have Page 8 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Here's A Waving Otter To Clear Your Heads Of Dong For The Weekend
Aww, he thinks he's people. Go here for more dong-free sweetness....

Lithuanians Clearly Don't Remember The Last Time A "Blondes Only" Society Was Pursued
A Lithuanian company — the name of which is pronounced Ooh La La — has big plans. Specifically, they're trying to open a vacation resort in the Maldives at which the workers are all blonde....

The New Internet-Friendly OK Go Music Video Is Here
Viral (music) video makers OK Go are back with another video. Gone are the treadmills and creative use of green screens, in are cup-stacking and a bunch of highly trained super dogs. It's better than "November Rain's" video, I guess....

Spurs Spank Young Boys 4-0
(Although one of The Spoiler's favourite was a piece of subtle brilliance from Sky Sports' Bill Leslie: "Young Boys struggle to keep clean sheets.")...

All The News That's Fit To Analogize Ridiculously To Food
Your food metaphor of the day, courtesy The New York Times: "We all know the cliché that a prosecuting attorney can persuade a grand jury to indict a ham sandwich, but Clemens — and Barry Bonds, with his trial scheduled for next March — are not mere ham sandwiches but rather the prime beef of baseba...

Today In Things Making You Fatter: Baseball
Shocking news out of the halls of SI today: all-you-can-eat deals at baseball games are extremely unhealthy, and teams might have some ethical obligation to stop such promotions. To the pull-quotes!...

Deadspin Classic: There's More Than One Way To Skin A Softball Player
Chances are you'll be playing some softball this weekend. Back in 2007, Leitch stumbled upon the finest college softball media guide the world has ever known....

So We Come To The End Of Ken Griffey Jr.
The Mariners have finally informed Ken Griffey Jr. that he retired from baseball nine months ago. Your lamentations of lost youth just excused themselves to send a wistful email to your yearnings for childlike wonder. [ESPN]...

Watch An Intern Talk About Kobe Bryant On CNN
For some reason, CNN asked me for an interview after all that Kobe Bryant photo-shoot business and the Photoshopping you all did. Here it is. I am at your mercy. At least the CNN folks let me wear a shirt. [CNN.com]...

Today In Hilarious Baseball Stat-Geek Mockery: Dan Shaughnessy And Pudding
Ladies and germs, I give you Dan Shaughnessy, from his aforementioned Globe column:...

Update: ABC Lawyers Are Freaking Out Because <em>Lost</em> Call Sheet Has "Elements Of Truth"
Well that's unfortunate. I guess this call sheet a reader sent us actually contains spoilers or something. [Gawker]...

MMA's War Machine Busts Up Bar, Spits On Cops
Take a heavily tattooed MMA-fighter-cum-porn-actor, who legally changed his name to "War Machine," and it's a surprise we're reporting on his bar brawl instead of reporting on when he doesn't start one....

Today In Hilarious Baseball Stat Acronym Humor
Ladies and germs, I give you Jerry Thornton of WEEI....

A Portrait Of The Editor As A Young Man
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Today In Hilarious Baseball Stat Acronym Humor
Ron Borges, ladies and germs, on UZR: "I thought those were the initials of a former Russian state only to learn it means Ultimate Zone Rating." [Boston Herald]...

The Best Taunt You'll See All Week
The Hartford goalie warms up for the shootout by doing cartwheels (20-second mark); Stony Brook's shooter doesn't appreciate that. Let's see what happens next....

God Bless Ronan Tynan’s Anti-Semitism
If you're heading to Yankee Stadium for Game 1 of the ALCS tonight, you can forget about hearing Ronan Tynan sing "God Bless America" during the seventh inning. Know why? Because he hates Jews! WOOHOO!...

We've Sighted The Elusive Hardcore Jags Fan
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

The End Is At The Beginning
The day started with creatively shaved dudes and that's how the day shall end. This is Andrew from Temple University, who submitted his own picture because Miami's unchecked hairy chested ACC aggression will not stand....

Hair Boy and Copper Girl Fight For Airtime Supremacy
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....