity, nor its desire for custom, DIY nonsense....
Armen Keteyian Will Solve This Steve McNair Business Himself
You probably thought that whole ugly Steve McNair business was over and done with, right? Guess again. You will never be rid of this story, because CBS News is still on the case—the Cold Case, if you will....
Jeff Reed: Defender Of Public Urination
Now we know the real truth behind Jeff Reed's cop trouble last night, and I owe him an apology. Reed was merely trying to defend his teammate—tight end Matt Spaeth—from police intimidation....after Spaeth was caught peeing in public....
Reporter Is Unamused By Our Tale Of Minor-League Cock Hijinks
Recently, Giants farmhand Garrett Broshuis shared the story of his teammate's dong-waggling mating ritual, which Garrett likened to the furious, metronomic beating of a toy drum. And now, the reporter for whom the drum was furiously, metronomically beaten is outraged....
Redskins Season Quickly Devolving Into Roland Emmerich Film
Oh, man. This Washington Redskins season. Let this be a lesson to you other teams: if you're not gonna contend for the playoffs, please have the courtesy to implode in the most hilarious manner possible....
Where The Poise Aren't
Poiserback Mark Sanchez tossed five interceptions in the Jets' 16-13 loss to the Bills yesterday and, more importantly, recorded just one "poise" in the next day's papers — and that in reference to his team's overall lack of the stuff....
A Flying Squirrel Mascot Is Not Totally Nuts
The winning entry in the "name Richmond, Virginia's new minor league baseball team" contest is: The Flying Squirrels. I can't wait for their giant foam mascot to scare the crap out of little children. [WTVR/Times-Dispatch]...
Jeff Reed Still Has The Magic Touch
The Liquor Kicker got cited for public intoxication and disorderly conduct after stumbling from Heinz Field down to McFadden's Bar after the game yesterday. Fortunately, he got pinched by 9 p.m. so he could still get his sleep. [WPXI]...
Alex Rodriguez Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Alex Rodriguez, who won the weekend by making everyone forget how much they hate him. Take his hand and he'll lead you there.......