house Page 16 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Who's Got Next At The White House?
Did you know Barack Obama plays basketball? I certainly didn't. Word on the street, though, is that he's all about playing a little pick-up ball every now and voting day....

"No Sign Of Any Spirits" In This Milwaukee Hotel
"A player for the Dodgers has been known to sleep with a baseball bat for protection after hearing odd noises. And two pairs of Florida Marlins players reportedly demand to share a room... because they're afraid of ghosts." Sure, blame your losses to the Brewers on a haunted hotel. [WISN]...

Pirates Tour White House, For Some Reason; Skipper Pulls A Reverse Harrison
"Pirates' manager John Russell skipped the tour saying he'd rather visit when he has a World Series ring on his finger." [KDKA]...

James Harrison Snubs Obama, America
The Steelers' Silverback linebacker has caused many sports fans and journalists to gasp and mutter "you dumb bastard" under their breath after he scoffed at the White House invite....

Kobe Bryant's Maid Was Not A Fan Of All The Dog Crap
A housekeeper is suing Kobe Bryant and his wife, Vanessa, on the grounds that the missus is a raving lunatic taskmaster that would make Cinderellla's stepmother look like a compassionate boss....

Will Najeh Davenport's Hamper-Pooping Hijinks Hurt His Modeling Career?
I totally missed this on Friday, but Najeh Davenport's days as an NFL running back are seemingly over and he's now looking to start a new career as a professional model. Fantastic....

Muhsin Muhammad's House For Sale On eBay
For $1.9 million, you can own Muhammad's 6-bedroom house in south Charlotte. Panther. Swipe. [Charlotte Observer]...

Meet Your New Fanhouse Columnist ... Jay Mariotti
Starting Monday, Fanhouse will add ex-Chicago Sun-Times columnist and venerable Around The Horn noisemaker Jay Mariotti to its stable of writers. Fun for the whole family....

Putridity Poll: J.T. O'Sullivan vs. Ryan Fitzpatrick in Battle of the Foul QBs
Filed under: 49ers, Bengals, NFL Fans...

Every Play Counts: Colts QB Peyton Manning Lights Up the Ravens
Filed under: Colts...

It's Always Nice To Win Something
The Bleacher Report's Sarah Horne has pulled together a list of the "Top 10 Sports Websites For Sports Trolls", where troll is defined as "a malicious malcontent who roams the internet and does drive-by comments, argues with no logic, and hurls insults out of jealousy or stupidity." Got it. Anyway, ...

Shocker: Fred Smoot's Minnesota House in Disrepair; Not Selling
Smoot, of course, is now a Washington Redskin. This means his former 5,812 square foot home in Eden Prairie, Minnesota is up for sale. The home is now listed at $849,000 which is down from an initial listing price of $1.2 million. Thanks to an email tip from a reader, we now know that the neighbors...

Diseased Poon Not Good For Fellow Olympians
Mama always said bad poon could spread diseases. According to sources, Canadian swimmer Victoria Poon has come down with chicken pox and is now being quarantined at a hospital in Beijing. Commence poon jokes....now....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you tearfully raise your fist with pride and chant "USA! USA!" ... • Major League Soccer: Houston at Real Salt Lake (10 p.m., ET). How to change the station without using my hands? [ESPN2] • Motor sports: NASCAR Sprint Cup, Coke Zero 400, practice, at Daytona Beach, Fla (4 p.m. and ...

Lenny Dykstra's Mansion Is Up For Grabs
In the market for a new place? Lenny Dykstra is selling his $25 million home (marked down from $27.5 million due to various chewing tobacco stains on the furniture and carpets). Presumably he's getting rid of the palatial estate on the Sherwood Country Club in LA because it's too big for he and his ...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while trying to forget this little bit of nightmare fuel (I suggest trying some of this stuff)... • CWS: Fresno State vs. UNC, loser goes home (unless Fresno wins). [ESPN] • Olympics: U.S. Olympic Trials, Women's Gymnastics. Try not to stare, it's rude and creepy. [NBC] • Boxing: See b...

A Thoughtful, Critical Analysis On Jiggling Breasts And Overeating
Excuse the blatant self-promotion for a minute, but it's Friday, and it's always important to celebrate high points in one's career. That is why I am posting an article I wrote for this month's Penthouse magazine about last year's venerable Philadelphia gorge-puke-and-boobfest, "Wing Bowl."...

The Deadspin Editor Search Continues
So, several people have asked why I've been silent on Will's announced departure from Deadspin (if my mailman can be considered "several people"). Well, it's simple. I maintain that he's not leaving. You see, it's all an elaborate hoax, perpetrated by the same folks who faked the moon landing and bu...

Things That Draw In Denver When Attendance Is Dead
As you may or may not know (probably the latter) the Denver Nuggets and Colorado Avalanche aren't doing so well from a financial standpoint. Hell, the Broncos have already begun downsizing. For some reason the city of Denver isn't stuffing enough cash into the coffers of their pro franchises. Of cou...

We Are Now Invading Your Porn
This arrived in our mailbox yesterday. (Via what the kids are calling "snail mail.") We had no idea it was coming. On newsstands now....