ing Page 1707 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Leftovers: Don't Mess With Texas
• Texans fire offensive coordinator Chris Palmer. Yeah, that'll turn the tide.* [KSPN • K State RB Thomas Clayton knocks over a couple of guys and speeds to daylight — in a car. [Tony's Kansas City] • Ronaldinho selected world player of the year. There'll be dancing in the streets of Rio tonight! Um...
Jose Canseco, Professional Wrestler (Of Course)
We're not even going to pretend to be surprised here: Jose Canseco is rumored to making an appearance at Wrestlemania this spring. Perhaps it is telling that the people who are most concerned about this development are not baseball fans, but wrestling fans. Seems like the WWE — remember, that's wh...
NFL Roundup: Daunte's Blues
• If you somehow were able to make an emotionless, painless robot clone of Bea Arthur, and you pounded that clone in the face with a polo mallet for 25 minutes, then slammed that head in a car door 15 times, then severed the head with an exceptionally long and sharp toenail, then put the head in a...
The Return Of Little Mac
Mad propers to The Mighty MJD, who came across a short film we'll be watching all day: "The Return Of Little Mac, a dramatic rendition of what the "Mike Tyson's Punch Out" hero might be up to these days. Tortured by visions of Bald Bull, haunted by his lone victory over Mike Tyson, sitting in a ba...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 11 a.m. MLB with Jayson Stark: No offense, but you're the first person we've met who spells their first name like that who sucks at basketball. • 11:30. Author Buzz Bissinger: So who's a bigger prick: Stephen Glass or Billy Bob Thornto...
Blogdome: The NCAA Can Screw Up Anything
• If there's a way to rectify a wrong by screwing over a student-athlete, rest assured that the NCAA will find it. [The Sports Frog] • Some excuses Rafael Palmeiro didn't come up with. [Zulkey] • It's bad enough that the Mets have collapsed. But do fans have to watch Jose Offerman too? Come on, that...
Leftovers: Kansas City People Are Weird
• Hunkalicious Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer author hangs out with some seriously weird Chiefs fans. [Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer] • The different species of asshole Little League coaches. [Flak] • Even the Bering Sea can't knock down Larry Csonka. [USA Today] • Getting their Irish up: Notre Dame ri...
The Smut Peddlers At The Sporting News
We know the plucky Midwesterners at The Sporting News are hip with blogs and stuff these days, but we still have to say we were a little surprised to see what appears to be a lesbian personal ad on the site's homepage. With full butt cuppage! Simmer down, you wild St. Louisans!...
Peter King Gets His Lindsay Lohan On
All right, now we know that Sports Illustrated's Peter King has lost a lot of weight over the summer, but as this photo from last month shows ... come on, Pete. We understand obesity is a key factor in heart disease, but wasting away that fast just can't be healthy ......
ESPN Ombudsman: You Kids Knock It Off!
Resident nerdy professor ESPN ombudsman George Solomon filed his newest impotent you-darned-kids column on Saturday, and, as usual, we imagine ESPN brass reading it, shaking their heada, chuckling, then tossing another few more Indonesian children on the fire. (It's gonna get cold in Bristol soon;...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as elves cobble shoes in the tiny sweatshop you've constructed in the garage ... • MLB: Red Sox at Yankees. Apparently there's some sort of rivalry. • Reno 911: Washington State at Nevada football. Take the over. • MLB: Mets at Cardinals. The best team in baseball versus, well, the Met...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • 10 a.m. MLB with Joe Morgan: When you said "any team that makes the playoffs can go all the way," you obviously didn't mean the A's, right? • Noon. MLB with Jerry Crasnick: After writing License to Deal, how many showers did it take ...
Making Fun of Don King Is Funny (Until He Stomps You To Death)
The New York Post's Page Six reports this morning that failed real estate entrepreneur Donald Trump will be hosting a Friar's club roast of boxing "promoter" Don King. Past roastees have included Pamela Anderson, Chevy Chase and, most famously, Hugh Hefner. And now Don King, perhaps the only perso...
Leftovers: Bud Selig's European Vacation
• Ducks across the pond: MLB to play games in Europe in '07? [MSNBC] • Westbrook serves Eagles with divorce papers. Wonder where he learned that from. [For The Birds] • Say it ain't so: Red Auerbach sent to hospital. [CelticsBlog.com] • Pickup game: LeBron, Kobe, KG in for Katrina relief. [Minneapol...
Look Up "Class" in the Dictionary, You'll See a Picture of Larry King
From the Reasons Radio Will Never Die department, it appears that Westwood One Radio is considering hiring Larry King to appear on its Monday Night Football radio broadcasts this year. This is the best news we have heard in months; we still haven't quite recovered SI.com canned his batshit nuts "S...
Mike Tyson, Loose In Moscow
Hey, it's a story about Mike Tyson, and he's not beating the crap out of someone or forcing them to do drugs. Though he's in Moscow, so it could just be a matter of time....
About Last Night ...
• What you missed while shaving profanities onto your dog ... • Florida State beats Miami in football ... wait, that can't be right. • Jerry Rice decides to retire after Broncos clean out his locker, paint over his parking space and refuse to let him back into the building. • White Sox grind Curt Sc...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch on your freshly looted high-definition TV ... • Boxing: Malcolm Tann vs. Derek Bryant heavyweight clinchfest. • MLB: Cardinals at Marlins. Do we feel Baseball Fever coming on? Nope, it's just the humidity. • U.S. Open Tennis. Because real sports get us too worked up....
NFL Network Rids Itself Of Stoners, Past, Present and Future
Former Minnesota Vikings running back Robert Smith was always one of our favorite players when he was in the league. He was unusually intelligent — particularly for someone who went to Ohio State — retired at the top of his game and was renowned for his charitable foundations, most notably The Rob...
The Metrodome Gestapo
People have always hated The Minneapolis Metrodome, and now they have a new reason: It's a Nazi building. So says somebody/something called "Tim's TV," which claims at his/its site, "The Swastika Dome," that the Metrodome has a swastika designed in its roof. Just because we've just discovered thi...