have Page 11 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Gus Johnson Hits The Pause Button
This is from a while back, but I feel it buttresses (pause) my claim that Gus Johnson should be paired with Dick Vitale. Sure, they're on different networks and their collective screaming would surely destroy us all. But at least the next time Dickie V. starts a massive Dook fellatefest, there'll be...
About Last Night...
What you missed while ordering a refill of penis reduction pills... • NBA: Where is your Pau now? Blazers defeat Lakers 119-111. • NHL: Former Cardinals outfielder Setoguchi scores winning goal as San Jose beats Detroit 3-2. • MLB: Juan Gonzalez homers off ... Johan Santana? I know it's only spring ...
Those Eight Percent Shooting Nights Will Get You Every Time
Just great. One round into the District 3 Class A high school boys basketball playoffs in Pennsylvania, and my brackets are already in shambles. The team I had picked to reach the finals, the York Country Day Greyhounds, lost to the Scotland Cadets 74-5 last week. Yeah, think that the Knicks' 40-poi...
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
About Last Night
What you missed while driving to a seedy area of town to try and score some Hershey's mints ... • College basketball: Love will find a way. UCLA 80, Oregon 75. • NBA: 15 Strong ... I hope you aren't shocked by the news that the Heat lost again. San Antonio 90, Miami 89. • Tennis: A win so big you ca...
It Gets Late Early Down Under
It's 3:48 in the am and I'm preparing to entertain the shit out of you all weekend long, but I'd be remiss if I didn't alert all those awake to the goings on in Melbourne. Roger Federer is down a set to Serbian Janko Tipsarević who came into the night paying out at 180/1 to win the third round matc...
Who's Sorry Now? Goofed Up National Anthem Edition
If you've never had your penis regaled in song, well, you don't know just how inspiring that can be. British singer Tony Henry was belting out the Croatian National Anthem before the recent European Championship 2008 soccer match with England, but botched the lyrics, with hilarious results....
Fun With Bermanisms
What is the worst Bermanism of all time? Sure, they're all cringe-inducing; especially if you imagine him blurting them out during pickup sex. Plus, they seem to multiply like fleas; there must be about a hundred of them. Well, actually, 528 to be exact. Yep, some poor sap compiled a list of every b...
Even Jets Fans Are Asking Her Not To Take It Off
Of all the European soccer promotions ever seen, this is by far the most interesting. By which I mean, you may have my eyes now. I have a donor card, so please make sure they go to a worthy recipient, like an NBA ref....
I'm That Mountain Peak Up High
• The best signs from Saturday's edition of Gameday. [Football Jesus Las Vegas] • Nick Young's first leap towards the Dunk Contest. [Mister Irrelevant] • Willie Randolph looks back. [The Mets Are Better Than Sex] • In case you weren't aware or didn't just see it coming, Donovan McNabb is hurt again....
I'm That Mountain Peak Up High
• The best signs from Saturday's edition of Gameday. [Football Jesus Las Vegas] • Nick Young's first leap towards the Dunk Contest. [Mister Irrelevant] • Willie Randolph looks back. [The Mets Are Better Than Sex] • In case you weren't aware or didn't just see it coming, Donovan McNabb is hurt again....
You Have To Triple Team Josh McNeil
Tennessee center Josh McNeil has a history of problems with alcohol, including a public intoxication and underage drinking charge that kept him out of five spring practices, quite the punishment. But after an incident this weekend, we now know the truth: Josh McNeil doesn't have an alcohol problem ....
You Should See The Portion Of The Costume That Fell Off During Mile 3
If you like marathons, and AJ Daulerio, then feast on this! It's from the Chicago Marathon, via 100 Percent Injury Rate, who got it from some site called Avant/Chicago. The funny part is that when you go there, it's all normal, bland photos of people running, until you trip over this one....
Nobody Has Less Joyful Celebrations Than The Yankees
The playoffs are about to start, and we're gonna be in for precisely six more champagne celebrations before this whole business finishes off....
Isiah Thomas Trial Takes Nasty Turn ... Thanks To Stephon!
We are the furthest thing from a legal expert — we legitimately had to have "billable hours" explained to us earlier this year — but one would think, after yesterday's testimony in the Isiah Thomas sexual harassment case, Isiah and MSG would have to be in some serious trouble....
You Gotta Know When To Hold 'Em...
There's a big underground poker game here in Greenville that I had been trying to get into for months. Last month, somebody robbed it. [Up For Poker]...
Some First Half Updates...Quickly
Since all of us PC folk are now watching these games via streaming video, these updates are just for you Mac people. But, hey, Jeff Goldblum still thinks, uh, that you're, ah, a great guy-ee!...
Hugh II: The Nedessey Continues... Part 3
Wow. They're really piling on Michigan today. They're talking about App State every chance they get, not failing to mention that 3 game losing streak, and even breaking out footage of the Kordell Stewart play. Are they going to dig up Bo and Gerald Ford and parade their dead bodies on ABC too just t...
A Quick Thought On Fantasy Football (Take 2)
I am in four fantasy leagues this year. Last year I was in eight. I'm also the proud owner of two keeper leagues, in both of which I am commissioner. When someone asked me why I would willingly serve as such a glutton for punishment, I replied simply, "I would rather be the guy in charge."...
We Keep Our Wanka Kits In The Nightstand Drawer
Good news for those of you who haven't been able to track down a replica jersey of the Jacksonville Jerkoffs of the old ABA: the hot new jersey in the U.K. is that of Peruvian soccer club D. Wanka:...