meth Page 5 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Financial Institutions (And the Mets) Aren't the Only Things Collapsing in Epic Failure
Michael Bertin writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin. A funny thing happened on the way to the San Siro. Actually, it wasn't funny at all, but with the Special One lining up his charges against the Boys from Brazil (Pato, Kaka, Ronaldinho), Milan v. Inter seemed the likely footy fodder for the...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after e-mailing all your pirate friends ... • College football: Baylor at Connecticut (8 p.m., ET). Ouch! Right in the Briles! [ESPN2] • MLB: Minnesota at Tampa Bay (7 p.m., ET). Locking antlers for right to lead the American League herd. [ESPN] • Golf: PGA Tour, Viking Classic, second...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after the court stenographer reads back the dog's testimony ... • Kansas at South Florida (8 p.m., ET). Go Bulls! [ESPN2] • MLB: Tampa Bay at New York Yankees (7 p.m., ET). We welcome our new filter-feeding overlords. [ESPN] • Golf: Nationwide Tour, Albertsons Boise Open, second round ...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after surviving the terrible Canadian meat probe (well, I suppose that's better than a giant zucchini probe) ... • Basketball: Hall of Fame Enshrinement Ceremony, at Springfield, Mass. (7:30 p.m., ET). Patrick Ewing, Cathy Rush, Pat Riley, Hakeem Olajuwan, Dick Vitale and Adrian Dantle...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you figure out where the hell Rick Chandler ran off to.... • MLB: New York Yankees at Tampa Bay (7 p.m., EST): The reanimation of Carl Pavano continues as he attempts to win his third game in a row for the Yankees without having one of his body parts fall off on the mound. [ESPN]...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after you get home via the awesome power of beer ... • Boxing: Champion Matt Godfrey vs. Emmanuel Nwodo, in Uncasville, Conn. (9 p.m., ET). Title Wave engulfs Mohegan Sun Arena. [ESPN2] • College football: Temple at Army (7 p.m., ET) [ESPN Classic]; Southern Methodist at Rice (8 p.m., ...

Your Fourth Of July Throwgasm Breakdown
Drew Magary's Balls Deep column runs every Thursday afternoon. Except this week, due to the holiday. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," featuring 100% new material, is available for pre-order here. You can email Drew here....

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

About Last Night
What you missed while realizing that you can't go more than six months without seeing this video ... • MLB: Mariners fire John McLaren, promise more housecleaning; won't be satisfied until Ichiro is left standing on field by himself. • Beijing Olympics: Dwyane Wade to be named to U.S. Olympic basket...

Hank Steinbrenner Is Just Boiling Over With Ideas
Pity the poor New York media. (A group in which, it occurs to us with a start, we are about to be considered a member.) They're so wistful for the old days of George Steinbrenner that they're desperately trying to shoehorn son Hank, the slow one, into the role. It's not working....

About Last Night
What you missed while being reminded once again that you don't mess with the Zohan ... • NBA: That's what you get for turning off the game in the third quarter. Celtics take 3-1 series lead over Lakers. • Golf: You can all just eat Kevin Streelman's U.S. Open dust, suckers! • NHL: All your Lester B....

Jimmy Rollins Is Recognizable
The Gray Lady has an amusing piece today limning a day in the life of the slavering subhuman horde that is the habitual autograph hound. The column tags them as "Sharpie-wielding stalkers," which might be a terrible slight to stalkers everywhere. I mean, at least most stalkers know who they're purs...

About Last Night
What you missed due to a slight preoccupation with porn ... • MLB: A.J. Burnett provides Canada some good news for a change. Blue Jays 3, Red Sox 0. • NBA: Kevin Durant wins NBA Rookie of the Year award. Seattle sues to keep trophy from moving to Oklahoma City. • NHL: Rangers postpone the inevitable...

About Last Night
What you missed while fleeing random monkey violence ... • NBA: Celtics win on St. Patrick's Day. This would be significant if any of their players were Irish. • MLB: Mr. Baseball ... Matsuzaka to start for Red Sox in Japan opener. • NHL: Wild beat Avalanche to climb into first. Thank you for watchi...

Robert Z. Nemeth Doesn't Care About Oddly Shaped Balls
Know what's great? (Besides those Jimmy Dean microwaveable breakfast sandwiches. Mmm mmm. I'm not actually sure why I brought this up, it's really a tangential point to the entire post.) Opinion columns written by old men who complain about everything. Enter the fray, Robert Z. Nemeth, about how foo...

The Coldest Bikini Fans In NFL History
We have to say, in the annals of Cameras Capturing People Suffering From A Ridiculously Small Amount Of Clothing While At Sporting Events In Below-Zero Temperatures history, this might be one of the more pleasant shots....

About Last Night ...
What you missed while making Baghdad's first-ever snow infidels... • NHL: Wild top Blackhawks 5-2 as Josh Harding saves 41; 300 wounded. • NBA: LeBron James leads Cavs to: (a) win, (b) loss, (c) the locker room at halftime, (d) none of the above, (e) both a and c. • Justice system: Bail shocks O.J. ...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as clowns surround your house and lob in water balloons ... • College basketball: Memphis at Cincinnati, 7 p.m. (ET). My bearcat and I will be right in front of the TV. [ESPN2] • NBA: Detroit at Boston, 7 p.m. (ET); Phoenix at Dallas, 9:30 p.m. (ET). Your NBA Playoff semifinalists? Pos...

A Trade That's Just Crazy Enough To Work!
The baseball winter meetings start next week, and that means countless unsubstantiated guesswork and fantasy trade scenarios. That's the fun of it, really; it will distract you from the horror that comes when your team gives $12 million for four years to Kyle Lohse....

Even Jets Fans Are Asking Her Not To Take It Off
Of all the European soccer promotions ever seen, this is by far the most interesting. By which I mean, you may have my eyes now. I have a donor card, so please make sure they go to a worthy recipient, like an NBA ref....