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![Andy Reid Was Fired Before Today's Game, Coached Anyway [Update: Reid Says He Hasn't Been Fired]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/189zmjjcgeus5jpg.jpg)
Andy Reid Was Fired Before Today's Game, Coached Anyway [Update: Reid Says He Hasn't Been Fired]
If you're following our updating coach termination liveblog, you already know this—or, if you've watched the Eagles this year, you'd surmised it—but Andy Reid will not be patrolling the Eagles' sideline next year. Reuben Frank reports [video at link], "Jeff Lurie and Andy had spoken even before the...

Dutch Soccer Player Released From Team For Being A "Wildpoeper," Which Is Someone Who Poops In The Woods
There must be an epidemic of people shitting outside in the Netherlands. Why else would the Dutch have a specific word that is used to describe public shitters, and why else would a soccer player be immediately released from his team for being discovered as a "wildpoeper?"...

The Marlins' Megadeal Could Be Good For Miami If Jeffrey Loria Didn't Exist
It took almost a week, but everyone's taken their physicals and the commissioner's office has signed off on the crazypants deal. Deep breath: The Marlins will receive Henderson Alvarez, Yunel Escobar, Adeiny Hechavarria, Jeff Mathis, Jake Marisnick, Anthony DeSclafani, and Justin Nicolino. The Blue ...

The Marlins Specifically Promised Not To Trade Jose Reyes And Mark Buehrle, Traded Jose Reyes And Mark Buehrle
Need another reason to hate the Marlins? Let's add this to the list (there's seriously a list): not only did the Miami Marlins and their awful ownership trade away half the team—they did so despite promising at least two stars, who signed with the Marlins this summer hoping to stay in Miami for some...

Mayor Of Miami Writes Letter To Bud Selig Imploring Him To Stop The Marlins Trade
It's not just Marlins fans and baseball bloggers that are mad at Jeffrey Loria for gutting the Marlins roster yet again. Now the Mayor of Miami is lobbying for Bud Selig to prevent the Marlins from sticking the city of Miami with a brand new stadium that nobody wants to go to because the team's ros...

Inveterate Asshole And Loria Stepson David Samson Tries To Justify The Marlins Trade
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: This is the guy who called Miamians stupid for funding the stadium....

The Miami Marlins Are A Hilarious Disgrace
Here is what has happened in the last year of the Miami Marlins, formerly d/b/a Florida Marlins: They swindled the citizens of Miami for a new stadium and drew the SEC's notice. They filched Jose Reyes from a franchise that has actual fans but no money and a municipal government that refuses to be ...

Yup, A Giant Truck Full Of Fish Crashed Into A Building Named After Jeffrey Loria
Good writers spend ages searching for the perfect metaphor, the one that makes everything make sense. Agnostics spend their years searching for some sign that a higher power guides the universe. Look no further, heretics (and Marlins beat writers). Everything was revealed today, in the midday sun at...

Hey Knicks, Marlins, Orioles, Redskins, And Islanders Fans: ESPN Says The Sacramento Kings Have The Worst Owners In Sports
Venerable Kings blog Sactown Royalty notes that ESPN: The Paper Thingy ranks the Maloofs as the worst owners in sports—all of sports!—in their "Ultimate Standings 2012," which rates organizations across the four major sports based on some arbitrary methodology that I don't care to look into. (The o...

The Miami Marlins Are Getting The Bad Season They Deserve
Having now traded away infielder and former franchise cornerstone Hanley Ramirez, second baseman Omar Infante, and starting pitcher Anibal Sanchez, it appears that the Miami Marlins are in full fire-sale mode. This impression is further compounded by Josh Johnson's rumored residence on the trading ...

Last Night's <em>The Franchise: Miami Marlins</em> Distilled Down To Its Motherfucking Essence
The Miami Marlins all-access curse-fest that is The Franchise premiered last night on Showtime, and the first episode made for enjoyable viewing (more enjoyable, at least, than the ESPY Awards, which it ran against). Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria bet the house on the 2012 season, hoping a new stadiu...

The Second Time They Met, Jeffrey Maier Didn't Dare Mess With Tony Tarasco
When I met Jeffrey Maier, he was Coach Maier and I had no idea who he was. Of course I remembered the boy who stole an out from two feet above Tony Tarasco's glove and turned it into an eight inning, game-tying home run in the '96 ALDS. The Yankees would win the game, and the series, and the champio...

Jeffrey Loria Had A Marlins Park Cake With Swarovski Crystals And A Working Retractable Roof
After trotting out Muhammad Ali like a show pony, the Marlins owner welcomed friends and colleagues to his luxury suite on opening night with this cake: a custom made replica of Marlins Park. That bigass logo? It's 3,600 crystals. Probably worth more than your life. I swear to god, this thing better...

Jeffrey Loria Is Spectacularly Unlikable
Ben McGrath has a fun story about the Miami Marlins in this week's New Yorker (subscription required), which, as its primary function, introduces uptown types to Ozzie (and Oney) Guillen. But Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria is present too. In fact, he condescends to you through print. He makes you feel ...

Cayman Islands Banker Inexplicably Elected New Concacaf Boss
Nah, it doesn't seem shady at all to install the head of the Cayman Islands soccer contingent as the new big cheese overseeing all of North/Central American and Caribbean soccer. Nope, no sir....

March Madness Strikes Middle School Hoops: Model Parent Beat Assistant Coach Silly For Disciplining His Daughter
This story comes out of Indiana and you know how crazy they go for basketball out there. Shelly Miller was having a presumably typical, non-violent day before he picked up his daughter after basketball practice at St. Stanislaus School. Then his daughter told him a harrowing story of the assistant ...

Feds Indict Former NFL O-Lineman In Money-Laundering Scheme
Former San Diego Charger and New Orleans Saint Jeffrey Lynn Walker was the focus of an FBI press release this week. That's always good, right?!...

World Cup Open Thread: Greece-Argentina; Nigeria-South Korea
The second batch of games has some potential. Greece will need to hold back the relentless Argentine attack if it wants to advance. Can Nigeria play spoiler to the ambitious South Koreans? Comment as you watch....

Hanley Ramirez's Sugar Daddy Keeps Him In Bling
Tacky, tacky, tacky. But the pendant celebrating Ramirez's batting average title isn't as bad as it could be, since he didn't buy it himself. No, it's a gift from an older gentleman that likes to see he's taken care of....