ing Page 1703 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Wait ... It's Mariucci's Fault?
After watching that wretched Lions' loss to the Falcons yesterday — we'll do anything to make the NFL take away the guaranteed Lions homegame on Thanksgiving every year; that game is NEVER competitive — word is starting to rumble: The Lions are considering firing coach Steve Mariucci. This is Mari...
Danica Races To The Altar
Hey wait, a wedding, and we weren't invited? It seems that elfin Indy driver Danica Patrick went and got married over the weekend, right under our noses, and we're just now hearing about it. And the staffers at Star call themselves journalists ... Details are beginning to leak, though (probably t...
Polls: You Love You Some Sheriff
Well, the readers have spoken, and in yet another trouncing — we never have any close polls around here, which we suppose is our fault — your favorite Clinton Portis costume is Sheriff Gonna Getcha, with 38.1 percent of the vote. (We think it's the Led Zeppelin shirt; impossible to resist it.) Sec...
Picasso And Ron Artest Meet, One Year Later
We think the folks at Washington Wizards obsessive site Wizznutzz are certifiably bonkers, but we mean that in the best possible way. We meant to hit this last week, but on Friday they reposted their brilliant Picasso-inspired piece of art called "Aubernica", a dramatic surrealist rendering the f...
Seizure On Ice
Last evening's terrifying seizure incident involving Red Wings defenseman Jiri Fischer ended with an entire game being cancelled, CPR being given right there on the bench (you can see it in that picture, from the Detroit Free Press) and, ultimately, Fischer was described as "jovial" in the hospita...
Vote: Which Is The Best Portis Alter Ego?
For those of you who haven't been paying attention to the gradual, meticulous mental breakdown of Clinton Portis, the Redskins running back has been dressing up as a new "character" — and, Method-like, staying in character during interviews — for each media conference every Thursday. (It is to Por...
NFL Roundup: Lovie's Kind Of Town
• So here's something crazy: With a break or two, the Chicago Bears could have playoff home-field advantage in the NFC. Still, whether they win the Super Bowl or not, "Ditka" is always going to sound cooler than "Lovie." • We're really starting to maybe think that Chesnning might really lead the C...
I - L - L !!!!!!!
We know some of those early-season tournaments have been going on all week, but as far as we're concerned, the college basketball season actually starts tonight: Our beloved, "Paint The Hall Orange" Illinois Fighting Illini tip off against the South Dakota State Jackrabbits — because nothing says...
20 Years After Theismann And LT
WSJ's The Daily Fix alerted us to anniversary that, like just about everything does anymore, succeeded in making us feel old: Today is the 20th anniversary of Lawrence Taylor's brutal hit on Joe Theismann, breaking his leg and ending his career. (The Washington Post has a fantastic story about thi...
Clinton Portis. Clinton Portis. Say It With Us Now.
If it's Friday, it must be time to check in on the weird shit Clinton Portis came up with yesterday. We've documented Portis' antics extensively, and he did not disappoint yesterday with his new character: "Dollah Bill." This character's a little less inspired than "Dr. 'I Don't Know'" and "Sheri...
We Now Pause For This Short (Ahem) Announcement
We have a lot of respect for jockeys, especially considering the dangerous nature of their sport, and the raw deal they seem to be getting from track owners. But when we saw this story, we had to giggle a little bit. Come on, we're not made of stone. It seems that several jockeys got into a physi...
Boxing (And "Ultimate Fighting") Hit Rock Bottom
The only way anyone can get to care about boxing anymore is when celebrities hit each other. Henceforth, an upcoming fight between "Fear Factor"'s Joe Rogan and fledgling wanna-be kung-fu star Wesley Snipes. It is indicative of the world of boxing that on boxing Web sites, this has become a semi-b...
Peter King, Hello!
We have always liked Sports Illustrated's Peter King, up until a couple of years ago, at least. He was plugged in, incredible for information, and had that everyman quality we Web people enjoy. But — and maybe because he's gotten all thin now, or maybe it's the breakneck schedule he keeps — he is ...
Oskee-Wow-Wow
We are honored — since we've mentioned it only sparingly, though expect that to change as college hoops gets going — that so many of you have noted that we are proud graduates of the University of Illinois and have asked our opinion of the NCAA ruling that the Chief Illiniwek nickname and "symbol"...
NFL Roundup: Down Goes Tice!
• What's funnier than Mike Tice being rolled over and knocked down on the sideline? Nothing, that's what. By the way, we find Tice's dopey sideline celebrations undignified, and Tom Coughlin's constant gyrations of fury incredibly amusing. • Samkon Gado, baby, Samkano Gado. Two touchdowns, one gr...
Clinton Portis Still Selling Crazy, Man
In case you thought Redskins running back Clinton Portis was becoming more sane as the weeks went by rather than less, you can relax. We proudly present his newest concoction: "Sheriff Gonna Getcha."...
Oh, Sleep Well. We DARE You.
We present the mascots for the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games. It's a panda, an antelope, a fish, a swallow and an Olympic flame. Or, as we prefer to call those creatures, "nightmare fuel." Why are Olympic mascots always so scary?...
We Apologize In Advance ... But MORE CHEERLEADERS!
We know we implied yesterday that we were just about done with this whole Carolina cheerleader thing, but, you see, we just ... can't ... tear ourselves ... away. We suspect you understand....
Stop Pointing Cameras At Mike Tyson. Please.
We get as tired of Mike Tyson In Trouble news as anybody else does, not only because the stories are seemingly endless, but because we can't really hate Tyson anymore; he only has our pity....
Why Your City Sucks
Looks like the Maloof brothers got a hold of the Jumbotron controls while drunk again. In what the team says will be a regular feature, when the Pistons were introduced last night, the Kings ran a feature about the city of Detroit on the scoreboard. You can probably guess what it was: horrible vis...