ill Page 623 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Most NBA Fans Still Don't Know How To React When There's a Transsexual On The TEE-VEE
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Poise To Men
Mark Sanchez went 12-for-15 and threw for 182 yards in his first playoff victory, and because at no point during the game did he chuck the ball into the Ohio or crap himself, he was deemed a model of poise....

South Florida Player No Longer Lying About Jim Leavitt's Lies
USF's Joel Miller says he and former coach Jim Leavitt met in a church parking lot in order to get their stories straight to investigators about how Leavitt didn't slap him (even though he totally did.) [Fanhouse]...

Five Offensively Stupid Reactions To Mark McGwire's Steroid Admission
Would the following people kindly shut the hell up about Mark McGwire?...

Former Late Night Talk Show Writer Reveals Insider News About Conan O'Brien
"ESPN columnist Bill Simmons tweeted earlier this morning, "FYI: Next week is Conan's final week hosting the Tonight Show. His staff is trying to book big guests so he goes out with a bang. It's true." [MSNBC]...

BREAKING: Rick Reilly® Writes Decent, Heartfelt Column
It's about his friend, the late Mike Penner/Christine Daniels: "My wife, Cynthia, became her gender tour guide. ... Where to buy shoes online, what the new hormone pills would do to her, the trick of lingerie." [ESPN The Periodical]...

The Astros Are Confident Brett Myers Won't Punch His Wife In The Face Anymore
"We did our due diligence, we talked to the Phillies, we talked to Brett and we're satisfied that this is not going to be an ongoing problem." [Philly.com]...

Rutgers Basketball Is Frying Up A "Steak Of Turmoil"
Former Scarlet Knight J.R. Inman played three years for Rutgers coach Fred Hill, but recently published a long Facebook diatribe where he advocated a strong pro-"punching Fred Hill in the face" stance. Why so much hate?...

Today In Poor Photo Choices
Curse you, Huffington Post, for having a sense of humor about Jermaine Phillips's spousal abuse arrest. Or maybe the person in charge of selecting a picture just felt pressured for time and...choked. [HuffPo]...

Here Lie The New England Patriots: 2001-2010
After their humiliating beatdown on Sunday, you might be tempted to look back on Sunday as the day the New England Patriots' dynasty died. You are definitely not alone....

Jayson Williams Pleads Guilty To Shooting
Jayson Williams, Troubled Former Athlete, showed up in court today to plead guilty—for real this time—to aggravated assault for accidentally shooting his chauffeur. That, plus about 18 months in prison, will end his legal ordeal....

Marshawn Lynch Is All About The Jacksons
We thought quiet little Buffalo would be good for the troubled Lynch. We thought wrong, as the RB couldn't avoid the criminal breeding grounds of the T.G.I. Friday's at the mall, where he's accused of stealing $20 from a woman....

Tommy Tuberville Gets The Keys To The Texas Tech Shed
Tuberville, late of Auburn, is Mike Leach's replacement at Texas Tech, according to Ivan Maisel's sewing circle. A press conference is scheduled for tomorrow. [ESPN]...

Rick Reilly®, Glimpsed In The Wild
Mildly terrifying Deadspin I-Team operative Alex captured the ESPN LOLumnist as he foraged in the lower bowl of Denver's Pepsi Center. Note the distinctive outerwear. "Would have been better if it was a vindaloo and a southern cross," Alex writes....

Chin Blossoms: Buffalonians Begin The Cowher Chase In Earnest
Raiders, Bengals and Bears fans have all purchased billboards calling for their teams to clean house in the front office. But those are angry, angry cities. The salt-of-the-earth folk in Upstate New York prefer more constructive advice on their roadsides....

Presenting The Absolute Worst Hall Of Fame Voter (Update)
In all the foofaraw over the HOF elections, one voter stands above the rest in terms of sheer ineptitude and self-promotion. Let's ridicule them! But first, the runners up:...

Patriots Workers Stopped In Immigration Sting
Gillette Stadium hired dozens of workers to shovel snow from the field, and apparently had them sent in from Guatemala, by way of Rhode Island....

A Breakdown Of Sports Stars' Chances On "The Apprentice"
Some big names will be joining Donald Trump in the boardroom, and Deadspin isn't afraid to get service-y and give you the lowdown on which of the former athletic legends might show some acumen for entrepreneurship....

Jayson Williams Probably Shouldn't Leave The House
The former Nets center, who is free on bail awaiting a new trial stemming from that messy dead limo driver situation, was accused of drunkenly driving his SUV into a tree last night around 3:15 a.m by (karma) police. [NYP]...

Masochist USC Punishes Self For Mayo Shenanigans
Ah, January, when the talk turns from NCAA football sanctions to NCAA basketball sanctions. First up: USC. It's as predictable as the changing of the seasons....