just Page 57 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
About Last Night
What you missed while shoplifting eight giant red hot pickled sausages, stealing a doughnut truck and ramming a University of Wisconsin police car. Oh, and your name is Warren Whitelightning ... (with video) • Holiday Bowl: One For The Thumb ... Texas steamrolls ASU 51-34 despite Mack Brown's goofy ...
They Don't Snowboard In Bikinis, So Ratings Suffer
• 12 noon — NCAA Basketball: Georgetown at Memphis [ESPN] • 1:00 p.m. — Papajohns.com Bowl: Southern Miss vs. Cincinnati [ESPN2] • 1:00 p.m. — Movie: Planes, Trains And Automobiles [Comedy] • 2:00 p.m. — NCAA Basketball: UCLA at Michigan [CBS] • 2:30 p.m. — Movie: Goodfellas [Spike] • 3:00 p.m. — NC...
Dick Nolan, Rest In Peace
Before Ronnie Lott and Joe Montana and Jerry Rice, there was a plucky band of guys in shiny gold pants with names like John Brodie, Gene Washington and Cedrick Hardman. Many don't remember that it wasn't Bill Walsh who put the San Francisco 49ers on the map; it was Dick Nolan. He was the first coach...
Chad Johnson Wants You To Keep The Tape Rolling
No matter what anyone says, it's still hard to adjust to the notion of Keyshawn Johnson wearing a suit and being introduced by Chris Berman. It's like the spectacle of Sitting Bull as part of Buffalo Bill's Wild West Show. Keyshawn was not meant to be tamed....
Who Knew Large Humans Could Get Winded Easily?
• Sure enough, the Dallas-Minnesota game is the nuttiest of the 4 o'clock bunch. After Vikings' defensive tackle Kevin Williams ran back Tony Romo's fumble about 80 or 90 yards into the end zone, you could see the trainer come out and squirt a water bottle on the back of his neck, because that's exa...
The Packers Are Bringing Sexy Back
Before the Bears-Packers game on Sunday night, some of those celebrity types were wrangled up and escorted into a holding pen, lest their celestial superpowers overtake those of Brett Favre. In the above picture, James Van Der Beek — most famous for his role as Lincoln Rogers Dunnison in 2001's Te...
Tom Brady Loves To Fly And It Shows
Tom Brady's offensive line is fierce in their devotion to him, and that includes, apparently, censoring the in-flight movies on flights to away games. No sooner had the movie begun on the Patriots' flight to Cincinnati last week than a moment during the opening credits proved a bit, um, awkward for ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while sitting on your Concorde jet toilet seat... • 8 p.m. — NCAA Football: Auburn at Florida [ESPN], Ohio State at Minnesota [ESPN2]. It's not October yet, and OSU is already playing it's second road game. Man, what a schedule. • 8 p.m. — Movie: The Office. I'm trying to think of a qu...
Looking Sharp, Philadelphia!
If you are watching the Eagles game this Sunday, there is nothing wrong with your television set. Donovan McNabb is still black, and those really are the Eagles uniforms....
We're Just Getting Started, If By "Started," You Mean "Halfway Done"
It was TheStarterWife who said things were totally different on this side of the wall, and all I can add to that is "ain't that the fucking truth." But we've learned a few things that we'll be sure to apply toward tomorrow's festivities. First of all, we realize that Nibbles really is a delicate fl...
About Last Night
What you missed while searching for a matching shirt to go with your fishnet pants ... • Basketball: Carmelo Anthony is tired of bronze! U.S. 118, Argentina 81. • MLB: Let t be known that the Cardinals are above .500! I shall now bang this gong! • Motor sports: Wait, Danica gets to celebrate for fin...
Rodney Harrison Comes Clean, League Remains Dirty
The Patriots plan for a 19-0 season took a big hit today when it was announced that Rodney Harrison has been suspended for the first four games of the regular season. New England's veteran safety's name came up in a federal investigation that's going to rock Roger Goodell's world. When questioned by...
Cox and Thurman - Average Americans With Disabilities
Cincinnati Bengal Odell Thurman and Tampa Bay Buccaneer Torrie Cox filed discrimination claims yesterday with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, claiming that their suspensions due to substance abuse should be overturned in light of their alcoholism....
About Last Night ...
• NASCAR: Jamie McMurray takes Pepsi 400 checkered flag by a bottleneck. • MLB: Rangers become hoist by the O's Bedard. Horsefly sex down 300%. • Horse Racing: Panty Raid wins Grade 1 American Oaks, several Tri-Lambdas seen with winning tickets....
We Doubt Anna Benson Would Have Stood For This
To wrap up today, here's yet another example of just how weird professional athletes are, from a few days ago: They sometimes live in a batting cage. That's what the Angels' Reggie Willits does, anyway....
It's Becoming More Fun To Talk About The NBA Than To Watch It
So, to make this clear, in the last week or so, Kevin Garnett has alternately been going to the Bulls (definitely!), the Lakers (without question!) and now the Suns (put it in the books!). ESPN has all the different scenarios, which include the Suns giving up Shawn Marion or Amare Stoudemire, the Ce...