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A Highly Scientific* Analysis of GRRM's Progress On <i>The Winds of Winter</i>
This post originally appeared on Watchers on the Wall. Republished here with permission. ...

Sprinting Weirdo Heath Bell Has Retired
The Nationals released Heath Bell Monday, and today, the 37-year-old reliever said he would retire. Watch him sprint to the mound in the 2011 All-Star Game....

José Abreu Is Baseball's Most Interesting Boring Star
Every now and then a sportswriter, worrying over why baseball isn't as popular with the youngs as it once was/could be, will cite the blandness of the modern star as one of the great problems facing the game. Recently, for instance, the Boston Globe's Nick Cafardo cited Reggie Jackson, Barry Bonds, ...

Chill Dude Crashes Warriors Postgame Show, Does "Electric Zombie" Dance
This happened after Friday's game between the Pelicans and Warriors, but it was just brought to our attention by a friend of the hairy, dancing gent in the clip above. I become more and more jealous that I am not a Warriors fan with each passing day....

Nikola Mirotic Is Balling
Bulls rookie forward Nikola Mirotic went for 28 points and eight rebounds in a win against the Hornets last night, a performance that he punctuated by banking one on Jason Maxiell's head. Mirotic's minutes have been fluctuating like crazy throughout the season, but Tom Thibodeau is finally starting ...

Deadcast: Peter King Talks To Roger Goodell, Accomplishes Nothing
So Peter King landed an interview with Roger Goodell (I know… I'm as shocked by his journalistic coup as you are) and the commissioner took the opportunity to spew out a bunch of boilerplate Roger Goodell nonsense: blanket declarations of self-assurance, private police forces, bullshit concussion st...

Cute Dog Is So Incredibly Bad At Catching Food
We've seen some good doggies who are bad at catching things before, but none of those doggies have reached the heights of ineptitude that Fritz achieves in this video. ...

The NFL Veteran Combine Is The Saddest
The NFL hosted its first-ever veteran combine this weekend, a chance for players who have fallen out of the league for one reason or another to claw their way back onto an NFL roster by proving that they've still got it. Michael Sam was there! So were Felix Jones, Michael Bush, and a lot of other ...

Eric Gordon Faceplants, Loses His Tooth
This is Pelicans shooting guard Eric Gordon stumbling, faceplanting, and then realizing that the thing he heard skittering out onto the floor is in fact a big ol' chunk of his tooth....

Karim Benzema's Gorgeous Pass To Ronaldo Helps Tie Up El Clasico 1-1
Karim Benzema's tiny little flick to Ronaldo is a thing of beauty because it's the kind of devilish move that makes soccer special. At first glance, it's just another back-heel. Then Ronaldo comes charging down the pitch with nothing but green and a goalkeeper in front of him and you realize, oh my ...

Exquisite Juan Mata Scissor Kick Put Man United 2-0 Up On Liverpool
In what was a fairly insane second half of today's huge Liverpool-Manchester United match, there was at least one moment of brilliance to break up the surrounding nuttiness. That was the criminally underused Juan Mata scoring his second goal of the game in acrobatic fashion....

Two Premier League Goalkeepers Had To Be Stretchered Off The Pitch
It's a dangerous day to be a goalkeeper in the English Premier League. ...

I'm A Craft Addict: On The Pleasures Of <i>Dragon Age: Inquisition</i>
It's true: I could really use some elfroot. It's hard to find. Why is it so hard to find? Wait, is it hard to find? Have I just been looking in all the wrong places? Given its importance to this particular video game—you need elfroot for, like, every healing potion—I'd expect it to be more plentiful...

Ref Goes Down With Injury; Soccer Player Uses Spray To Outline His Body
Hartlepool played Oxford United yesterday in England's League 2, which is not great. Midway through the second half, referee Patrick Miller collapsed, clutching his knee with what appeared to be a serious injury. Not great, either. What is great, though, is what happened next as Miller writhed on th...

Tim Howard Kinda Just Chills With His Hands Down, Watches Goal Go In
I know. I know. It was a great goal from Dynamo Kiev's Andriy Yarmolenko. Someone should've, could've stepped to the ball, at some point. Tim Howard probably couldn't have gotten to it anyway. I know. That's all out of the way....

Kyrie Irving Made Timofey Mozgov's Job Very Easy
Cavs center Timofey Mozgov scored 17 points on 7-of-8 shooting while playing just 17 minutes in last night's rout of the Nets. That's an efficient-ass game! He's got Kyrie Irving, who set up five of those seven made buckets with some beautiful passing, to thank for it....

Even The Chicago Cubs Are Owning Darren Rovell
You would think that after a career full of attempts at being clever on Twitter backfiring, living BrandBot Darren Rovell would give up the bantering aspect of the platform and stick to reporting on whichever 8,000 calorie food abomination is being introduced in a minor league ballpark near you. B...

Holy Mother Carlos Tevez Just Bombed Germany With This Rocket Golazo
Juventus and Borussia Dortmund are playing today, right now. A few minutes ago, they kicked off. Then two minutes passed. Then Juventus's Carlos Tevez got the ball. Then he blew up Germany's hopes, and also Germany. No more high-quality vehicles for anyone. Because there's no more Germany. Germany's...

WGN Has Woman Make Sparks With Her Crotch In Front Of Awestruck Kids
This wonderful moment in local news history was broadcast recently on Chicago's WGN. Please note the children in the background....