go Page 687 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Incredibly Earnest Preteen Coach Is YouTube Gold
Coach Noah might be the greatest thing to happen to basketball since the shot clock. You only think I'm kidding....
Terrible Golfer Banned For Using Drugs To Enhance His Terrible Performance
Doug Barron, a 40-year-old veteran with zero PGA Tour wins, is the first golfer to be suspended under the tour's anti-doping policy. Now he will no longer terrorize the professional ranks with his massive 270-yard drives....
Celebrating A Half-Century Of Common Sense
Today is the 50th anniversary of Jacques Plante first donning a mask in a game. Which is good, because instead of debating the necessity of fighting in hockey, we'd be wondering why our goalies keep dying every few weeks. [WaPo]...
Matt D'Agostini Got Knocked The Fuggout
Chicago Blackhawks Andrew Ladd absolutely leveled Montreal Canadiens right winger Matt D'Agostini early in last night's 3-2 Chicago victory. More talk about head shots! Whee!...
Sports Fan Coalition Is An Actual Thing Now
Remember the sports fan lobbying group that you're supposed to love and/or be scared of? It really exists now. So feel free to panic and/or stick it to the man....
Congress Gets Involved In Concussion Debate, Fails To Solve Everything
Goodell, along with NFLPA leader DeMaurice Smith and other people in suits, was grilled by the House Judiciary Committee about all this stuff they've been hearing about "concussions" and "permanent brain damage." The Commish talked a great deal about all the many things the league is doing—rule chan...
Danny Snyder Doesn't Like Your Heartfelt Signage
Dan Steinberg found this in a trash can outside FedEx Field, where pretty much every form of human expression has been banned. It's clear: Dan Snyder is just a moustache and a pogrom or two short of being Joseph Stalin....
Brad Childress Is The Ugliest Dame You’ll Ever See
Fucking Brad Childress. Only this prick would decline an offsides penalty on first down to take a seven-yard gain. Or dress like a woman on the flight to Pittsburgh to motivate his team. Wait, what?...
Cedric Benson Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Cedric Benson, who won the weekend by making the Chicago Bears look foolish. Granted, he's not the first....
Goal By SMU Soccer Player Probably Made The Goalie From Tulsa Go 'SM-Ewwwwww'
That is precisely what happened to Ryan Rosenbaum, a freshman at Southern Methodist University. With SMU leading Tulsa 2-1, Rosenbaum booted the ball downfield to clear it out of the defensive zone, which ended up bouncing over the Tulsa goalie's head and into the net. The goal ultimately was the ga...
ESPN Horndog Dossier: The Glossary And Denouement (JED DRAKE UPDATE)
We'll end this scandal-ridden ride on the back of the scorpion with a more general story about the behavior many ESPN employees past and present engage in as part of the "travel" crew. And where's there's road, there is beef....
ESPN Horndog Dossier: Kate Lacey
Who? Exactly. Lacey, SVP of Marketing for ESPN, was a popular subject in our tips box dating back to last year. Why? Why do people despise this woman so much?...
ESPN Horndog Dossier: Erik Kuselias (UPDATED)
Who? Right. Exactly. But Mr. Kuselias, as tiny an orb as he may be in the ESPN galaxy, has solidified his reputation as "the biggest douchebag in the place," according to multiple sources. But what about that sex-harassment thing?...
ESPN: The Worldwide Leader In Sexual Depravity
On September 9, we received a tip. Subject: "S. Phillips." The contents? "Rumor winding it's way around the hallowed halls of the WWL is that Steve Phillips is getting canned tomorrow for an offense on par with Harold Reynold's misdeed."...
StubHub Offering Great Deals On Mythical Mets-Cubs World Series Tickets
For baseball fans who have seen their teams' championship dreams already extinguished, October is the cruelest month. So it doesn't help when some mean website rubs salt in the wounds with offers of imaginary playoff tickets....
Maradona Tells His Critics To "Suck It", Also "Keep On Sucking it"
Argentina's greatest soccer hero has caught a lot of flack since taking over the national team and leading them almost nowhere. But after dramatically securing a last-minute World Cup berth, he let loose with an epic kiss-my-ass tirade....
Fancy Lad Wows Hockey World With Whirlybird Goal
The highlight of the NHL season so far belongs to a nine-year-old showing off during some weird Mini Mite competition. He's already been added to the Maple Leafs roster. [Video below via NHL.tv]...
These Athletes Are Going To Hell
A fundamentalist Baptist church is making headlines for their upcoming book/album burning, but their website reveals a hidden treasure: the Index Of Ungodly Athletes....
Report: Limbaugh Dumped From Potential Rams Ownership Group
According to Adam Schefter, the investment group looking to buy the St. Louis Rams has decided that Rush Limbaugh's money is not worth his baggage and they plan to drop him from their ranks....