lsd Page 6 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Un-Fucking-Real
He was finished. He was disgraced, hobbled, and eaten alive by the ravages of both fame and time. His story was over; it was simply a matter how clumsily it would end and how long it would take for that end to finally arrive....
The Terrible Private Highway Racket Is Coming For My House
You probably missed it because it falls squarely within the genre of normal, pre-2016 government malfeasance, but this week, according to the Washington Post, Maryland state Senator Nancy King (D) shot down a bill that would have made it more difficult for the state’s Republican governor to add toll...
When Is The Best Time To Take A Dump?
Today, we’re talking about wallets, watching sports alone, asshole coaches, and more....
Confessions Of A Tooth Grinder
I grind my teeth at night. This is because I live in America, and every day living here tells my subconscious that it would be a wise idea for me to bite clean through my own jaw. I had no idea that I was doing this until years ago when my old dentist, a very nice man who would accidentally fart out...
They’re Gonna Fuck Up This New <i>Joker</i> Movie And I’m Already Annoyed
In theory, I am the ideal target audience for this new Joker trailer because I am the kind of broad-minded jackass who would shell out $12 for anything Joker-related, and because I’m one of five people who won’t openly recoil at the idea of a gritty PG-13 Joker origin story shot exclusively as an ho...
Onions, Ranked
Today, we’re talking about pizza, worst places to die, the NCAA tournament, and more....
Will Cain Was The Salty Butt Of The Only Good April Fools' Joke
April Fools’ jokes are always exhausting or unoriginal or impressively tone deaf, except when, every once in a while, they’re not. And this year, it was ESPN of all places that managed to pull off a genuinely good April Fools’ Day prank, mostly because the butt of the joke was ESPN’s resident idiot ...
Would You Rather Be Born Old Or Die Young?<em></em>
Today, we’re talking about Scott Van Pelt, rich assholes in space, flipping the bird, and more....
My Kids Won’t Stop Gaslighting Me<em></em>
If you’ve been around these internet parts for the past few years, you know all about gaslighting, wherein people stand behind a lie so fervently that they compel others to believe it as well, leaving marks unsure as to what is true and what really is the name of Apple CEO Tim Apple....
And Now, Your Worst Roommate Horror Stories
I have very few, if any, roommate horror stories scattered throughout my personal history, which means that I, like the oblivious sucker at a poker table, am likely the nightmare roommate in stories of OTHER people. Take my friend Fred, for example (not his real name). In 1999, Fred crashed at my st...
Stop Excusing Tom Izzo’s Assholery<em></em>
The only thing more predictable than Tom Izzo going apeshit on one of his own players, to the point where MSU freshman forward Aaron Henry’s teammates had to actively restrain the head coach, was the parade of dipshits and assholes rushing to Izzo’s defense and framing any criticism of his sideline ...
Bubble Teams Belong In Hell
Today, we’re talking about chicken pot pie, the NCAA tournament, dirty belts, and more....
The 2018(ish) Hater’s Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog
[greets you at the door while wearing a frayed holiday sweater; offers you curdled egg nog]...
Should The NFL Support Medicare For All?<em></em>
Today, we’re talking about baths, grocery store timing, quotable movies, Bryce Harper, and more....
Stop Enabling Barstool's Shit
Barstool Sports, a site for boys who wanna grow up to be Donald Trump Jr., is getting shit on this week. This is a justified shitting-on, because comedian Miel Bredouw called out the site for using a video that she made without giving her credit—in fact, we found they sometimes upload pilfered conte...
What Is The Optimum Office Food?<em></em>
Today, we’re talking about basketball, Joe Lunardi sucking, conductors, vengeance, and more....
What Is The Optimum Office Food?<em></em>
Today, we’re talking about basketball, Joe Lunardi sucking, conductors, vengeance, and more....
College Basketball Coaches Are Too Famous<em></em>
Today, we’re talking about Bojangles, Bob Kraft, burnt hot dogs, and more....
The Hater’s Guide To The 2019 Oscars
I remember I used to have a hard time waiting for the Oscars to arrive. I shit you not. I would get super jazzed for them, then roll my eyes at the prospect of having to wait for months between the end of the movie year and the stupid ceremony. I, uh, no longer feel this way. The Oscars come around ...
Let Football Players Wear The Glue Gloves<em></em>
Today, we’re talking about birth plans, diarrhea, weird doctors, and more....