lsd Page 5 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Google's Smart Compose Is Shitty And Definitely Evil
Not satisfied with foisting predictive text and Smart Replies upon an unsuspecting public, Google rolled out a new Smart Compose feature for mobile Gmail two months ago that, like your significant other interrupting you, storms right ahead and puts words in your mouth. Like so:...
Small-Town America Features, Ranked
Today, we’re talking about Steve Kerr, pillow talk, neglected foodstuffs, and more....
Which Ear Is Your Phone Ear?
I recently became deaf in my right ear thanks to a sudden brain hemorrhage, which is a freakish life-threatening injury that I highly recommend avoiding. The good news out of this, apart from me not being dead, is that it turns out my surviving left ear is my phone ear. I didn’t even realize it was ...
This Hail Mary Replay Tweak Will Go Over Like A Hard Fart
I wish they had thrown that flag in the NFC title game. I wish this because the Rams’ Nickell Robey-Coleman committed obvious pass interference. But I also wish it because flagging the Rams on that play would have allowed Saints coach Sean Payton to blow the game on his own merits—something he was a...
Let’s Do It. Let’s All Eat Salad With A Fuckin’ Spoon
Today, we’re talking about parsing online reviews, new candy bars, battered fries, oddly named Pennsylvania burgs, and more....
James Holzhauer Was The <i>Jeopardy!</i> GOAT
You can tell that Jeopardy! is a perfectly devised game format when even James Holzhauer can lose at it. Holzhauer’s streak of 32 consecutive victories on the show came to an end on Monday, when he nailed the Final Jeopardy answer (Who is Christopher Marlowe, whom Holzhauer referred to by the nickna...
Hear Me Out: Infinite-Field Baseball Games
A few weeks ago, I was reading this interview with architectural critic Paul Goldberger about baseball stadiums in America when I stumbled upon a reminder from Goldberger that doubles as a breathtaking conversation piece for stoners all across the land:...
Can You Eat A Full Meal Without Drinking Any Liquid?
Today, we’re talking about weed, toilet paper, golf, fucking to John Tesh, and more....
Engineer Unwittingly Trips Balls On LSD From The '60s While Repairing Iconic Synth
Here is a delightful story about psychedelics to ease you into the long weekend. ...
Respect Is Poison: A Message To The Class Of 2019
I have a story to tell you about being Mad Online. This isn’t really a fitting, celebratory story for you, the graduating class of 2019. You’re currently clad in your caps and your gowns, surrounded by loved ones, forced to endure one final round of grueling lectures from a cadre of respected gradua...
What Is The Ideal NBA Finals Result For Haters?
Today, we’re talking about bad bathrooms, breakfast in bed, rugby, Game of Thrones, and more. ...
The Night The Lights Went Out
“Pieces were stolen from meOr dare I say… given away?”...
What Are The Degrees Of Raining?
Today, we’re talking about J.R.R. Tolkien, OK symbols, plastic knives, beer cans, and more....
An Interview With A Man Who Eats Leftover Food From Strangers' Plates In Restaurants
Alex is a 43-year-old San Franciscan who works in the financial sector. He also eagerly eats uneaten and untouched leftover food off of plates if he spots it out in the open at a public dining establishment, even if it’s off a stranger’s plate. He forages in an urban setting, you might say. I called...
Where’s The Worst Place On Your Body To Put Your Sunglasses When You’re Not Wearing Them?
Today, we’re talking about old man farts, parking apps, Florida, road trips, cupcakes, and more....
I Listened To Vampire Weekend For The First Time Today And I Regret It
Vampire Weekend dropped a new album today, which is big news in rock because, well, apparently this is the best that rock can offer at this very moment. You might remember Vampire Weekend from when they emerged on the scene over a decade ago, dressing like 1996 and distinguishing themselves from oth...
Playing In New York Doesn’t Matter To Athletes Anymore
Today, we’re talking about Woj, golf nets, bank cafes, Ichiro, pizza rolls, and more....
An Incomplete List Of Things I Can Never Do Again
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....
Should A TV Room Really Have More Than One TV?
Today, we’re talking about science fiction, playoff seeding, mortadella, microwaves, and more....
What Is The Best Plate Shape?
Today, we’re talking about Game of Thrones, pizza pilgrimages, movie knowers, bad candy bars, and more....