kris Page 19 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jay Cutler's Baby Still Learning How To Sulk
I was browsing People's celebrity baby blog, and came upon this: the first photo of young Camden Jack Cutler. Camden's got quite the lifetime ahead, considering his parents are a vapid dullard who somehow keeps finding a way to get on television yet remains forever eluded by success, and Kristin Cav...
Jay Cutler Spawned
Jay Cutler and that one lady from that one reality show welcomed their first child into the world this morning. As reported by the one lady's Twitter account, Camden Jack Cutler entered the world as a healthy, seven-pound, nine-ounce baby boy. We assume that Bears fans are already complaining about ...
Kris And Anna Benson To Divorce After 13 Irritating Years
If a boring overpaid retired major leaguer and a crazy former stripper can't make it, what chance do the rest of us have? Kris Benson and Anna Benson, overhyped sports power couple of all overhyped sports power couples, have decided that this is it: after 13 years of marriage, it's divorce time....
Pro Golfer Misses Cut, Vows To Have Sex With Wife
Kris Blanks is the 201st ranked player in the world and 121st in the FedEx Cup. On Thursday and Friday, Blanks participated in the John Deere Classic in Silvis, Illinois. He will not be playing today or tomorrow because he missed the cut by one measly stroke....
Nick Saban's Daughter Sued For Allegedly Beating The Shit Out Of One Of Her Sorority Sisters
Flying under the radar during all of this morning's Penn State news is a startling story concerning University of Alabama football coach Nick Saban's daughter. Kristen Saban is being sued by one of her sorority sisters after Saban allegedly assaulted her....
Seriously, Cheer Up, Snow White. <i>Snow White and the Huntsman</i>, Reviewed.
For all the money that was spent on Snow White and the Huntsman, apparently there wasn't any allotment in the budget for enjoyment. This movie exists in an universe where any visual wonder can occur but not a single character ever cracks a smile. If you watch event movies lately, you know that there...
Is It OK For A Movie Trailer To Lie? Or, Why <em>Friends With Kids</em> Is Definitely Not <em>Bridesmaids 2</em>
Last October, a Detroit woman named Sarah Deming filed suit against FilmDistrict for its misleading advertisements for the film Drive. Her claim was that the film's trailers had led her to believe the film was about driving rather than, you know, Ryan Gosling stomping in the orbital bones of various...
Twin Sisters Are Iditarod Racers
We don't get much Iditarod coverage around these parts, so thank you to tipster Brandon for sending this along. Anna and Kristy Berington are Wisconsin natives living in Alaska. Above all else, they are trailblazing dog racers. As you read this they are probably mushing their way through the Alaska...
The Nets Pulled Off A Perfect Double Alley-Oop
This one was executed so perfectly, it's almost as if the Nets drew up this double alley-oop in the first quarter of a win over the Mavericks. While it's not the first one we've seen this season, DeShawn Stevenson to MarShon Brooks to Kris Humphries certainly breaks the record for most capital let...
The Chargers Sent A Concussed Player Back Into The Game, And Then He Had A Seizure, And Now He's Retiring
Union-Tribune beat writer Kevin Acee is reporting that the Chargers' Pro Bowl guard Kris Dielman is going to call it quits. He's just 31, but doctors are advising Dielman that his future quality of life could seriously suffer if he suits up again. Let's recall week seven:...
The White Mamba Made Kris Humphries Look Silly Last Night
The Bulls have been hard-hit by injuries, yet they keep winning. That's what happens when you can plug in Brian Scalabrine off the bench for 23 minutes. Big Scal set the tone for Chicago's fourth straight victory with a move that should make Kris Humphries very happy: it'll be shown on TV for a lo...
Kristin Cavallari And Jay Cutler Are Gonna Have A Baby
So what if Jay Cutler got injured and missed six games of the Bears' season, causing the team to miss the playoffs? He's more POTENT than he's ever been!...
Drunk Chick Punches Cab Driver, Plays "American With Disabilities" Card
The words that Kristin "Krazii" Beriau used to describe herself on her soon-to-be-privatized Facebook page are as follows: "i dont give a FUCK wat anyone thinks of me cuz i no im fabolous, i love to party and chill, im friendly and sometimes a bitch, sexy, KRAZII, and above all, i am a dime....some...
Kris Humphries: Douchebag Homophobe
Kris Humphries is out indefinitely with a shoulder injury while the Nets continue to slide, losing their fifth straight last night to the Pacers....
This Time, It's The Rim That Rejected Kris Humphries
How unpopular is Kris Humphries? His wife is ripping him on Twitter, random people hate him, and New Yorkers are booing him....
It's Going To Be A Long, Miserable Year For Kris Humphries
Kris Humphries's summer sideshow was entertaining but seemed ultimately irrelevant: his dalliances with Kim Kardashian and with reality TV were in the universe of entertainment and celebrity, not our sports universe. We'd get our jokes, E! gets their ratings, Humphries and the Kardashians make a q...
The Atlanta Braves Wish You A Merry Christmas By Performing The Worst Rendition Of "Jingle Bells" Imaginable
Kris Medlen (the puffy-cheeked one with the bent brim) is the only one who gives it any effort, and he's followed by Chipper Jones's smug sunburnt visage. Ugh. Merry Christmas....
Pre-Kardashian Kris Humphries Went On A Date With One Of Jon Huntsman's Daughters
Things are looking up for Kris Humphries, the NBA free agent who spent 72 days married to Kim Kardashian. Last we checked in with him, he had to deal with a "KRIS IS GAY!" tabloid cover, and he had survived what was—unofficially—the worst year ever....
Here's The Bizarre Kristi Malzahn Interview Somebody's Trying To Sweep Off The Internet
We became aware of this a while ago, but seeing as how all public copies seem to have been swept off the web here's the wife of new Arkansas State head football coach Gus Malzahn acting very strangely at a church in Springdale, Ark. It is, alas, an edited version (sports agent John Phillips is tak...
Kris Humphries's Worst Year Ever Culminates In "KRIS IS GAY!" Tabloid Cover
As the year-end lists filter in this month, remember this: Not many people have had a more humiliating year than NBA free agent Kris Humphries. A year ago, Humphries was known as a mediocre pro basketball player who came off a mediocre bench for the mediocre New Jersey Nets. Now, after a 72-day marr...