ill Page 767 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Today In Oddjack
What you're missing over at Oddjack, the site for both the discerning speculator and the degenerate gambler ... • Bill Simmons has a sure thing. Why do we hear that and immediately think of Michael Keaton in Night Shift? • If you're thinking about going against the Bears this week, Kyle Orton would ...

Kicking Off The Season With Satan
According to the The Boston Herald, which is being amusingly hush-hush about the whole thing, tonight's special guest at the NFL Kickoff Festivities will be Ozzy Osbourne. What does Ozzy Osbourne have to do with football? Well, Kanye West doesn't have anything to do with football either, and if Ozzy...

Look Up "Class" in the Dictionary, You'll See a Picture of Larry King
From the Reasons Radio Will Never Die department, it appears that Westwood One Radio is considering hiring Larry King to appear on its Monday Night Football radio broadcasts this year. This is the best news we have heard in months; we still haven't quite recovered SI.com canned his batshit nuts "S...

The Surprising Sincerity of Stephon Marbury
We feel like you're expecting us to somehow poke fun at Knicks guard Stephon Marbury's emotional breakdown when discussing Hurricane Katrina, but we really can't. The guy was legitimately devastated, and he's also avoiding one of our pet peeves: Attaching charitable donations to some sort of athle...

In Case You Haven't Heard, Bill Simmons Has a Book Coming Out
Well, word is finally out: The Bill Simmons book is public knowledge, now that Our Boy Bill has announced it on his site. (At least Page 2 will let some external links go out.)...

About Last Night ...
Well, once again you've thrown a boot at the TV and pointed the remote at the cat ... • MLB: Pedro, Mets lose again, consider reality series. • MLB: Ortiz, you stud! Red Sox shock Angels. • Talk about steroids, ever take a close look at Kim Clijsters? Er, we mean, Venus ousted in U.S. Open semis....

A Bad Way For Your Party To End
On the list of "Things That Are Not Smart To Do," we'd have to say that "Drunkenly Plowing Into Shaquille O'Neal's Wife" has to be pretty high up there. But that's what happened to some poor soul at the Video Music Awards last week, and, perhaps not surprisingly, the dude ended up on the floor in ...

About Last Night ...
• What you missed while shaving profanities onto your dog ... • Florida State beats Miami in football ... wait, that can't be right. • Jerry Rice decides to retire after Broncos clean out his locker, paint over his parking space and refuse to let him back into the building. • White Sox grind Curt Sc...

Bill Simmons: This Is Who He Is
We have to say, when we saw the headline to the new Bill Simmons column, titled "This Is Who I Am ...," we got very excited. Who is Bill, exactly? Was it going to be a Scoop Jackson-esque Crash Davis rant, with stuff like, "I believe Tom Brady posters should be on the ceilings of every unmarried ...

Charity, A Wee Bit at a Time
After winning in the second round of the U.S. Open yesterday, superhumanoid from the future Serena Williams announced she would give $100 for every ace to victims of Hurricane Katrina in the Gulf Coast. This is a noble thing, sure; she didn't have to give anything, so let's not look a gift horse i...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while stuck firmly in the tire swing ... • MLB: Pedro tees 'em up, Phillies hit 'em out. Ah, that's the Mets we know. • A day after taking first batting practice, an exhausted Bonds takes a day off. • Marlins' Hermida peaks at 21; hits grand slam in first major league at-bat....

All Hail The Fourth Estate
We find it strange that "60 Minutes" second-place curmudgeon Mike Wallace has such a fascination with Dolphins stoner Ricky Williams, but apparently he does: He's in Dolphins camp this week for another round of interviews. Remember when you used to be scared when Mike Wallace came to interview yo...

Dontrelle Willis Did Not Land On Plymouth Rock
We hadn't noticed — because we're devils, of course — but something rare happened in baseball yesterday: Two black starting pitchers went against each other. Florida's Dontrelle Willis earned his 17th win over the Dodgers' Edwin Jackson, and it has the always sane folks at Black Athlete comparing...

Larry Bowa, Civic Wonder
To combine reality and fantasy for a moment, ESPN analyst Larry Bowa has been named a Distinguished Little League Graduate award. In response, the ever-refined Larry Bowa responded through the great Yard Work:...

Today In Oddjack
What you're missing over at Oddjack, the site for both the discerning speculator and the degenerate gambler ... · You can bet on Dontrelle Willis, or you can just take a nap at lunch. · Hey, look, you can bet on the Little League World Series. That's making the world a better place. · Time to bet on...

Bill Simmons On The Brink
We make fun of our boy Bill Simmons here sometimes, but it's all done out of love, really, swear. But we'll be honest: Sometimes we think his "Ramblings" columns make him sound a little bit insane. Check out these particular examples:...

We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... · 11 a.m.. MLB With Buster Olney: Come on ... you KNOW who's tested positive, don't you? Just tell us. Come on. You know you want to. · Noon. MLB With Steve Phillips: Aw, man, nobody tells Steve Phillips anything. No point in even asking...

About Last Night ...
What You Missed While Watching The Office Ladies Attack The Copy Machine Repairman ... · Clemens Roughed Up In Loss. We tell you, that guy's too old to pitch. · Phils, Nats Split Huge Doubleheader. Sharing is good, you guys. Don't get greedy. · Bears, Benson Still Far Apart On Contract. The good new...

Leftovers: Fighting Your Sister For Air Time
· Reggie Miller joins Cheryl on TNT. [Hollywood Reporter] · Apparently, they play tennis in Cincinnati. [Reuters] · LeBron James testifies in suit against documentarian. [CBS Sportsline] · Soon, the Yankees will just start setting themselves on fire and eliminating the middle man. [NY Post]...
