ness Page 133 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
That Gripping AFC West
We will confess, we did not watch the Monday Night Football game last night; we had a concert, the Illini were on and, frankly, we're gonna get enough football in the coming days. But we take solace in knowing there's a division worst than the Buzzsaw's NFC West....
Here We Are, Back In Denver Again
Jeez, didn't Denver just host a "Monday Night Football" game? That's right, they did, just three weeks ago, in the game when Brett Favre made everyone all weepy again. We thought we remember that....
It's Filled With Flaxy Goodness
Sales of flax seed oil have gone through the roof thanks to the constant coverage of one Barry Bonds....
You Have To Triple Team Josh McNeil
Tennessee center Josh McNeil has a history of problems with alcohol, including a public intoxication and underage drinking charge that kept him out of five spring practices, quite the punishment. But after an incident this weekend, we now know the truth: Josh McNeil doesn't have an alcohol problem ....
DC's Mainstream Sports Media Makes Beautiful Music
I haven't the slightest clue whether or not you will care about this story, but I find it positively delightful. The DC sports media (of which I am certainly not a member) conducted quite the karaoke competition and it was all documented in sublime fashion by the master himself, Dan Steinberg....
Two Pair Not A Winning Hand In Kansas
Oh yes we've got trouble! Right here in Salina Kansas! With a capital T and that rhymes with B and that stands for boobs! Here are Salina Central High seniors Jessica Sheahon and Haley Wenthe, modeling salacious T-shirt designs which have been banned from their high school campus. The entire notion ...
Watch Jerry Rice Crank It, Watch Jerry Rice Roll ...
Watch Jerry Rice crank dat Soulja Boy, then Super Man dat ho! I have to admit, I was impressed at how quickly Rice seemed to pick up the steps. Maybe that Dancing With the Stars bull-shit was worth it after all. And hey, is Patrick Ewing Jr. a certified Soulja Boy dance instructor or something? I su...
That'll Be All For The Saints
When our heart bleeds today, it bleeds for Balk: The Saints, after their brief moment of excitement and inspiration, appear to suck again. It was fun while it lasted....
MNF Heads Back To New Orleans
We suspect that tonight's "Monday Night Football" telecast from the Superdome will have the electricity and emotion of last year's MNF game, if just because we don't think Bono's gonna make the trip this year. (However: "Cowboy Mouth" will be in the house!_...
Is It Wrong To Do It With An Opposing Team's Fan?
To this day, our favorite ESPN commercial remains the one where the male Ohio State fan and the female Michigan fans make out with each other. There's something primal about our reaction to it; it seems grotesque, somehow, like cousins French kissing, or a dog doing it with a sheep. Sleeping with yo...
Some First Half Updates...Quickly
Since all of us PC folk are now watching these games via streaming video, these updates are just for you Mac people. But, hey, Jeff Goldblum still thinks, uh, that you're, ah, a great guy-ee!...
A Quick Thought On Fantasy Football (Take 2)
I am in four fantasy leagues this year. Last year I was in eight. I'm also the proud owner of two keeper leagues, in both of which I am commissioner. When someone asked me why I would willingly serve as such a glutton for punishment, I replied simply, "I would rather be the guy in charge."...
It's The AFC South Pants Party
Come on, somebody ... don't pick the Colts. We dare ya. Some picks! • AJ Daulerio: Colts, Titans, Jaguars, Texans. • Kissing Suzy Kolber: Colts, Jaguars, Texans, Titans. • Robert Weintraub, Slate: Colts, Jaguars, Titans, Texans. • Matt Pitzer, USA Today: Colts, Titans, Texans, Jaguars. • Aaron Sc...
The Fantasy Assassins
Considering most of you — unless you happened to draft using Yahoo's fantasy game last night — have already held your fantasy football drafts, you are, today, in the lone moment over the next three months when you won't be tinkering with your team. Right now, you are strong; your team is awesome! An...
Trees Are No Match For Vols Fans
Ah, the classic liberal enclave of Berkeley. Aging hippies, still listening to Workingman's Dead on 33 rpm, railing against the capitalist system and eating all kinds of food that tastes terrible. Where would we be without them? They remind us of what college campuses used to be like, before everybo...
A Problem Bob Knight Will Never Have
We try not to get too caught in domestic intranquility here — life is messy and ugly sometimes, and it hardly seems something to revel in unless it involves a Christie — but since we were late on it yesterday, and it involves a coaching legend who happens to have a stadium named after her, we feel o...
Pac Man Jones, Making It Pain
Far be it from us to impugn the trustworthiness of professional wrestling, but when a court order comes down saying that the headliner of your pay-per-view event "could not touch or be touched, grapple, shove, throw or have anything thrown at him by anyone working for or watching the show," well, we...
Titans To Pacman: You Shant Pretend Wrestle
When we last left our intrepid yet suspended NFL hero, which was yesterday, we were speculating the possibility of wrestlers exacting revenge on Pacman Jones for what one of Jones' lackeys did to a strip club bouncer-slash-wrestling hopeful. So either the Tennessee Titans are afraid something might ...
NFL Season Preview: Tennessee Titans
Believe it or not, folks, the NFL season is much closer than you can possibly imagine. So close, in fact, that, if we're going to fit in every NFL team preview by the start of the season, we have to go this early. So there you have it....
Kige Ramsey: Behind The Laughter
We all know the legend; now it's time to meet the man. In a rare peek behind the scenes of his YouTube broadcasting empire, Kige Ramsey presents viewers with an actual blooper reel (someone added a laugh track, which really wasn't necessary); plus, he gives us an exclusive look at the top of the ve...