heres Page 3 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

How To Get A Woman To Start Thinking Divorce At Her Wedding
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Michael Phelps Loves Chewing Tobacco, Loves Threesomes With Strippers
Nobody does news quite like UK's News Of The World and their latest shocking exposé is no exception—a bare-all interview with a Baltimore "dancer" who claims she double-teamed Olympic hero Michael Phelps...

Jeff George Insists He Could Still Play For The Vikings; Vike's Writer Shows Him Reality
"My suggestion is he disconnect his phone... [h]e won't answer the next time a reporter calls to ask if he thinks he should still be playing. It's time for everyone to move on." [ESPN]...

Sports And Porn, Together Again, As It Should Be
It's time for 20 pictures in which sports and porn collide. Now never send any of these to us ever again. Thanks. [Betfair]...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you figure out where the hell Rick Chandler ran off to.... • MLB: New York Yankees at Tampa Bay (7 p.m., EST): The reanimation of Carl Pavano continues as he attempts to win his third game in a row for the Yankees without having one of his body parts fall off on the mound. [ESPN]...

Peyton Manning Finds One More Thing To Endorse
You'd think Peyton Manning would be happy with his Super Bowl ring, numerous lavish endorsement deals, and the adulation of Hindi children everywhere. Not so. Now he wants to win a gold medal, and has prepared a pitch for the unwashed masses. We're unwashed because he's never endorsed soap, you see....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while staying out of the ocean ... • Olympics: Men's volleyball, USA vs. Bulgaria (8 p.m., ET); Beach volleyball, Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh, U.S., vs. Liesbeth Von Breedam and Liesbeth Mouha, Belgium (9 p.m., ET). Due to a leaky roof, the men's game will be played outdoors as w...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you tearfully raise your fist with pride and chant "USA! USA!" ... • Major League Soccer: Houston at Real Salt Lake (10 p.m., ET). How to change the station without using my hands? [ESPN2] • Motor sports: NASCAR Sprint Cup, Coke Zero 400, practice, at Daytona Beach, Fla (4 p.m. and ...

Our Conversation With Buzz Bissinger
For the last few months, since that rather festive "Costas Now" business, we have been loathe to expand much more on our initial reaction. But as Buzz Bissinger has continued to give interviews to the "respectable" media, making his "points," we felt compelled to talk one last time, to wrap this who...

He Calls This Move 'The Spanish Prostate Exam'
For those considering a career in bullfighting, please feel free to use this as your screensaver. One of Spain's big shot matadors was gored not once, but twice; including this most excellent shot by a bull who obviously knows what he's doing. And so Jose "The Balls" Thomas is forced to choose a new...

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

Reports Of Limatime's Demise Greatly Exaggerated
A few weeks ago, it seemed, the world was faced with the sad prospect of bidding farewell to Limatime when reports surfaced out of Korea that he had been released by the Kia Tigers. Mope no longer, lovers of exuberant pitchers with stacked wives, for not only is Limatime born anew with the Tigers, ...

They're Ready to Run For the Roses
The little people are mounting their steeds, which means the most exciting two minutes in sports (setting aside the final two minutes in almost all other highly contested sporting events) can't be far behind. Oh wait, they're playing "My Old(e?) Kentucky Home. This could take a while. Hey, an ex-boy...

Female Athletes Play Fair And Keep Things In Perspective. How I Loathe Them
This occurred Saturday, but women's softball news tends to travel slowly, if at all. In an amazing display of sportsmanship, some Central Washington University players helped a Western Oregon opponent round the bases to complete a home run after the batter had injured her knee. This also once happen...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch when your good friend Iona Knipl comes over ... • Women's college basketball: NCAA Division I tournament championship game, Tennessee vs. Stanford in Tampa (8:30 p.m., ET). I would not like to be in the middle if Tara and Pat get into a brawl. [ESPN] • MLB: Cardinals at Astros (8:05 p....

Bill Belichick Knows Where Lesbians Love
At long last, a prominent pro sports coach has come out of the closet in a nationally- ... wait, what? Sorry. Scratch that. While Bill Belichick is the cover boy for this month's issue of Boston Spirit, the city's premier gay magazine, the mag's publisher points out that his photo was just picked mo...

The Kelvin Sampson Era Is Officially Over
Kelvin Sampson and the University of Indiana have reached an agreement that will pay the coach $750,000 to get the fuck out of Bloomington. The overzealous recruiter has also agreed not to sue the school for wrongful termination. Although the Hoosiers have rid themselves of Sampson they still have a...

About Last Night
What you missed while reading the top 50 children's books of all time ... • College basketball: Volunteers vs. Tigers ... the state of Tennessee can no longer contain the hype, must outsource some to India. • NFL: The end of the Randy Moss Era in New England may be nigh. • NHL: News for the herring ...

All-Star Celeb Game Lacking Game, Celebs
If you missed the NBA All-Star Celebrity Game last night, it's probably because you have a life. Here's a quick recap:...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after getting your tongue unstuck ... • College basketball: Ohio State at Penn State (7 p.m., ET); Tennessee at Alabama (9 p.m., ET). Where's the love for Bruce Pearl? [ESPN] • NHL: Buffalo at Tampa Bay (7 p.m., ET); San Jose at Edmonton (9:30 p.m., ET). These games would be better if ...