ill Page 619 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Curt Schilling Is Always In Code Orange When It Comes To Autograph Hounds
"This is a poor analogy, but it's like terrorism. If autograph dealers want to get in, they will...[p]eople who have no interest in me and want me to just sign some things so they can sell them." [ESPN]...
Boink Like A Champion Today: Condom Shortage In Vancouver
Vancouver's Olympic Village is short on condoms and an emergency supply has been shipped to the sex-crazed colony to ensure that each and every athlete is safe from STDs throughout the rest of their stay....
No Early Termination For Ozzie, Reinsdorf
Happy 74th birthday, Jerry Reinsdorf! What do you have to say to him, Ozzie? "As soon as he dies, I'll get the fuck out." And he didn't even need Twitter to say it! [Sun-Times]...
The Canadian Woman, Seen Here In Her Natural Habitat
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Great Moments In Public Urination Journalism
Villanova's junior guard Corey Stokes got busted for peeing in public, occasioning this line: "Stokes was urinating between two parked cars at about 3 a.m. while surrounded by several teammates." Jay Wright should be proud. That's real teamwork. [ZagsBlog]...
Arrested Bobsledder Has Colorful, Checkered Past
American bobsledder Bill Schuffenhauer was arrested, after allegedly assaulting his fiancée. It's another sad episode in the life of a man who always seems to find trouble....
Ozzie Guillen's Twitter Is Spectacular, Controversial
Twitter was invented for people like Ozzie, whose brains are relatively unfiltered in the first place. And while he hasn't done anything wrong yet, White Sox management are understandably nervous....
Darrent Williams Trial Might Explain A Lot About Brandon Marshall
The murder trial of the man accused of shooting Denver Bronco Darrent Williams began yesterday and has already revealed new details of the night of his death—including some that might explain why Brandon Marshall hates Denver so much....
I Do Not Believe Hillary Duff Is Actually Giving Mike Comrie A Blowjob In This Photo
But it looks like she is. Comrie reportedly spent $1 million on Duff's ring. He did not go to Jared. [BarstoolSports, Jr. and Bauer Griffin]...
Lionel Hollins Would Like To Give A Hand. A Terrifying, Terrifying Hand.
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Facial Hair Most Pressing Issue In NL Champs Camp
Jayson Werth's beard has been the talk of Phillies spring training. Because this is clearly more important than a lack of a bullpen, there's already an official site for photoshops. [Jayson Werth Beards]...
NBC To West Coast Hockey Fans: "Kiss Our Moose!"
Ready for some fresh NBC outrage? Just wait until tomorrow, when Oregon discovers that the broadcast for USA Hockey's quarterfinal doesn't start until three hours after the actual game does. I understand hockey really comes to life on the radio....
Here's John Daly In His Underwear, Because I Hate You
Might Daly have a post-golf career as an underwear model lined up? One thing's for certain: Daly had better have a post-golf career lined up....
The One With The Naked Danish Curling Lady
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....
Last Night's Winner: British Skeletoners
In sports, everyone is a winner- some people just win better than others. Like Amy Williams, whose gold in skeleton summarily refuted two British stereotypes - that they suck at the Winter Olympics, and that they don't have purty teeth....
Less Work For Medevac Pilots In Vancouver
They're shortening the women's downhill course to reduce speeds, and minimizing a tricky portion near the end. And no one even had to die! Progress, people, progress. [Cleveland Plain Dealer]...
StarCaps Case Takes Heller-esque Turn
A judge says that for Kevin and Pat Williams's cases to proceed, they have to prove they are employed by the NFL, while the league maintains they are solely Vikings employees. Does Deadspin LLP care to weigh in? [Star Tribune]...
Comcast Goes From Inane To Inaccurate
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
This Moment In Things NBC Will Later Pretend You Didn't Already Know: Lindsey Vonn Wins Gold
Vonn took the Jarlsberg off her injured shin long enough to claim gold in women's downhill. Teammate Julia Mancuso finished second. (But shhhh, don't tell anyone.) [Reuters]...
Predictably, Bill Plaschke Has Something Stupid To Say About Lindsey Jacobellis
Well, this was probably the most inevitable column of the Olympics: Bill Plaschke, harshing Lindsey Jacobellis's mellow....