my Page 169 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
What ESPN DOESN'T WANT YOU TO HEAR!
We still haven't watched the ESPYs from Sunday night, because, we dunno, it's the summer, and sometimes we like to pretend that the sun actually exists and will welcome us. From most accounts, though, the show was as tolerable as one could have hoped. We have no major issue with Jimmy Kimmel — not a...
ESPN's Secret Interoffice Complaint Memorandum
Sometimes we forget, in all the frustrations and angst that watching ESPN causes us, that Bristol really is just an office. An office with a cafeteria, a human resources department, water coolers, parking spaces and football analysts who take pictures of their penis. It's like all of our offices. So...
Tommy Morrison Is A Deep Thinker
One would think "boxer" Tommy Morrison's constant claims that AIDS is "an invented virus" making money for the drug industry, and that "heterosexuals can't transmit the virus" would inspire people to stop taking him seriously and no longer listen to him. That hasn't worked, but maybe his new enlight...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while wondering what the heck everyone is laughing about ... • Running of the Bulls: Six more people gored today as the bulls threaten to turn this one into a rout. • Soccer: U.S. Under-20 World Cup team beats nation of 1.7 million with a 20 percent unemployment rate. • Fencing: Braz...
To Watch Tonight
• 7 p.m. — Arena Football Playoffs: Philadelphia Soul at Georgia Force. You can't force soul on people. It has to come naturally. [ESPN2] • 8 p.m. — MLB: Atlanta Braves at San Diego Padres. Greg Maddux pitching against his former team, making for a riveting storyline three years ago. [ESPN] • 8 p.m....
Greg Oden Can Only Improve On His Foul Trouble From Here
I knew there was an underlying reason notable tall dude Greg Oden went to the NBA after one year in college. It couldn't have been just the money, or the chance to be picked No. 1 overall. No, It had to be for the NBA rule that you foul out after six, not five like in college. Or maybe it was the al...
What Will Be Cut From This Year's ESPY Awards?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....
They Nominated Carl Monday For Another Emmy .. For THAT Story!
When we stumbled across the infamous Carl Monday / Mike Cooper / library masturbation story more than a year ago, we were stunned when we learned that the Deadspin Hall of Famer had, in fact, won several Emmys. Could this be right? Was the library story just a rare misstep in a career of legitimate ...
Two players, 22 inches. That's the height difference between Minnesota Minor League baseball teammates Ludovicus Van Mil (7-foot-1 pitcher) and Christopher Cates (5-3 shortstop); quite possibly the greatest height differential between teammates in all of sports. Well, if you don't count horse racing...
Come Celebrate An Old Man's Victory Lap
Not that any of you were wondering, but this is clearly why Sammy Sosa came back after "retiring:" He gets to make this ridiculous face in front of a stadium full of fans who still aren't quite sure what to think of him....
The Real Irony Is They Just Mopped That Street
Many years from now, when we all have personal jet packs and Brett Favre finally retires, mop jousting will be as commonplace at buttered toast. ESPN will have four channels devoted to it, all hosted by Mike Golic. Your kid will be in a mop jousting league. Every family will own at least seven mops....
Baseball Remains Very Good To Sammy Sosa
As the last smidgen of interleague play fades from our consciousness — and we'll never forget that magical June of 2007! — we lament, for a moment, that tonight's Rangers-Cubs game will be played in Arlington rather than at Wrigley. We would love to see how Sammy Sosa's homecoming to the Friendly Co...
Farewell And Adieu To You Fair Spanish Ladies
Just in case David Beckham has any ideas about sticking around in Europe, Tom Cruise and wife Katie Holmes were on hand to make sure that he gets on that plane for LA. Sunday's farewell game was a magical moment for Beckham's rooting section (that's Victoria toting Imp Spice next to the Cruises), as...
About Last Night
• MLB. Rangers 7, Reds 6. Sammy Sosa's 599th home run dramatically lifts the Rangers to just 17 games under .500. • WNBA. Chicago Sky 73, New York Liberty 66. Having already equaled their win total from last year, the Chicago Sky are neither blue nor falling. • MLB. Mets 2, Yankees 0. Sooner or late...
Baseball Fans Search For Loopholes On Billy Donovan Night
We are not here to mock you, Billy Donovan. Yes, you backed out of your $27.5 million deal to coach the Orlando Magic; but we feel your pain. Steve Spurrier feels your pain. Homer and Ned feel your pain. And the Fort Myers Miracle minor league baseball team, they ... well, OK, they're here to mock y...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as your wife knits you a personality ... • NBA: Finals, San Antonio at Cleveland, Game 3. Will this be Cavalicious, or Spurtacular? [ABC] • WNBA: Washington at New York. Forget the game ... we must dance! [ESPN2] • MLB: Rockies at Red Sox. If God had meant these teams to meet he wouldn...
The Substitute Has Arrived
Good morning! Dan Shanoff here. (First things first: I cannot dunk, obviously. That photo to the right was taken on a 7-foot rim, and even then I needed a boost.)...
A Q&A With Gov. Tommy Thompson
Unlike most of the rest of America, we're already entranced by the 2008 Presidential race, even though we're, uh, still 17 months away from the election. (We have a history of being way too into this business way too early.) At this point, most candidates are just trying to raise money and elbow for...
Hog Kid Gets Swiftboated ... We Suppose It Was Inevitable
The legend of Hogzilla II ... was it all a hoax? Did 11-year-old Jamison Stone really down a 1,000-pound feral pig in the Alabama woods, or was he home watching The Andy Griffith Show that day? As a couple of commenters pointed out yesterday, the size of said pig may have been via Photoshop. And in ...
Mark Cuban Has A Thing For Girdle Pads
Finally, a pro football league with second-rate players which plays on Friday nights in places like San Antonio and Sacramento. It's like someone has been recording our dreams!...