i Page 5909 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Man In Mike Vick Jersey Hauls Ass To Rob Children Of Home Run Ball
Jurickson Profar hit a monstrous home run to the grassy knoll in right-center field during the Rangers game against the Padres this afternoon. Many families were enjoying a little picnic while watching a ballgame on that knoll and thought for a split second, hey, we might get a souvenir! But then Br...
This Was Just The Saddest Burger King Burglary
Philadelphia police are seeking information on the two men in this video, who allegedly broke into a Burger King last month. They should be considered drunk and extremely incompetent....
The Cleats Everyone Will Wear At The World Cup Seem To Fucking Suck
So our staff illustrator was perusing the sneaker blogs today when he happened upon this neon-yellow/afterbirth abomination: the Nike Magista. These bad boys were first unveiled to the world today in Barcelona, and they're fucking fugly. That's fine; shoes don't have souls and they don't have mirror...
Frank Martin To Player: "Answer The Fucking Question, Asshole!"
Frank Martin, the scariest college basketball coach in the world, has been suspended for one game by the University of South Carolina after being caught cursing out one of his own players during Tuesday's game against Florida. ...
Wolves Fan Gets Upside-Down Apology Letter After Jersey Screw-Up
Yesterday, Wolverhampton fan Richard Gough received his new shirt and noticed something a bit off:...
Tiny Person Tim Lincecum And Large Person Kameron Loe Traded Uniforms
Here's some fun spring training shenanigans courtesy of the San Francisco Giants, who understand that people wearing comically ill-fitting clothes is always funny. Tim Lincecum, who is just 5-foot-11, traded uniforms with Kameron Loe, who is 6-foot-8. Much fun was had....
Ted Valentine Won't Help Marshall Henderson Off The Court
After baiting Mick Cronin into an even more childish meltdown than he was already having against UConn last weekend, referee Ted Valentine is back on the radar because he refused to help Marshall Henderson up off the court against Arkansas last night. Valentine couldn't help because was too busy cal...
The Marlins Are "Outraged" Over The Red Sox's Spring Training Lineup
The Marlins are reportedly quite pissed that the Red Sox fielded barely any major leaguers for today's spring training matchup. I will get this out of the way so you needn't bother: Marlins fans are quite pissed that the Marlins field barely any major leaguers during the regular season....
Getting Ready For MLS? Allow Us To Convince You Otherwise
It's about that time of the year again! Timber Joey is gassing up his chainsaw, Thierry Henry is stretching those creaking joints, and Michael Bradley is getting ready to lace up his boots, the prodigal son back on (well, North) American soil after so many years away. Yep, Major League Soccer, the l...
Eli Manning Awkwardly Grooves On Stage With Better Than Ezra
Eli Manning hopped on stage at a recent Better Than Ezra show, and he quickly found himself facing the same problem that every person in human history who's ever been on stage with a band has faced: he had no damn idea what to do with his hands....
NFL Won't Chip In On A $100 Million Football Brain Study At Harvard
According to Outside the Lines, a $100 million grant to fund a Harvard study that would take a long-term look at CTE and brain trauma in former players has been changed into, essentially, an NFL contract. ...
Now Paralympians Are Getting Stuck In Sochi Bathrooms
The Sochi accommodations are equal opportunity nuisances. The Paralympics kick off tomorrow, and already Team USA sled hockey goalie Steve Cash has received the traditional Sochi welcome:...
We're The Staff Of Deadspin. Any Questions For Us?
We're down in the discussion. Let's share our feelings....
The NHL's Horseshit Deal With The Devils
Back in 2010, the Devils signed Ilya Kovalchuk to a frontloaded 17-year contract. It was an obvious attempt to clear cap space by sticking cheap, never-intended-to-be-honored seasons on the back end, and the NHL responded swiftly, voiding the deal and fining the Devils $3 million and first- and thir...
Missing A Beat: Library Of America's Story Of The Week
The LOA's story of the week comes from the great Seymour Krim. Check it out and then g'head and pick up the fine LOA collection, The Cool School. ...
Bill Simmons's Dad Helped Recruit Nate Silver To ESPN
Time.com's Jack Dickey, writing for Time, has a profile of Nate Silver, the data maven who will be bringing his number-crunching digital publication, FiveThirtyEight, to ESPN later this month. There's plenty of good stuff in there (for subscribers) about ESPN's courtship of Silver. ...
Fan Leans In For The Kiss; Víctor Bernárdez Is Having None Of It
Hey Muma, do you think I could get a picture? [purses lips, leans in] Too...too far? Too far. ...
Pat Sajak: Not A Fan Of The New Cubs Mascot
A contestant on last night's episode of Wheel Of Fortune professed her love for Chicago sports, namely the Bulls and Bears. She is, to a lesser extent, also a fan of the White Sox rather than the Cubs. This pleases Pat Sajak, who is just as confused by the new mascot as the rest of us. ...