morning Page 20 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
About Last Night
What you missed while preparing to flee into outer space ... • NBA: March toward inevitable Game 7 continues ... Lakers 87, Celtics 81. • MLB: I sense a great disturbance in The Force ... Noooo! • NHL: Ron Wilson, fired by Sharks, finds employment in Canada....
About Last Night
What you missed while trashing your workplace because they took your red stapler ... • NHL: Heart like a wheel ... Wings win Stanley Cup! For Christ's sake, don't drop it! • MLB: Paul Konerko ends our suffering, White Sox beat Royals in 15. • NBA: Suns down to four coaching candidates. Hey, where's ...
About Last Night
What you missed while being assaulted with Moon Pies ... • NBA: Lakers take 3-1 series lead over Spurs, situating themselves perfectly for monumental collapse. • MLB: Let there be light! Santana delivers, as Mets crawl back from the brink of despair, beat Marlins 5-3. • Despite Will's sudden departu...
About Last Night
What you missed while plotting to catch the roadrunner in a perfect storm of ACME mayhem ... • MLB: The Adventures of Robinson Cano ... Yankees strike back, end Rays' win streak. • NBA: Kevin Garnett really does prefer those home uniforms. Celtics 96, Cavaliers 89. • NHL: Stars alive!...
About Last Night
What you missed while leaping onto the Bob Barr Presidential bandwagon ... • NBA: Why Don't We Do It On The Road ... Celtics lose again in Cleveland, evening series 2-all. • MLB: Nick Adenhart gets his first major league victory, then is promptly sent to the minors. Angels 10, White Sox 7. • NHL: Oh...
About Last Night
What you missed while shooting your father in the butt ... • NBA: Utah Jazz urged to quit race so that the Lakers can concentrate on John McCain. • MLB: Polanco vs. Papelbon = Tigers 10, Red Sox 9. • NFL: Patriots submit tapes to league, but there's an 18-minute gap....
About Last Night
What you missed while failing to control your buffalo ... • MLB: Miguel Tejada celebrates one of his many birthdays with four hits, leading Astros over Padres 10-3. • NHL: Whoo-hoo-hoo, look who knows so much. It just so happens that your friend here, Alex Ovechkin, is only MOSTLY dead. Capitals 4, ...
About Last Night
What you missed while judging coffee-flavored beer ... • NBA: Pau! Right in the kisser ... Gasol's 36 lead Lakers over Nuggets in Game 1. • NHL: Duck Soup ... Dallas moves on to second round after 4-1 win over Anaheim. • MLB: Like zombies and Hillary Clinton, Red Sox simply will not stay buried....
About Last Night
What you missed while inventing a bike while drunk ... • College basketball: The free throw, she no go in so good. Kansas 75, Memphis 68, OT. • MLB: Walk-off grand slam? Cooool. Angels 6, Indians 4. • NFL: David Garrard signs seven-year, $60 million deal with Jaguars; will still be 12th quarterback ...
About Last Night
What you missed while the tigers were improving their record to 2-0 ... • College women's basketball: It'll be Stanford vs. Tennessee for all the Skittles, just as you predicted. • NHL: In retrospect, perhaps resting Crosby wasn't wise. • NBA: Look out, the Sonics are making their move. Seattle 151,...
A Final Four Without One Shining Moment
England's the country with the silent "u" in a lot of words, like colour and parlour, right? Yet both Brits and Yanks spell it "Final Four." And what's the deal with Ovaltine? Britain's FA Cup is down to four (finally!), starting the semifinal madness with West Bromfield Albion and Portsmouth. Neith...
About Last Night
What you missed while Herb Peterson was laid to rest on a toasted, buttered English muffin ... • NBA: Ha. People are starting to call them the C's, now. (Please stop it). Boston 117, Phoenix 97. • Soccer: Beckham reaches 100-game milestone, is awarded a nice shiny yellow card. • NHL: Presenting your...
The Kelvin Sampson Era Is Officially Over
Kelvin Sampson and the University of Indiana have reached an agreement that will pay the coach $750,000 to get the fuck out of Bloomington. The overzealous recruiter has also agreed not to sue the school for wrongful termination. Although the Hoosiers have rid themselves of Sampson they still have a...
Mike And Mike, Sad Media Folk And The Fox Sports Grill
Because of a missed appointment, after we filed our Sporting News column last night, we spent the evening stranded at a cheesy Glendale sports bar, waiting for a cab that never came. (We literally spent four hours roaming around the greater Phoenix area doing nothing last night. We miss public trans...
About Last Night
What you missed while changing your Facebook status ... a lot ... • NHL: Ovechkin "strikes out" in SuperSkills' breakaway challenge. • NBA: Bzzzzzzz ... Hornets sting Spurs by 24 to take the top spot in the West. • Tennis: Djokovic imitates Djokovic winning the Australian Open....
So, Um, Yeah, About Last Night
What you missed while pissing mediocrity ... • NBA: Kobe's 40 not enough to beat Mavs. 48 would've done the trick though. • Golf: Tiger leads Buick by four-strokes at 12-under. *Silent pump fist* • Tennis: Sex sells ... and wins. Sharapova claims her third Grand Slam title with a 7-5, 6-3 victory ov...
ESPN Sends Dana Jacobson Away For A Week
The official word has come down: Dana Jacobson has been suspended by ESPN for a week following her apparent meltdown at the Mike and Mike Roast....