fuel Page 5 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Is Brian Baldinger's Mangled Digit Growing A Face?
Brian Baldinger's permanently dislocated little finger has been well documented by many, many people since he first started appearing on national television as an NFL analyst....
The Raiders Still Have Some Fight In Them
The Raiders, the Redskins, and some teams that actually still matter at this point in the season....
Ted Williams' Daughter Likes To Paint, Has Issues
According to Leigh Montville’s book “Ted Williams: The Biography of an American Hero,” Williams was a distant father, who missed the births of son John Henry and daughter Claudia, the former for a fishing trip. His non-parenting of course caused no repercussions, as is seen in adult Claudia's happy,...
Now More Unsettling Than Ever
This here is Texas Tech offensive lineman Brandon Carter. I dare you to try and go back to sleep after seeing that morningmare inducing shit. Since you're already up you may as well check out some video of Carter mooning a national television audience....
Some Things In The SI Vault Should Stay There
We were all excited when Sports Illustrated announced back in March that they were putting all of their old issues online: "150,000 stories , 2,800 covers, 500,000 photographs!" But for every intriguing journey into the SI Vault, there is also a very dark, disturbing one, as a tipster pointed out th...
Choose Your Own Adventure
You are standing at the crossroads of your life. There are two closed doors in front of you. Behind one of them is an expansive gallery featuring 92 photos of the lovely dimple-faced Carrie Milibank in all of her bikini-laden glory. But behind the other door lurks an evil Auburn fan, donning a creep...
Pennywise The Clown Hearts The Heat
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap This is Michael Beasley of the Heat, throwing up a shot at the other end of the court for no good reason other than he was scared shitless because that Ronald McDonald clown in the...
Feet Shouldn't Be Pointing That Way
Thanks to PFT who finally found an embeddable video of the gruesome leg injury suffered by the Vikes' Charles Gordon. If you've eaten within the last hour, you may want to pass on this for now. There's no update on Gordon's status, but one could make the assumption after viewing that his season — at...
The Horrible Revenge Of Dr. Gopher
Well, this is pretty much every nightmare I had from ages 15 to 23 ... make of that what you will. But further one might ask, how does a giant, costumed rodent chasing students on a college campus with a syringe not make it on Nightline, or at least the local evening news? It's when the assailant is...
You Do Not Want To Be In Jan Huokko's Fave Five
Yesterday we told you about The Night of a Thousand Dildos, in which Swedish hockey fans showered the ice with plastic sex devices at a second-tier, Pro Hockey League match between Leksand and AIK in Stockholm. The fusillade was unleashed in honor of former AIK and current Leksand player Jan Huokko,...
The Plymouth Whalers Plan To Frighten Breast Cancer Into Submission
When it comes to Breast Cancer Awareness Week, the Plymouth Whalers have set the bar impossibly high. Where can you go after this move, in which every member of the Ontario Hockey League team on Tuesday dyed their hair pink? There's just nothing left to dye after this (don't go there, bro). Here we ...
Meet The Man Who Felled Kimbo
And now, a personal pictorial review of the guy who knocked out Kimbo Slice. A self described "goofy homo" whose dream is to open a chain of Smoothie Kings. ...
Lineman Chooses Amputation Over Surgery
When told he would need season ending surgery on his pinkie, Mesa State College offensive lineman Trevor Wikre made the most logical decision. He told them to cut off the finger. ...
He's Just Your Average Octogenarian Bodybuilder Who Will Not Die
Hmm. Yes, I guess this could technically be categorized as "Nightmare Fuel" but at the same time, there is something comforting in the fact that 80-year-old bodybuilders like Ray Moon do exist. Actually, not all. These men should only exist in the darkest corners of a mescaline-ravaged mind or a Gui...
Charlie Weis Tears Two Ligaments in Knee While Simply Standing Around
Charlie Weis got Theismen'd yesterday during the Notre Dame v. Michigan game. Did the fact that he was standing on the sidelines and not actually on the field make the rotund coach feel any more embarrassed? Heck no! After the game, Weis found out he tore two ligaments in his knee and he seemed rath...
Cal's Jahvid Best Loses His Lunch
The early games have been rather boring this afternoon but California's Jahvid Best is having considerably less fun than you are today. As Jamie Mottram put it, "Maryland is beating the puke out of Cal." Literally....
For Your Viewing Pleasure: Let the River Run, Indeed
• 12:00 — College Football: Navy vs. Duke [ESPNU] - Get to know the young men that you will silently curse when they blow by you for promotions in six years. • 2:30 — Movie: Working Girl [A&E] - Joan Cusack only lost this Oscar because she had to compete in the Best Supporting Actress category with ...
Gigantic AT&T Logo Of Doom Rings In Olympic Games
Look, coming out of the floor ... it's the Death Star! Aiieee! It all began in Nov., 2005, when China rolled out its nightmare-inducing Olympic mascots, which may or may not include a two-footed goat. And now it culminates in an orgasm of pomp, color and spectacle — like Walt Disney throwing up, as ...
There May Be An A-Rod/Madonna Sex Tape. Is There No End To Our Suffering?
A New York man is claiming that he has a Madonna-Alex Rodriguez sex tape, and wants a million pounds for it. Of course, fundraisers are being organized furiously at this moment to pay the guy to burn all copies. Even Queen Elizabeth is chipping in with a few random palace jewels. Give till it hurts,...
Say Hello To The Newest Olympic Sport: Scooter Jousting
I'll admit that this one has a tenuous link at best to sports, but come on; two elderly women are playing bumper cars with their mobility scooters in the middle of a supermarket, and you expect me to simply let it slide? I'm not made of stone! It goes without saying that if Versus made this a weekly...