ness Page 132 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Go From A 16 Seed To A No Seed
MVN Outsider points to a snippy (tee hee) promotion that ensures that if, you know, you're a fella who wants an excuse to watch the entire NCAA Tournament and also is interested in rendering himself sterile, you needn't wait until after the tourney....

The Animal Uprising Claims Pat Summitt
As a sobering reminder that no humans will be spared when the animal "Order 66" is given, Tennessee Lady Vols head coach Pat Summitt dislocated her shoulder while attempting to chase a raccoon off her back porch on Wednesday....

Big Ten Pets Are Ready For March Madness/Snausages
Poor Cuddles. Ever since Kelvin Sampson left Indiana, he has refused to leave his bucket. And as the NCAA Tournament approaches, I think we can all identify ... obsessing over our own team's weaknesses; sitting as we are in our own metaphorical buckets of regret. Except that I'm wearing mine on my h...

The Madness Begins Tonight
The College Basketball Closer is written by the gang at Storming the Floor....

The Vols Have Soul In The Strangest Places
Let's see Tyler Smith or Chris Lofton pull this off. We gotta tell ya, Jordan Howell is SHAFT....

ESPN Now To Issue Pepper Spray To All TV Correspondents
This was mentioned on Sunday, but was kind of buried ... and when Bruce Pearl paws the lovely Erin Andrews on national television, the world needs to know. Too bad that Ms. Andrews didn't read the Tennessee Athletic Handbook; it clearly states that when dealing with Bruce Pearl a microphone can a...

China Will Decide What Movies You Watch, Got It?
Oh China, what are we going to do with you? Mere hours after the first high-profile lawmaker called for a boycott of the Beijing Olympics opening ceremonies, the Chinese government responded to concerns about its record on human rights the way that you thought it would: By banning scary movies. Yep,...

Deadspin Is Your Alls Daddy, So Why Hate?
You may know John Adams as the Founding Father who would one day support author David McCullough and his family for the better part of two decades. But that name also belongs to the current sports editor/columnist of the Knoxville News-Sentinel, John Adams, who has been notoriously critical of Tenne...

The Patriots Petition: Greatest Hits
Time to check in on the petition for the NFL to investigate the final 1:40 of Super Bowl XLII, as seen on Petition Online.com (and mentioned here on Saturday). Petitions on this site are usually pretty tepid, bewildering affairs: Take for example petition for the betterment of UNC football (26 signa...

Prepare Thyself For ... Pac Man Jones Strip Club News
OK, now we hope you are sitting down. Take a drink of water. Relax. Deep breaths. OK. Are you ready? Are you really ready? Because you're gonna need some time to digest this one: Pac Man Jones is in trouble with the law again....

Chargers vs. Titans, Second Half and Goodnight
It's been a while since I last checked in, but it's still the same football game. We're well into the third quarter of the final game of Wild Card Weekend '08 Bukkake and this game is dragging along with a score of 6-3. Tennessee is winning, Floats (pictured) i really crappy, and LaDainian is still...

Chargers vs. Titans, This Time It's For Real
You thought Philip Rivers was needlessly cocky before? Well it's playoff time baby, time to step up the douche! The real key is to see just how close Norv Turner can keep this thing. Nobody holds back a dynamic team in the playoffs like Norv Turner! Enjoy, and stay tuned after the jump......

NFL Wild Card Pants Party: Chargers Vs. Titans
Finally ... the game everyone can agree on, right? Blowout, yes? Vince Young crying on the sidelines while Merril Hoge cackles? Yes?...

Tom Brady Wants You To Buy Some Water
Glaceau smartwater; magic elixir of the Gods. Too bad it wasn't around in 2000, when Brady posed for this photo for the NFL combine. How times have changed. Now our hero is toting the water in a new series of print ads (the real ads can be found here), for which he was paid a reported $3 million. I...

Woe Is The Illini
The Tennessee State Tigers are 4-8, with losses to Belmont, Akron, Colorado State and Southeast Missouri State. It was once known as the Tennessee State Agricultural and Industrial State Normal School for Negroes. Oprah Winfrey went there. And yesterday, they beat our Illini at the Assembly Hall in ...

All Hail The Great Kerry Collins
Tiny tidbits and news niblets from the final week of the NFL season ......

Tonight: Tennessee Titans Vs. Indianapolis Brown Colts
As you no doubt already know, the Titans control their own playoff fate tonight as they battle the Indianapolis Colts in the RCA Dome. Win, and they're in. Lose, and they're ... um ... what's bad and rhymes with lose? Bruised? Sure. Lose, and they're bruised. That, and the Browns get to massage thei...

Florida Atlantic Is Used To Sticking It To Tennessee Schools
Knowing that Howard Schnellenberger built Florida Atlantic's football program using nothing but MacGyver-approved ingredients in a seven-year span, last night's victory over Memphis in the New Orleans Bowl is an extremely uplifting story. They really came out of nowhere to steal the title of Best Up...

Whatever Choice Was Made, It Was Going To Be Wrong
We enjoy this picture of Georgia center Fernando Velasco, taken after the Bulldogs' win over Georgia Tech Saturday, because he is holding an orange. Presumably, a fan through him — and some other Bulldogs — an orange to symbolize the Orange Bowl. This is odd not because Georgia is not going to the O...

Eat Ice, Evil Doers!
In Canada, it's never too early to teach the fundamentals of the national sport, even to eight-year-olds. Inside and outside edges, skating backward, forward crossovers, and if there's a scuffle on the ice you go over the boards and get in a few good shots, son!...