houston Page 85 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Non-Retired Guy Comes Out Of Non-Retirement To Non-Retire
Our long national nightmare is over: Roger Clemens is back. How did we ever make it so long without him? His "return," obviously, would have a little more resonance if he had, you know, ever left, but whatever. He's back. Playing the Twins. We hope Bat Girl comes up with a Lego version of him....

Roger Clemens! Pitching! It's Like He Never Retired!
Well, it's a big night in Lexington; Roger Clemens is coming to town, to pitch with his son Koby at third base. It's the first of three minor league stints for Roger, all of which, of course, have a definitive financial incentive for Roger Clemens. (The other two games are for teams Clemens partia...

Clemens Decides To Stay In Houston, Yep
Credit Newsday's Ken Davidoff with the big scoop: Roger Clemens is signing with the Houston Astros....

When You're Talking Sex, You're Talking Enron Field
On Sunday, the Houston Astros shutout the Texas Rangers 5-0 in Houston, securing a series win over their in-state rivals. To celebrate, a Houston policeman at the game decided to have sex with two women. Makes sense!...

The Closer: Fear The Awesome Hitting Might Of Mark Mulder
Notes from a day of baseball. • 1. Mulder Gets A Little Raucous During Housewarming Party. When they said that the new Busch Stadium would be a pitcher's ballpark, we didn't know they meant it this way. Cardinals starter Mark Mulder clubbed his first career home run on Monday, right over the new H...

Roger Clemens' Multinational Laundry
Yesterday, perpetual retiree Roger Clemens was in Houston to receive his National League Championship Ring. As usual, Clemens was asked about his plans for this season, whether he'll retire, whether he'll play, who he would play for, so on, ad nauseum. But then the conversation took a bizarre, and...

Your NL Central "Preview"
Our personal favorite division has had a monotonous feel to it the last few years, with the Cardinals and the Astros advancing and meeting in the NLCS two consecutive times. (This, of course, is fine with us.) We also have a feeling that the NL Central is the only division in baseball with three ...

Roger Clemens Retires! Really! (OK, Not Really)
So, here we go: Roger Clemens is retiring again. Probably. Yeah, totally. But who knows?...

Roger Even Throws At Unborn Sons
As an update on the Roger Clemens item from earlier, an eagle-eyed reader points out that this is hardly the first time Roger has not hesitated to give the high hard one (so to speak) to a family member....

Roger Clemens Grounds His Son
We kind of like that final scene in The Natural, where Roy Hobbs is playing catch with his son in a wheat field. But when the subject is Roger Clemens playing baseball with his son, a couple of other films come to mind. • The Great Santini. Dad: Robert Duvall. Son: Michael O'Keefe. Quote: "You go...

Is Baseball's Top Shoulder Doc OK?
Buried in a Houston Chronicle story about Jeff Bagwell's rehab of his right shoulder was this disturbing tidbit:...

Roy Oswalt, Ditch Digger
The night Roy Oswalt dominated the Cardinals and took a metaphorical bulldozer to Busch Stadium. Apparently, that night, Astros owner Drayton McLane promised he would, if he beat the Cardinals, buy Oswalt a Caterpillar D6N XL bulldozer. Well, Oswalt, as you might remember, kicked ass that night....

NFL Roundup: "I Disagree With Your Decision And Shall Protest Thusly"
• It's funny, because if you remember when Guenther Cunningham actually coached the Chiefs, you'd understand that here, he's just giving his unique signal to go for two. • It's like the Chargers suddenly remembered that Marty Schottenheimer's their coach. • Anybody see the new ESPN magazine? (Anyb...

NFL Roundup: Lovie's Kind Of Town
• So here's something crazy: With a break or two, the Chicago Bears could have playoff home-field advantage in the NFC. Still, whether they win the Super Bowl or not, "Ditka" is always going to sound cooler than "Lovie." • We're really starting to maybe think that Chesnning might really lead the C...

Blogdom's Best: Houston Texans
It might not — yet — have the online fanaticism and cachet of baseball, but the NFL and its fans are starting to catch up in the world of team-devoted blogs. To this end, Deadspin salutes these modem-addled souls and proudly presents Blogdom's Best, given to the most outstanding blog for each NFL ...

White Sox Fans Cheer Phantom Series
Would it be fair to call this year's World Series the "Quite Frankly" of postseason series? The just-complete White Sox whitewashing of the Astros, turns out, was the worst-rating Series of all time, just beating out the Angels-Giants Series of 2002, a Series that had the advantage of going seven ...

The Link Between DeBerry, The Astros And Dubya
Fascinating column on the addictive, compelling site Black Athlete Sports Network comparing the situation involving Air Force coach Fisher DeBerry's comments on black athletes and the Astros' dubious distinction of being the first team since the 1956 Yankees to make the World Series without a sing...

Your World Champion Chicago White Sox
Well, huge congratulations to the Chicago White Sox, winners of the World Series, a sentence that makes us feel crazy just to type it. People — including a few people already on our comment boards — may say that the White Sox caught all the breaks and only won close games, including last night, bu...

Can The White Sox Become All-Time Greats?
Well, as Fear And Faith In Flushing sadly put it yesterday, we've reached that depressing point when we realize the baseball season is almost over. The White Sox could win their first World Series since before the Red Sox began all their suffering, and the Astros, as pretty much headline writer in...