ham Page 307 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Stop The World, We Want To Get Off
If there were any real cosmic justice out there, stories such as this would not be allowed to happen; a wise, all-knowing God, concerned only with the greater good, would hurl a giant meteor right directly into our equator first. But ours is a stark, lonely universe, devoid of reason, and we are p...
The Fast And The Furryous
If you sat through more than one college football game on Saturday, then obviously you forgot that this past weekend was also the opening of hamster ball racing season. PETCO sponsored races at nearly all of its 800 stores in the U.S. on Saturday, which they called the Hamster Ball Derby. Accordin...
Today In Soccer...
The Premiership is taking the day off, due to some Euro 2008 qualifying games, and some other international friendlies going down. But the big story right now is Carlos Tevez moving from Brazilian club Corinthians to Premiership team West Ham. A guy like Tevez, you'd think would prefer a bigger club...
U.S. Advances Once Again: Bring On The Greeks!
In a game we actually got up to watch for you this morning, the United States coasted into the semifinals of the World Basketball Championships by scooting past Germany 85-65 in Japan. We hope you actually were near an ESPN2 at the time, because, like all week, FIBA's Web site wasn't working, even s...
Australia Gets Their Beatdown
Team USA buried a big Paul Hogan-style knife into the Australian national team last night, winning by 40 in a game that wasn't as close as the score would indicate. Carmelo had 20, Joe Johnson 18, Dwyane Wade 15, and Shane Battier and Chris Bosh had 12 each....
Today In The Premiership...
Fulham 1-0 Sheffield United. It's Jimmy Bullard's world. You just live here. After scoring the game winner for Fulham against Bolton earlier in the week, Jimmy Bullard singlehandedly carried Fulham to victory over Sheffield United. Bullard also leads the league in pretty hair curls and weirdfuck p...
Everyone Else Is Really Just Wasting Their Time
I really don't know what to tell you here. It's Tiger Woods, it's Sunday, it's a major tournament, and it's over after the front 9. In fact, it was probably over before he teed off. The man has just been incredible....
Today In The Premiership...
• Manchester United 5-1 Fulham. A little bit of order was restored after a couple of unlikely draws during yesterday's play. Up first, Man United notched five goals against a Fulham defense that's described in the BBC article as "shambolic," a word that isn't used nearly enough. Wayne Rooney and C...
Very Few Of Those 1.3 Billion Are Good Basketball Players
Team USA got back to their ass-romping ways this morning, beating China by a score of 121-90. Despite the presence of Yao Ming, China's not that good of a team. Really, they're probably the most poorly-equipped team to play the United States; they prefer (an unathletic) man defense, and their guar...
Luke Donald's Going To Need A Huge Pair Of Balls
I'm going to try to not make this post entirely about Tiger Woods, as tomorrow's golf post will probably be entirely about Tiger Woods. But yeah, Tiger Woods is tied with Luke Donald for the lead of the PGA Championship after 54 holes. Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods, Tiger Woods....
As Far As Wins Go, That Was Pretty Uncomfortable
It's just the first game, and a win's a win, but I'm not going to do any victory dances when we give up 100 points to Puerto Rico, either. Team USA did win by a score of 111-100, but they never really pulled away, they never dominated for a stretch longer than a couple of minutes, and they never rea...
Keith Hamilton Swings A Mean Surge Protector
Former Giants defensive tackle Keith Hamilton believes in an odd method of disciplining his children. Some parents will go for the "time-out," some will go for a routine spanking, some might make you put a quarter in a jar every time you swear. But if you're Keith Hamilton's kid, and you come home w...
Today In The Premiership...
• Cristiano Ronaldo, hated by everyone in England a month ago, was actually welcomed quite warmly by the Manchester United fans at Old Trafford today. He notched a goal and an assist in United's 3-0 victory over Sevilla. After he and beloved Wayne Rooney got into it during the Portugal/England quart...
More Mascot Nightmare Fuel From Our Friends In Japan
Japan is hosting the World Basketball Championships this year, and you know what that means: confusing cartoon mascots. You'll feel exactly like you've been hit over the head repeatedly with a Pachinko machine after viewing BAD Badtz-Maru — some sort of bad-ass penguin, we're told — and his "frien...
The King Is Dead, Long Live The King
Zack Hample has insulted us once too often. You remember Hample, the Dead End Kid who claims to have collected more than 2,000 baseballs at major league parks. In a recent post over at his blog, The Baseball Collector, Hample mocks Deadspin in a most egregious and insulting manner concerning Barry...
You're With Us, Shameless Consumerism
Someone emailed us today letting us know that, for their birthday, their friend was buying them one of the "You're With Me, Leather" T-shirts. We were touched and honored by this, though, to be fair, it doesn't take much to touch or honor us....
That Brief Moment Before Phillies Fans Start Hating You
Few things in the sports are more reliably and depressingly predictable than the arc of a young Philadelphia prospect. Philly fans start salivating when they initially hear about a guy, start shaking uncontrollably a few weeks before his debut, are screaming at a fever pitch once he's finally on t...
MC Hammer's Tomahawk Chop
So we were playing around on MC Hammer's blog this morning. We absolutely love Hammer's blog, so you know. He actually did a post yesterday just to give a blog shoutout to God. Gotta love that....
NCAA Pants Party: Monmouth Vs. Hampton
Monmouth Hawks (18-14) vs. Hampton Pirates (16-15). When: Tuesday, 7:35 p.m. Where: Dayton, Ohio....
You Got To Blog Just To Make It Today
We know what you're thinking: What does MC Hammer think about this Barry Bonds business?...