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The Worst Thing About This Gruesome Powerlifting Accident Is The Sound
If you watch this video, you’re going to not only see, but hear the ruination of a man’s legs. Make your choice....

Tight Putt, Danny Willett
Englishman Danny Willett had an opportunity to earn an eagle on the par-5 13th hole at the Masters today, and he converted it with a perfect, extremely long putt. Willett read the green perfectly. ...

Q&A: The Mountain Goats' John Darnielle On Pro Wrestling's Arty Allure
John Darnielle has made his creative mark by exploring obsessions, extremities, intense emotional moments, and their aftermaths. Over nearly a quarter-century, his band the Mountain Goats have moved from solo-guitar-and-voice home tapes to elegant full-band albums featuring long-established cohorts ...

Local Cubs Broadcast Intro Is Just A Disaster
The GIF above cycles through some of the graphics that were used in the intro package that led into ABC 7’s broadcast of yesterday’s Cubs game. Did you catch all those errors? Here, let us slow things down for you....

Bad Company Man Jeff Van Gundy Brings Up Augusta's Discrimination
Beginning tomorrow, ESPN will broadcast the first two rounds of the Masters at Augusta National Golf Club, so during tonight’s NBA contest they ran a little promo for it. Unfortunately for ESPN and the Masters, play-by-play man Mike Breen went off-script and imagined a world in which Jeff Van Gundy...

<i>Golf Digest</i> Is Running Creepy Photos Of Women Watching Golf Now
It’s not news that the slideshow is a poor (but lucrative) method of framing a story on the internet, but the topic of this Golf Digest effort—“The Hottest Patrons at Augusta”—is just awful. For a magazine that recently banked on side boob on the cover, this is still quite lazy. ...

Jack Nicklaus Sinks Hole-In-One In Par-3 Contest
Old man’s still got it. Jack Nicklaus got a hole-in-one on the fourth hole of today’s par-3 contest at the Masters. The Golden Bear’s 75 years old and still better than you. ...

Cubs Postpone Game On Account Of Rain; Rain Doesn't Show Up
After a disastrous opening night that saw fans peeing in cups to avoid enormous lines for the bathroom, the Cubs hauled in portable toilets in an effort to remedy the situation for future games. They didn’t get to try them out, however, because the club skipped their second game Tuesday night, post...

Selfie Dog Barfs
Dogs barf. Sometimes it’s really funny when dogs barf, like when they do it at sporting events, or at the precise moment that their owner is trying to snap a selfie with them....

What If Roger Goodell Were President?
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we’re covering taco enemas, board games, wiping, and more....

Player Goes Full Luis Suárez, Bites The Shit Out Of Opponent's Shoulder
Damn, Club Tijuana midfielder Juan Arango’s bite this weekend might be even worse than any of bite master Luis Suárez’s. On the angle you see above, you really get a good look at just how much flesh Arango’s teeth get ahold of, as well as the calmness on his face as he jogs away....

Wrigley Field To Be Stocked With Portable Toilets
After watching Wrigley Field turn into a piss-soaked hellscape on opening night, the Chicago Cubs are taking steps to replace the bathroom facilities that have been knocked out by the ongoing construction at the stadium. Here come the portable toilets to save the day! ...

Did Derrick Rose's Ex-Girlfriend Announce He Will Return On Wednesday?
Derrick Rose’s ex-girlfriend Mieka Reese—who he dated for a number of years and gave birth to their son Derrick Jr. in 2012—posted the following on Instagram, along with the simple caption “W E D N E S D A Y”: ...

DA: NFL, Union Can See Pictures From Greg Hardy Case, Nobody Else Can
The Mecklenburg district attorney has allowed the NFL and the NFL Players Association to view seven photographs it wanted to see from Greg Hardy’s domestic violence case. What exactly is shown in the seven photographs isn’t made clear in the press release, but the announcement is clear on who won’t ...

The Anarchist Of Summer: A D.C. Rabble Rouser Returns To Baseball
Adam Eidinger has gone right at City Hall, the Republican and Democratic Parties, the war machine, the World Bank, the DEA, countless developers, and, most famously, Major League Baseball. His fights tend to end with him getting his ass kicked—and not just figuratively. ...

Joakim Noah Will Always Be There To Shit-Talk LeBron James
One of the most endearing things about Joakim Noah is his continued insistence on just not having it with LeBron James and whatever team James happens to be on. There was the time he called out James for his dancing in the middle of a game, the time he called the Heat “Hollywood as hell,” and there...

"An Absolute Shit Show": Tales From The Wrigley Field Bathroom Lines
Despite the Cubs’ increasingly emphatic insistence otherwise, Wrigley Field was not ready for opening day. Even beyond the expected absence of bleachers, the stadium’s infrastructure was apparently overwhelmed by the gameday crowd, with bathroom lines stretching through the concourse and back out i...

Fans At Wrigley Field Are Resorting To Peeing In Cups
We’ve been chronicling the hilarity of the Cubs’ attempts to renovate Wrigley Field this offseason, but things took a dark turn as the park opened for its first game Sunday night. An anonymous tipster sent us the above photo with the following explanation:...

Braves Trade Craig Kimbrel And Melvin Upton Jr. To The Padres
The Atlanta Braves have traded closer Craig Kimbrel and outfielder Melvin Upton Jr. to the San Diego Padres, as first reported by FanGraphs’ Kiley McDaniel. ...

Shaun Livingston Swings His Arm Into Dirk Nowitzki's Junk
Hmmm. Shaun Livingston is not someone you typically associate with goonish behavior, but here’s Livingston taking a swing at Dirk Nowitzki’s brat and two veg during the Mavs-Warriors game Saturday night. ...