ill Page 766 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Bill Simmons Brings It All Back Home
Well, we know why Our Boy Bill Simmons was sans column all week; he was saving it for his new NFL column, which clocks in at a frighteningly healthy 3,200 words. It's the usual Simmons fare; we get guest appearances by The Godfather, Andrew McCarthy and MTV's "Cribs."...

Do Not Spam Ozzie Guillen
In case you missed it from Sports Illustrated earlier this year — or its reprinting in the Chicago Daily Southtown — Chicago White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen has a publicly available email account: OzzieGuillen13@ hotmail.com. Now that the White Sox are in danger of a historic collapse, he says he'...

Jay Mohr: Comedy's Skip Bayless
We'll admit it: We don't really understand those columns that failed movie star/failed TV star/failed game show host Jay Mohr is writing for SI.com. They're not funny, but they're not really incisive about sports either; they just kind of hang out there, like a faded balloon (or a Marge Schott bre...

Rickey's Gonna Do What Rickey's Gonna Do
Great, great, great news: Rickey Henderson could finally make it back to the majors. It might not necessarily be in the way we'd prefer — we'd like to see Rickey a top some sort of wild animal, an elephant or giraffe maybe, as the United Nations holds a special session up in a skybox in his honor;...

Just A Bunch Of Nerds, Debating Nerdom
We're big fans of Fire Joe Morgan's weekly deconstructions of ESPN analyst Joe Morgan's chats on ESPN.com — even if the chats of late, in the words of Fire Joe Morgan itself, have had "entirely un-Morgan-like reason and coherence" — and, to have some fun themselves, the folks at St. Louis Cardinals ...

Flashback: Rob Neyer's Dark Days Of Amazon
All this talk about Amazon reader reviews got us to remembering one of our favorite ESPN.com snafus: Rob Neyer's infamous angry Amazon review. If you've forgotten, or if you never knew, Neyer — whose uncomfortably confessional book Feeding The Green Monster proved once and for all that stat guys sho...

Combing Through Simmons Reviews
We are about a week and a half away from the release of Bill Simmons' Now I Can Die In Peace — that's an appended title; Bill can't even resist a lengthy footnote in his book's name — and most of the big periodical reviews aren't out yet. (Our Nexis isn't working right, so we can't check the publish...

Donovan McNabb, White Quarterback
We're not Professional Sports Columnists, but we'd have to say, just to keep our noses clean, the last thing we'd mention when discussing Eagles QB Donovan McNabb would be race. We'd mention his hairline, his goatee, even his ridiculous commercials, but race? That's OK, thanks, we'll be over here ...

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 1 p.m. MLB with Steve Phillips: OK, seriously, the Mets front office is missing about 17 staplers. What in the world could you be doing with them? • 1:30 p.m. Louisville DE Elvis Dumervil: We somehow doubt that you're going to make it ...

The Minimum Wage Of The Newark Bears
We've had a grand time this morning flipping through the newest issue of New York magazine and its Salary Issue. Essentially, it looks at all different fields and examines how salaries compare to each other, and sports is one of its most entertaining entires. We have our doubts about a few of the ...

Mike Wallace's Dogged Pursuit For Truth
We will confess confusion about "60 Minutes" decaying muckraker Mike Wallace's strange obsession with Dolphins running back Ricky Williams. After his infamous interview last year — in which Wallace all but asked Ricky where he could score some good weed — last night's revisit with Williams consist...

NFL Roundup: Daunte's Blues
• If you somehow were able to make an emotionless, painless robot clone of Bea Arthur, and you pounded that clone in the face with a polo mallet for 25 minutes, then slammed that head in a car door 15 times, then severed the head with an exceptionally long and sharp toenail, then put the head in a...

WNBA Finals Controversy Debated In Empty Chat Room
We're not really going to join the growing chorus of anti-WNBA voices (or even the exact Xerox of choruses of anti-WNBA voices, just a few days later); we're not huge fans of the WNBA, but we're not huge fans of the MLS either, and you don't see us piling on them. That said, we actually watched so...

Bill Simmons' New Book: By The Numbers
Well, we are proud to report that our copy of Bill Simmons' Now I Can Die In Peace arrived at Deadspin World Headquarters last week, and, as tends to be the case with Simmons' writing, it went down smooth and quick. It took pretty much two days to read, and we read slow....

Blogdome: Ripping Favre
• So, hey, now that we think about it ... Brett Favre was kind of a dick to Javon Walker. [Sports Frog] • Hot new hockey site launching later today, by tapped-in anonymous blogger. Hey, it's a growth industry; hockey can't get any less popular. [HockeyBuzz] • Ryan Howard is the Dontrelle Willis of h...

Borscht Belt "Comedy" From SI
Now, we're not gonna make a habit out of this or anything, and honestly, we really don't want any trouble, but we can't let the day end without commenting on the newest column from Sports Illustrated's Steve Rushin. Now, we don't know Steve personally, and we're sure he has his virtues. He seems lik...

Leftovers: P.S., I Love You
• OSU tight end Ryan Hamby receives hate mail, drops it. [Around the Oval] • Rams exec leaves threatening phone message on columnist's voice mail. We love stories like that. [STL Today • Bill Simmons finally acknowledges that he works for the same company as Mario Lopez. [Sports Guy's World] • The D...

We Hope You Like Joe Morgan
Bad news for those who are driven to murderous rage by the voice of ESPN analyst Joe Morgan: ESPN and Major League Baseball have extended their broacast agreement through 2013. Sunday Night Baseball with Morgan and Jon "Hey, Don't Look At Me, I Don't Know What The Hell He's Talking About Either" M...

You Fought The Law, And Shaq Won
By now, you've surely heard all about Heat center Shaquille O'Neal's assistance in apprehending a man who threw a beer bottle at two gay men in Miami on Sunday morning. We salute Shaq's continued effort to rid the world of crime and corruption; by our count, he has now taken out potential child mo...

Peter King Gets His Lindsay Lohan On
All right, now we know that Sports Illustrated's Peter King has lost a lot of weight over the summer, but as this photo from last month shows ... come on, Pete. We understand obesity is a key factor in heart disease, but wasting away that fast just can't be healthy ......