ill Page 627 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Uga VII Is Dead. Long Live Uga VIII
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Maurice Jones-Drew To Miss Fantasy Playoffs Because Of His Brilliant Play
Are you one of the 10,000 (ESPN) fantasy GMs who lost because MJD took a knee rather than score a touchdown? Well, so is he. But remember, he had 145 yards and a TD anyway, so quit bitching. [ESPN]...

Put On Your Whitest Whites: It's Klan Night In Oxford!
Booted from his fraternity, Michael Hudec will finally have an organization on campus that cottons to his beliefs. That's right: the KKK is coming to Ole Miss....

In Blackout Roulette, Jags To Bet It All On...Teal?
Sixteen years ago, one grassroots organization brought the Jaguars to Jacksonville. Now they're back, doing everything they can to keep them there. (Note: "everything they can" appears limited to coupons for nachos and soda at one game.)...

Jayson Williams Saga May Finally Be Over
According to the AP, Jayson Williams (yes, that one) has accepted a plea deal that will send him to jail for at least 18 months for the accidental shooting of Costas Christofi in 2002....

Who Had Dick Jauron In Their Pool?
Now that guy got canned! The Bills owner said he fired his head coach today, because "nothing ever seemed to go right." That is very perceptive, Ralph. [Buffalo News]...

Farm Poise
At last, we have someone to fill the void left by Mark Sanchez roughly seven interceptions ago. Meet James Vandenberg, Iowa's starting quarterback and America's new avatar of poise....

Jenn Sterger's Post-Op Recovery Documented Via Twitter
Will Carroll, America's most prominent Injury Expert, became her Nightingale last weekend after her surgery. Not a euphemism. [InjuryExpert]...

ESPN Horndoggery Classic: Bill Creasy
The NY Post revealed some more of Bristol's unseemly history last Friday with a brief item about a 2004 harassment suit filed against ESPN's first president of programming, 74-year-old Bill Creasy. Here is the complaint, brimming with old man creepiness....

Belichick Was Right
I enjoy a national shanking of Bill Belichick as much as anyone, but I'm with Neon here: Belichick, who has won three Super Bowls treating football the way an actuary treats a term life policy, made the smart call yesterday....

Crazy Old Man Gives Bills The Bird
Unfortunately, that grumpy coot just happens to be the owner of the Tennessee Titans and his affinity for the ol' double deuce is now immortalized on YouTube. If you have hands, feel free to nervously wring them....

Peyton Manning Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like Peyton Manning, who won the weekend when it was gift-wrapped with a pretty bow and handed to him by Bill Belichick....

Michael Hudec: Idiot Now, Idiot Tomorrow, Idiot Forever
An Ole Miss frat has suspended two of its members — one of whom was probably Michael Hudec, noted expert on Southern iconography in post-Reconstruction Mississippi — and now no one will ever be racist again, the end. [Daily Mississippian]...

No One Films The Belichick In Failure
The NFL Films cameraman gets taken down hard by one of the Dark Lord's minions (or his camera's cable), and Bill bids him a fond farewell. (Bonus animated gif, after the jump!)...

The Louts Will Rise Again
This swaying stereotype called Michael, apparently an Ole Miss frat creature, has some thoughts on that controversial "South will rise again" chant. It takes him precisely 10 seconds to say the magic phrase. Hint: It's not pro scientia et sapientia....

The One Where The Texas Rangers Inform Us Their Six-Shooters Are Not Whores
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....

Bill Self Has A Discerning Eye For Talent, Ass
Self, on former Kansas big man Darnell Jackson: "I recruited Darnell because I liked his smile and he had a nice butt, to be honest with you." [KUsports.com, h/t Ryan C.]...

You Are Not The Cosmos: A Review Of Bill Simmons's <em>Book Of Basketball</em>
You've read Will Leitch's essay about the Sports Guy. Now here's Charles P. Pierce, sportswriter and author, with a somewhat different take. UPDATE: A year later, Simmons responded to this review by scrubbing two mentions of Pierce from the paperback edition. More here....

Brooke Hundley Speaks About "Horrific" Steve Phillips Affair
Good Morning America scored the big "get" in the Steve Phillips saga by landing the first interview with "mistress" Brooke Hundley—an interview that wants to be sympathetic, but mostly focuses in on the pathetic....

The Night They Drove The Dickheads Down
Ole Miss' band will stop playing one of the school's fight songs because some history-minded folk insisted on chanting "The South will rise again!" at the end. (Rise from what, exactly? Explosive population growth?) [Commercial Appeal]...