hi Page 1985 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Blogdom's Best: Arena League Shenanigans
News and Views From 40-Year Old Virgins ... • Apparently, they pay you enough in the Arena Football League to afford cocaine. Who knew? [Can't Stop The Bleeding] • Mets fans are losing their collective shit. [Faith and Fear in Flushing] • It just looks kind of weird, the White Sox having a magic num...

Communication Breakdown
Taken by Cubs blogger Bleed Cubbie Blue, the above photo is of Dodgers first baseman and fantasy team kryptonite Hee Seop Choi giving hitting advice to Cubs outfielder and even worse fantasy offender Corey Patterson....

Blogdom's Best: Make The Bad Mustached Man Go Away
News And Views From The Disaffected and Bored ... • It has come to this: People are blatantly begging the Orioles to dump Rafael Palmeiro. On anyone. [Camden Chat] • If Cubs fans could actually bury their team under six feet of dirt, you know they totally would. [Bleed Cubbie Blue] • Tennis players ...

To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch Instead Of Endless Hurricane News ... • Monday Night (Exhibition) Football: Rams at Lions. Remember when they wore the yellow sportscoats with the circle on the pockets? We're wearing one now. • MLB: Dodgers at Cubs. Look ... all the Chicago players are vomiting milk. • U.S. Open, Day ...

Jack McKeon Hates Poultry
Everybody loves the San Diego Chicken, right? How do you not love a chicken? Everybody loves chickens!...

All Hail The Fourth Estate
We find it strange that "60 Minutes" second-place curmudgeon Mike Wallace has such a fascination with Dolphins stoner Ricky Williams, but apparently he does: He's in Dolphins camp this week for another round of interviews. Remember when you used to be scared when Mike Wallace came to interview yo...

A Different Kind Of White Sox
Wondering why the White Sox have been playing so poorly lately? It's the panties. Perhaps we should elucidate. Apparently, ChiSox outfielder Timo Perez, to help end a slump, has been hanging "extra-large panties" around the clubhouse in an attempt to pull the team out of its tailspin....

Larry Bowa, Civic Wonder
To combine reality and fantasy for a moment, ESPN analyst Larry Bowa has been named a Distinguished Little League Graduate award. In response, the ever-refined Larry Bowa responded through the great Yard Work:...

To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch While Trying To Get Out Of Painting ... · NFL: Dallas Cowboys at Seattle Seahawks: Enjoy a good quarter of people's names you barely recognize. But hey, John Madden's there. · MLB: Atlanta Braves at Chicago Cubs: It's always annoying when two SuperStation teams play each other. · Littl...

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... · 11 a.m.. MLB With Buster Olney: Come on ... you KNOW who's tested positive, don't you? Just tell us. Come on. You know you want to. · Noon. MLB With Steve Phillips: Aw, man, nobody tells Steve Phillips anything. No point in even asking...

About Last Night ...
What You Missed While Watching The Office Ladies Attack The Copy Machine Repairman ... · Clemens Roughed Up In Loss. We tell you, that guy's too old to pitch. · Phils, Nats Split Huge Doubleheader. Sharing is good, you guys. Don't get greedy. · Bears, Benson Still Far Apart On Contract. The good new...

T.O. Mania Continues To Ensue
This little kid, "Jeremy," claims to be Terrell Owens' biggest fan, but one who is saddened by his current exploits. Still, he's selling T-shirts (of course) that say "F.U.T.O. (For You, T.O.)" on his Web site. We love it when Philly fans get all clever and figure out how to use the computer....

More Native American Mascot Babble
As graduates of the University of Illinois at its endless debates about the merits/racism of its Chief Illiniwek, we will confess complete exhuastion when it comes to Native American mascots/symbols. We don't really care what they do, we just want them to do it and stop talking about it. Sorry. I...

Kicker Punches Out Bouncer, Nailed With <em>Felony</em>
It's not every day an NFL kicker is charged with a felony that doesn't involve the date-rape drug, but hey, these are heady times. Chiefs booter Lawrence Tynes was arrested yesterday for breaking the nose of a bouncer in a bar fight. That's impressive, not just because we didn't know kickers knew...

About Last Night ...
What You Missed While "Reorganizing Your Sock Drawer," If you Know What We Mean (Which We Don't)... · Phillies tie for wild-card lead. Ryan Howard immediately organizes holdout. · Padres storm to under .500 division lead. The pennant will be a white flag. · Mourning Returns To Heat. Funny; we have a...

Leftovers: Those Dead Twins
· Twins pretty much toast this year. Fans of vanilla baseball cry, everyone else does the wave. [ESPN] · Dorky Northwestern grad handicaps the Big Ten. [Si.com] · Eagles write T.O. a "very strongly worded letter." Take that. [Philly.com]...

Bill Simmons' Continued Blind Spot
We're sorry to pick on him — really! — but we feel obliged to point out that in his new More Cowbell column, which looks at the American League MVP race, our boy Bill says the National League race — a league that Simmons full confesses to "knowing nothing about" — "can be summed up in one word: P...

A Quiet Crowd
That's not a picture of the newest publicity attempt by the Arizona Cardinals to make their games look better on television. It's actually a photo from the set of the new Mark Wahlberg movie Invincible, about a bartender named Vince Papale who wins a spot on the Philadelphia Eagles. (He caught on...

In Other News, Mel Gibson Will Be Negotiating The Gaza Resettlement
We know this was a few days ago, but we just can't help ourselves: Rush Limbaugh wants to help Eagles combatants Donovan McNabb and Terrell Owens get together....

Why, No, That's Not A Crowbar In My Jersey
Now, we're not saying that high school football players are inherently cretins or Neanderthals or anything, but when your team photo has pictures of meaty dudes carrying battleaxes and crowbars, well, there's maybe a reason the guys from the A/V Club haven't been seen in a few weeks....