my Page 168 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
It's Good To Be Jimmy Johnson
On a lazy Friday afternoon, we present to you, apropos of nothing, a montage of Jimmy Johnson looking ridiculous....
About Last Night
What you missed while playing full-contact Scrabble ... • College football: Miami bids farewell to Thursday nights at the Orange Bowl by squeezing the pulp out of Texas A&M. • MLB: Brett Tomko is winning games? Seriously? Padres within a half-game of Diamondbacks for NL West lead. • Cycling: Oscar P...
The Yankees 2 1/2 Games Back? Inconceivable!
Well, today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day (as if I had to tell you), and fittingly we must report that the Dread Pirate Roberts is now in sight of the first-place Red Sox, and gaining rapidly. The Yankees, who were 14 1/2 games behind Boston in May, are now well within striking distance wi...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as global warming melts your cold, indifferent heart ... • MLB: Atlanta at New York Mets. It's Mr. Met's September victory lap. [ESPN] • Chicago Cubs at Houston. Back into first, or slip 'n slide toward doom? [WGN] • UFC: UFC Unleashed. It's either this or 5 a.m. women's soccer. [Spike...
College Games You'd Wade Through A Pile Of $#!+ To See
Only two games this weekend feature ranked opponents going head-to-head. But there are still plenty of intriguing non-conference matchups on the schedule. And you never know when a highly ranked team will shit the bed against an unworthy foe. Could Florida lose to Troy? Anything's possible now....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after the Killer Maneating Terror Of Coney Island is finally captured ... • MLB: Los Angeles Dodgers at Chicago Cubs. First place ... fun while it lasted. [ESPN] [WGN] • Tennis: U.S. Open, men's and women's quarterfinals, at New York. How can we go on without Rafael Nadal? (I'll miss h...
Brett Myers Wishes To Clear The Air
Only one apology in this edition of Who's Sorry Now?, if we're not counting Michael Vick. It's Phillies reliever Brett Myers, who expresses regret over calling Philadelphia Inquirer reporter Sam Carchidi "a retard" during a terse exchange Saturday. Myers had given up a couple of home runs against th...
The Ned Campaign Pulls Out All the Stops
We of course will provide equal time to any don't-vote-for-Ned videos....
Pacman's Job For The Next Year
You're Pacman Jones. You can't play in the NFL for a year because "The Man" has suspended you. You can't participate in TNA Wrestling because your former team served you with a restraining order pretty much preventing you from doing anything that would cause a scratch on your finger. What is a boy t...
My Long Nightmare Might be Over
Oh frabjous day! A report in today's Philadelphia Inquirer says what Phillies Phans have longed to hear since that horrible afternoon of July 26: If he gets the OK from hand surgeon Randall Culp, Chase Utley could be back in the lineup in time for the Mets series at Citizens Bank Park next week. Fro...
You Can't Tell, But Howie Long Is Erect
If we know our average Deadspin reader, you were obviously watching "Fox & Friends" on the Fox News Channel this morning. But just in case ... Richard Simmons was hanging out with the FOX NFL Sunday crew. Finally, someone who makes Jimmy Johnson look well dressed, and Terry Bradshaw look less gay. ...
Best.Draft.Ever.
I know that nobody likes hearing about other people's fantasy football lives— but this could be an exception. The intrepid Andy Behrens of Yahoo! Fantasy! gathered up a group of 12 sports bloggers to form the Tank Johnson Desert Classic. The league is a highly volatile experiment that Behrens will c...
Wizards, They Love Them Hos
Good rule of thumb: When a professional athlete is arrested for solicitation of a prostitute, we are required to write about it, even if that athlete only average 3.7 points a game last year....
At Least They Didn't Play The Star-Spangled Banner
It's a beautiful day in Iraq. (Really!) The Iraqi soccer team brought some rare joy to a nation that's, uh, in some turmoil by winning the Asian Cup. Everyone's ecstatic, it's something to cheer about, it's a wonderful thing. And then....
I knew well in advance that I'd come out of the Winky Wright/Bernard Hopkins fight frustrated, confuse, and unfulfilled like Katie Holmes' first romantic encounter with Tom Cruise. Truthfully I can't even bring myself to write up my thoughts on the fight, besides, I feel as if I've already inundated...
The Night Time Is The Right Time
It's been confirmed that David Beckham will not start tonight in his debut with the LA Galaxy, however he has indicated that he will suit up and play. The questions remaining are at what point will he enter the game, and how long will his tender pussy ankle allow him to go on. Blah blah blah. The re...