field Page 91 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Evander Holyfield Would Appreciate It If You'd Pick Up The Check
So Evander Holyfield is broke. His $10 million house (featuring 17 bathrooms and a bowling alley) is in foreclosure, he's behind in child support payments, and things are generally looking bleak. And people, it's your fault. You just aren't buying enough Real Deal Grills! Why not? Dual temperature c...
Ice Hockey At Wrigley Field: The End Times Are Here
If you think it would be fun to see Chicago fans reach onto the field of play and try to interfere with a puck instead of a baseball for a change, then you're in luck. The NHL's second Outdoor Winter Classic game will pit the Chicago Blackhawks against the Detroit Red Wings at Wrigley Field, accordi...
Fun At the Preakness
Near as anyone could tell, today's game of beer-can volleyball broke out when someone flung a brew from on top of an outhouse. That, the surrounding masses realized, looked like jolly good fun. And soon the sky filled with silver-and-foam, the silver signifying surprisingly heavy vessels of lite bee...
Inside the Infield at Churchill Downs
Just because you don't really give a crap about horse racing doesn't mean you shouldn't be enjoying yourself like the happy-go-lucky types at the OTB. The Kentucky Derby is really just one huge ass party divided in two parts. The rich guys and southern belles cougars wear their most ridiculously ex...
Cliff Notes: Indians Say There's No Place Like Home
Cliff Lee and Progressive Field were both winners on Wednesday; although after the game one went out and celebrated, and the other spent the night covered with a tarp. Cleveland's stadium took the top spot in the Sports Illustrated fan survey for best Major League ballpark, and inspired by his home...
Passersby Were Amazed By The Unusually Large Amounts Of Blood
This bloodied but unbowed runner is Alicia Follmar of Stanford, who took a spill at the start of the women's distance medley at the prestigious Penn Relays. She quickly recovered and managed to finish third....
The Cowboys Have A Preferred Long Distance Provider
They're still constructing the Dallas Cowboys' new stadium, and if you're one of those people who thought the Cowboys were too iconic a franchise to fall prey to stadium naming right, well, stop being so foolish....
It's So Cute When Newspapers Fight Over The Cubs
The Chicago Sun-Times announced earlier today that Katie Hamilton, a 22-year-old college student, won its "Zell No" video contest. The newspaper says her entry "chastises [Tribune CEO Sam] Zell for pondering the sale of Wrigley Field's naming rights." What the paper didn't seem to realize was that H...
Are You Ready For "Torco Field" On The North Side?
We haven't weighed in yet on the notion that the Cubs might change the name of Wrigley Field, but let us say that it would make us, and just about everybody we know, incredibly sad. There'd be no more sad sign of our times than having drunk postcollegiates stumbling around Bank of America Field. Ev...
Tyson-Holyfield III: For All The Butterscotch
The Shocker Before Matlock! The Scuffle During Shuffleboard! The Rumble For The Hoverround! Two Guys On The Beach Fighting Instead Of Wandering Around With Metal Detectors! None of these are catchy names, so a third fight between Evander Holyfield and Mike Tyson probably won't happen....
Welcome To Levitra Field, Home Of The Cubs
So, much grumbling today over the latest blasphemy in Chicago: Owner Sam Zell says he "wouldn't hesitate" to sell the naming rights to Wrigley Field. Of course our friend Mariotti is all in a sweaty panic over this, which kind of makes me think it might be a good idea. But then I'm not a Cubs fan. H...
Our Field Trip To Madison Square Garden
For the third consecutive year, in the tradition of batting against John Rocker and playing touch football with Andre Rison and Kordell Stewart, we accepted an invitation from the fine folks at "Pros Vs. Joes" to — get ready — play two-on-two hoops against Charles Oakley and Charles Smith. At Madi...
Kent Bottenfield Croons To Save Your Soul
We remember former major league pitcher Kent Bottenfield as an above-average starter for the Cardinals and the guy we packaged with Bill Simmons lookalike Adam Kennedy to grab Jim Edmonds. (Also, he's the least likely human to be included in the Mitchell Report tomorrow.) Well, he's more than that n...
Behold The Wonder That Is Tim Wakefield
The man you see in this picture, about to knuckle that wildly bouncing arrow into the leg of the man standing next to him, is Tim Wakefield. He has been with the Red Sox since 1995 and has ridden all the postseason waves that have surrounded the team during that time. And tonight, he has to save th...
Holyfield's Brain Cells Becoming Even Less Effective
Evander Holyfield, a man who has been punched in the face so many times that you have to wonder if he's come full circle and now can calculate pi, is fighting some guy named Sultan for the heavyweight championship in Moscow this weekend. If he wins, he'll be set to fight Wladimir Klitschko for a uni...
And So The Great 21st Century Grill Wars Have Begun
As you have probably noted in your personal journal, a little while back we called for someone, anyone, to give Evander Holyfield a grill endorsement. Well, someone was listening. Introducing the Evander Holyfield Real Deal Grill, which hit stores last week, and is meant as a direct competitor to Ge...
Rage Against The Machine
This happened a while ago, but hey, whaddya gonna do? Stationary bikes, meant to bring mankind together through the shared experience of pointless effort, have instead become instruments of violence and wanton destruction. Let the record show that the first recorded incident of "spin rage" occurred ...