mot Page 43 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Mentos-And-Coke Car Propels Us Into The Future
Two mad geniuses have invented a rocket car, powered only by the dark magic of Mentos and soda. It's already the second-most popular vehicle class in the country, ahead of open-wheeled racing....

Which One Of These Geniuses Do You Think Ran Onto Wrigley Field Yesterday?
"Dude" or "Sweet." Take your time. Think it over. Would "Dude," with his tilted hat, be brave enough to do it even though he doesn't appear to be wearing enough sunblock? Or will "Sweet" do the honors?...

Texas Speedway Honors 87-Year-Old Benefactor By Killing Him In Fiery Crash
The WWII vet was honored — for "a lifetime of blood donations" — with a ride at Texas Motor Speedway when his car plowed into the wall, killing him. How will they honor him for his organ donations? [AP]...

Look, They Made Soccer Fun!
Perhaps the Scottish Premier League isn't the best quality of play, but Motherwell's four goals in the last 25 minutes to salvage a 6-6 draw — with a Europa League spot on the line — still makes for a classic match....

Dez Bryant's Non-Streetwalking Mother Upset That Jeff Ireland Has Not Apologized To Her
"No, he has not called. I think he should have. Why wouldn't you do that?," she complained to Fanhouse. Maybe Ireland still thinks he would risk a solicitation charge if he called her directly....

Sausage Race Nearly Ends In Vehicular Manslaughter
Milwaukee's annual Opening Day Beef Tube Relay Race took a hilarious, nearly tragic turn when the Italian sausage was almost run over by its police escort. When did Randall Simon become a cop? [Last Angry Fan; video via]...

<em>The New Yorker</em> Makes Highbrow Blogger-In-Basement Joke You'll Set Aside But Never Get Around To Reading (UPDATE)
Ben McGrath takes up the slumming-dandy-goes-to-a-ballgame mantle from Roger Angell (who should be filing his account of the 2003 World Series any day now) and manages not only to name-check this humble site but let drop the bonnest of mots:...

"It Wasn't Death. It Was The Ghost Of Dale Earnhardt, And He Was Smoking A Marlboro Red."
SBNation's Spencer Hall, America's Tackling Dummy, raced six terrifying laps at Talladega and realized the competitors who do this for a living are "Completely. Barking. Mad." Carve out some time to read it all. You won't be disappointed. [SBNation]...

Terrified Children Still Being Thrown, Taunted By Angry Sheep
It's been a while since we've had a quality bustin' incident featured here, but thankfully the heartless marketing team of the Colorado Mammoth's professional lacrosse organization recently let the mighty sheep embarrass some over-matched tots during halftime. Mutton victorious....

Utah Will Never Play In a Championship Bowl Game, How to Win an NCAA Pool, and Other Swell Advice from a Departing Gawker Writer
Hello Deadspin readers! My name's Foster. This is my last weekend writing for Gawker. I've written for you jockstrap-sniffing cretins before, but this will be maybe my last chance to do so. So while AJ's over there, here're some words:...

Bus Fightin' Man Already An Oakland Legend
As noted earlier, the punchy old man who likes to deliver beat downs on Oakland bus riders appears to have been identified and it was not, as they say, "his first rodeo."...

Old Man Gives Young Whippersnapper What For (UPDATE)
Word to the wise: When a (possibly racist) 67-year-old man wearing an "I AM a motherfucker" t-shirt gives you guff on an Oakland bus, just let it go. Or go home and get your shine box....

This Dog Likes Racing Dirt Bikes
Well, I wouldn't say "likes racing" them, so much as "clings to the handlebars frozen in terror as his owner races them."...

Sixers Have Something For Everyone, Except Basketball Fans
Philly hired a VH1 reality show host to give lonely fans dating advice, and next week sees a postgame concert from noted NBA player favorite Matisyahu. The Iverson sideshow's not moving as many tickets as hoped, methinks. [NBA/NBA]...

A New, Moderately Offensive Podcast Is Open For Business
Please go take a listen to the Spider And The Henchman show on Adam Carolla's podcast network. I'm honored I was picked to be their first guest. Topics of note: Tiger, Magic's HIV, and Eddie Murphy's tranny parties. Gurgle. [SpiderAndTheHenchman]...

Ladies And Gentlemen, Allow Me To Present Your UFL Champions, The Las Vegas Locomotives
The Jim Fassel-coached Las Vegas Locomotives beat the Florida Tuskers 20-17 in overtime in front of 14,801 fans to claim the first UFL championship. And what a way to cap off a thrilling, pressure-packed UFL season. [Las Vegas Sun]...

The Perfect Gift For The Kris Brown Fan In Your Life
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Basement Tapes: A Compendium Of Sportswriters' Hacky Jokes About Bloggers
Woody Paige, the orange person always yelling on your television set, recently disagreed with someone on the Internet. He then made a joke suggesting that the blogger still lives in his mother's house. Have you heard this one?...

Coach Tries Knife Threats To Get Through To Players
Revolutionary motivational techniques from a prep school football assistant coach: practice harder or I'll cut you....

Un-Rubbed Balls Create Sticky Situation For Cardinals
John Smoltz thinks the reason he got roughed up last night is because his balls were not properly rubbed down. Yet, opposing pitcher Bronson Arroyo threw just fine. Is it because he was rubbing something special on his own balls?...