ks Page 994 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Suns Even It Up, Back To Dallas
It is good to see that the Phoenix Suns, in a moment of success and elation, are able to wordless express their emotion through its physical manifestation without fear of potential retribution or societal shame. It's a good thing....

More Hasselhoff On Your Friday Night Than You Probably Expected
The Mavericks found their groove against the Suns last night, winning 105-98, putting the series at 1-1 heading back to Phoenix. The three stars of the evening: Dirk Nowitzki, who had 30 points, 14 boards, and 6 assists. Josh Howard, who had 29 points and 7 boards. And David Hasselhoff, who is th...

Steve Nash Politely Reminds You He's The MVP (In A Canadian Way)
Best thing we've read saw far today? True Hoop's headline "If He Keeps That Up, People Are Going To Start Thinking Steve Nash Is The MVP." Yeah, no kidding....

Western Conference Pants Party: Mavs Vs. Suns
We miss the defense-less days when every game between these two would have totalled nearly 300 points, but that's OK: This'll still work just fine....

Random YouTube Finding Of The Week
Not excited enough for the Western Conference Finals tonight? Well, if this video doesn't pump you up, nothing will....

One Awfully Strange Way Of Celebrating
We don't know how we missed this the other evening, but apparently, with seconds left and the Mavericks all set to celebrate, coach Avery Johnson ran down the bench to make a substitution. In all his excitement and hurry, he appears to have pulled a Reggie Evans on Josh Howard....

At Last, Nash And Nowitzki, Together Again
While trying to find video of a time when Mavericks coach Avery Johnson's voice was deep — we imagine it just one day rising, like reverse puberty — we came across this apparent promotional video for the Mavs. "The Avery Bunch" are heading to the Western Conference Finals, where they will face the P...

Hasselhoff, Nowitzki Lead Mavs Past Spurs
Boy, man, is Mark Cuban's billion-dollar penis ever gonna come out and play tonight....

It's Western Conference March Madness
We know a few people, Midwesterners, mostly, sometimes with their own little biases, who claim to love college basketball but are left cold by the NBA. We don't understand this, but even they can't deny the beauty of tonight: Two games, both elimination, winners play each other in the conference fin...

I Believe Dirk and David Hasselhoff Would Approve
I feel like I've seen enough "Lazy Sunday" parodies to last me for the rest of my life. I appreciated the original SNL bit as much as anyone, but at some point, it turned into nothing more than a license for young white people to make their own rap videos. Rarely will any good come from that....

And The Ones Get Sevens...
Screw "About Last Night!" After a night of basketball like that, it can be demoted to the two-spot......

Dirk Nowitzki Gets His Hasselhoff On
We suppose, had we put two and two together, we could have seen this coming. In a way, it has a certain spectacular cosmic inevitability....

Random YouTube Finding Of The Week
OK, so this is pretty much the very definition of a random YouTube finding....

Isiah Thomas, Charming Fellow
As we prepare ourselves for the inevitable 15-jet-pileup that will be Isiah Thomas taking over as coach of the Knicks — because you know it's happening — we cordially invite you to take in this twice-told tale of Isiah, back when he was working with the Raptors....

Somehow ... The Series Is TIED?
As we wait for Mark Cuban to sleep off what is almost certainly an enormous (and well-earned) hangover, we turn our morning attentions to LeBron James and the Cleveland Cavaliers. (No offense to the Mavericks, of course; we are one step closer to the sublime possibility of David Stern handing the ...

Hey, These Playoffs Are Getting Kind Of Fun
If you're one of those cynical souls who doesn't take Rasheed Wallace's word as gospel, we should be in for quite an intriguing evening of basketball. In the first game, we get to find out if this will be a forgettable early chapter in LeBron James' playoff career or if becomes something unique, spe...

Sutcliffe Tries To Solve That Thing
USA Today's Michael Heistand has the scoop this morning: ESPN's Rick Sutcliffe has been suspended from calling tonight's Red Sox-Orioles game....

Hey, Larry Brown Drama In The Offseason. Go Figure.
And so it begins. Reports are popping up that the Knicks are considering buying out head coach Larry Brown's contract for something in the neighborhood of $40 million. That would mean that Larry Brown made somewhere between $40 million and $50 million to coach the Knicks for exactly one year. Some...

Wife-Swapping And Game Fixing
Some clever guys at "The Beast," a satirical newspaper in Buffalo, made some truly legendary prank phone calls to the mayors of both Ottawa and Buffalo as the Sabres and Senators go head-to-head in the NHL playoffs. They ended up propositioning the wife of Buffalo mayor Byron Brown, and then getti...

And Here's Your Rick Sutcliffe Video
We asked for it, and you provided it: The complete video of Rick Sutcliffe's drunken meltdown on the Padres' telecast Wednesday night. Whoever posted the video was kind enough, in the middle of the video, to give us closeups of the announcers' faces, particularly play-by-play man Matt Vasgersian, wh...