k Page 3480 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Not Even The Greek League Wants Matt Howard
Via David Woods: "Former Butler forward Matt Howard has been released by his Greek team, Olympiakos." Rest in peace, grit. We'll miss you....

Jay Cutler Is Not A Winner Because He Doesn't Smile At Bears Employees, Writes Crazy Person
I'm not sure where to begin with this column by Rick Telander of the Chicago Sun-Times. The headline says it's about Jay Cutler, but the first half of it has nothing to do with Jay Cutler—it's all about Tom Brady and Eli Manning, since they're in the Super Bowl. By the time Telander gets to telling...

A J.P. Morgan Vice President Has Very Specific Tactical Plans For His Rec League Basketball Team
The latest entry in our overwrought emails series comes from the world of high finance... rec-league basketball. A vice president at J.P. Morgan in London is very enthusiastic about the upcoming season. But he's not gonna stand for his players flailing around on the court, like Mike D'Antoni might. ...

Ravens Defensive Coordinator Chuck Pagano Is The New Colts Head Coach
So report Pro Football Talk and Bob Kravitz. He's the fourth Ravens DC to run a team in recent years. With forebears like Mike Nolan, Marvin Lewis, and Rex Ryan, Pagano's destined for 8-8!...

The New England Patriots Are Not Out For Revenge
We're doing a season-long NFL roundtable with our friends at Slate. Check back here each week as a rotating cast of football watchers discusses the weekend's key plays, coaching decisions, and traumatic brain injuries....

Today In Straightforward Headlines: "Man Busted For Kicking Kitten Then Signaling Field Goal"
Police charged a South Side (Chicago) man with animal cruelty after officers say they watched him take a running start and kick his kitten 15 feet to 18 feet into the air before raising his arms to signal a successful field goal....

This College Hockey Announcer Pauses, Ostensibly To Choose The Perfect Words, And Then Says "Dick Around With The Puck" (UPDATE)
Wisconsin played University of Minnesota-Duluth in December. The game, broadcast on the Big Ten Network, was a 3-3 tie. Somehow we only got this video now, courtesy of reader Daniel. Hey, beats Joe Micheletti....

A Plea To Joe Posnanski: Stop Writing Mealy-Mouthed Nonsense About Joe Paterno
Sports Illustrated's Joe Posnanski is in a tough spot. He's a gifted writer and by all appearances a decent guy. His decency is his defining characteristic; he grew up rooting for doomed Cleveland teams and covered the worthless Kansas City Royals, but he never gave in to the urge to be a hatchet ma...

A Chronicle Of Doing It: Nike And Destruction
Republished with permission from The Classical....

A Slapshot To The Ear Can Do Some Serious Damage (NSFW)
On Saturday, during an off-day practice in Pittsburgh, Alex Ovechkin took a shot on net. It went high, caromed around off the glass, and struck Matt Hendricks directly in the ear. Above is the "after" picture. The graphic photo below shows the damage: an inch-long gash in the cartilage....

Oregon High School Basketball Player Is Really, Really Excited About The League Game He Just Won
The Springfield (Ore.) Times is where you should go for this news:...

Novak Djokovic Gives Appropriately Stupid Answer To Jim Courier's Incredibly Stupid Question
The television networks employ former athletes as analysts because of the uncommon insight they can offer from having been there. Those ex-athletes will, on occasion, uphold their end of the bargain by informing us of something we might not have known or understood without the benefit of their per...

This Vancouver Canucks Fan Is Proud To Be Dating An Edmonton Fan
Your morning roundup for Jan. 25, the day we learned oral sex may or may not kill you. Photo via Puck Daddy. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Larry Nance Jr.'s Jumpman Slam Was The Spitting Image Of Michael Jordan
Michael Jordan's the name most people associate with the NBA Slam Dunk Contest, but few remember it was Larry Nance who won the 1984 inaugural edition of the competition. Nance's son (who had plenty of opportunities as a youth to watch Jordan style over his dad's Cavaliers) now plays for Wyoming a...

Pennsylvania's Governor Is Officially Sad Joe Paterno Is Dead, After He Officially Helped Fire Him
Gov. Tom Corbett declared yesterday that all flags on state facilities be at half-staff until Joe Paterno is buried. It's a decision that's generating plenty of opinions pro and con, given Paterno's complex legacy in relation to his towering stature in Pennsylvania. But it's curious that Corbett sa...

What It's Like To Be Inside A Hockey Rink When The Roof Collapses
Puck Daddy has the story and the complete video, but these few moments tell us all we need to know about a Slovakian rink's roof giving way under the weight of snow. Though native Richard Zednik was putting on a youth clinic, he and the kids got off the ice with seconds to spare, and no one was in...

Bernard Pollard Hopes The Giants "Put A Thrashing" On The Patriots
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the Patriot-killer wants New York to finish the job....

"I Want Barry Melrose To Shoot On Me," And Other Highlights From Linda Cohn's Stint As A Goaltender
Hey, look! It's hockey on SportsCenter!...

How To Lose Weight Without Wanting To Kill Yourself
I was at the gym this morning and some old British dude started talking to me in the locker room, which is a huge breach of gym locker room protocol and totally freaked me out. Anyway, he's like, "You should watch your feet." And I looked down at my bare feet on the tile floor, and he was like, "Thi...

The Great Duke Attendance Scam
It's not really a scam; that's a sensationalist headline. Just jumping the gun on what will spend all day being a very dumb story. Because it is about Duke, and every story about Duke eventually breaks down to the lowest common denominators of the pro-Duke and anti-Dook factions flinging feces at ea...