fat Page 13 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
LT's Weight Loss Spokesman Replacement Has A Little Less Star Power
Lawrence Taylor is accused of doing some Very Bad Things. That means he's not allowed to tell us how he lost 35 pounds (results not typical) on Nutrisystem. Now pinch hitting: Matt Stairs....
Last Night's Winner: JaMarcus Russell's Adipose Tissue
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the 300-some pounds JaMarcus Russell was said to be carrying, and which the newly released quarterback will now be carrying out of Oakland....
Fat, Sweaty, Drunk Man Teaches You How NOT To Perform Standup
This six-minute clip, taken roughly seven years ago, represents my last performance as a stand up comedian. After watching for about five seconds, you will understand why....
Ron Darling Not High On Mets This Year And Has Attractive Wife, Says My Dad
Subject: "scoop": aj,talked to ron darling in the hot tub.asked him if the mets could catch the phillies".no way the phillies are too strong".his wife is a knockout her name is joanna last.could be wip material.dad...
New Mike And Mike Book "Enthralling," "Humanizes A Downtrodden, Long-Suffering People," Per Amazon
Either someone at Amazon is having a bit of sport with Fat Man and Little Boy's forthcoming Rules for Sports and Life, or the pair has written the definitive treatise on life in North Korea. [Amazon, see "Editorial Reviews"]...
Rick Majerus: Serial Child Squasher
Last week, we ran a post that exposed SLU head basketball coach Rick Majerus as someone who enjoys shitting on towels and sitting on campers. Here are MORE stories of Majerus', uh, largesse....
University With Weight Requirements Probably Has Terrible Offensive Line
A Pennsylvania college has made BMI as important as GPA when it comes to graduating, and some soon-to-be degree-less fatties are raising a stink....
Whitlock: Mangino's Oozing Pumpkin The Root Of All His Coaching Woes
Jason Whitlock offers his funky-fresh perspective on the absurd Mark Mangino poking situation by positing that the beleaguered coach's problems could have all been avoided had he not weighed "450 to 500 pounds." Fat-on-fat crime ensues....
Why Your Team Sucks: Denver Broncos
Some people are fans of the Denver Broncos. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Denver Broncos. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....
It Looks Like The Vick Jerseys Are On Back Order
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Why Your Team Sucks: Green Bay Packers
Some people are fans of the Green Bay Packers. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Green Bay Packers. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....
LenDale White's Revolutionary "No Tequila" Diet
Football fans have been marveling at the transformation of Titans' running back LenDale White, who has trimmed his previous bowling ball-like physique down to a svelte 228-pound Mack Truck. So how did he do it? By not eating worms, obviously....
Look At You. You Disgust Me.
Hey you. Yeah, you. You a big sports fan? Of course you are. You fat bastard. You make my physically ill....
World-Class Athlete Requires Liposuction To Stay Fit
Aging Brazilian legend Ronaldo went to the hospital for a broken wrist and had doctors throw a liposuction on the bill. How do you expect a guy to work out when he's busy playing all that soccer? [The Spoiler]...
At Least He Won His Old Man's Respect
The baseball field, Turgenev once wrote, is a sacred bonding ground for fathers and sons. And what's bonding if it's not daring your son to sprint across the infield of a minor league ballpark? Visiting him in juvi, maybe....
Pointless Sunday Gallery: When In Doubt, Lead With Roy Hobbs
Barbecue, La-Z-Boys, dessert, good fathers, seminal moments in pop culture and really, really dreadful fathers. It's the Father's Day edition of Pointless Sunday Gallery. Except this time, it has a point. Sort of?...
Let's All Jump Into Puddles
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
Jelena Dokic's Insane Father Has Still Got It (Insanity, That Is)
The father of Serbian tennis star Jelena Dokic once considered nuking Sydney, Australia, because his daughter preferred sun and surf to living in the Balkans. Now he only wants to murder the Australian ambassador. Progress!...
Richard Sandomir And Stefan Fatsis Talk Mock Brackets And MILFs
Another three-man Deadcast this week, featuring best-selling author Stefan Fatsis and NYT sports media editor Richard Sandomir....
Fine: There Is No Greater Bond Between Father And Son Hockey Fans Than Celebratory Fellatio
That headline is going to be a Google goldmine. [YouTube]...