ness Page 136 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Pac-Man Jones/George Jones Collaboration
Some kind of incident involving an all-terrain vehicle, Pac-Man Jones, and his neighbor, country music legend George Jones, has forged a friendship between Pac-Man and George (no relation). I expect them to release an album together very soon....
What The Kids In Nashville Are Up To
This is Tennessee Titans wide receiver Drew Bennett, from yesterday's Tennessean, reminding us once again how happy we are that they let white people play football....
The Matsuzaka Has Landed
Well, the world of Red Sox fans can breathe a sliver easier this morning; Daisuke Matsuzaka has signed his (reasonable, really) deal and is now officially a target of the Boston faithful. We find it amusing that one of the first things he had to do when his plane landed was undergo a physical; tur...
Pac Man Gets His Ride Back
You might remember, about a month ago, when the car belong to Titans defensive back Pac Man Jones went up for a police auction. We wondered then who, in fact, might want a car with the official Pac Man logo stitched into the headrest....
Brandon Jacobs Is Not Impressed With The Titans
We admire Giants touchdown sponge Brandon Jacobs, not only because he went to Southern Illinois, but because he's making every person we know who drafted Tiki Barber in fantasy football want to kill themselves. (Barber still has one touchdown this year.) We admire him because he's a rookie second-...
Own Pac-Man's Car!
As anyone who has dealt with the difficult nature of car salesmen, you sometimes just don't know whom to trust. Fortunately, there's one place you know you can find a good deal on all your automobile needs: Buying cars that were once owned by troubled NFL players and have now been repossessed and ...
The Vols Aren't Taking It Well
When I saw that three Tennessee football players had been arrested, I just assumed that one of them was Pac Man Jones. It wasn't the Titans, though, it was the Volunteers, who figure if they can't beat some ass on the field, they should beat some ass in the club....
Some Fans Are, Well, "Special"
Sure, you might, on the surface, think that the University of Tennessee calling a boisterous fan at home and asking her to shut the hell up is over the top, rude and all together unacceptable. But, then again, you haven't actually heard her....
NFL Week Five, Update #1
• The Tennessee Titans, eighteen-and-a-half point underdogs, could be in the process of pulling off the upset of the freakin' decade. They lead the Colts 10-0 at the half, behind a beautiful Vince Young touchdown run and a secondary that's held Peyton Manning to 56 yards, and Marvin Harrison without...
We Knew We Were Lame For Letting People With Tees Into Our Birthday Parties
All told, we realize now that our Sunday evening was rather sedate. (Chocolate milk, Fig Newtons and Diner Dash, now that you asked.)...
The Dangers Of The Play-Calling Screens
You know how it goes. It's a hotly contested game of Madden, or NBA Live, or, say, NCAA Football 07, and you played your ass off and you lost on a last-second touchdown and you think your buddy was sneaking looks at your plays and you threw the controller across the room and you tried to get the l...
NFL Pants Party: AFC South
Because the season starts, oh, tomorrow, we figured it was probably time to start laying out some of the predictions for you, division by division. So here's a quick roundup of predictions from around the series of tubes we call the Internet....
NFL Season Preview: Tennessee Titans
We are officially less than a month before the start of the NFL season, so it's probably time to start previewing the monster. The key to the NFL's success — other than fantasy football and gambling, of course — is the rabid nature of its fans. That is to say: You don't see a lot of people painting ...
Raccoons On Reign Of Terror
Most any parent with an older teenaged child knows the drill. First comes that phone call at midnight from a downtown police precinct, notifying you that there has been a mishap with your car. Then comes the question: How did our son/daughter get the keys? Now the Tennessee Titans front office can r...
T-Rac Is Probably Not Going To The Pro Bowl This Year
You wouldn't think that the responsibilities of a mascot would be too difficult to handle. Be nice to kids, jump around like an idiot when the home team scores, clutch your chest and act like you're dying when the away team scores, and throw out some cheap-ass team merchandize to fans who will act...
Expanding The NCAA's Grip On Your Life
The men's NCAA basketball tournament is the one major postseason event that seems perfect. It's not possible for it to fail. It will be exciting. There will not be controversy about the champion. It is the single greatest gambling event that has ever existed. And there are coaches out there who want...
The Kids, They Like The Golf
We've been trying to fire ourselves up for tomorrow's U.S. Open — the amount of morale-pumping required to maintain a face-painting level of excitement for televised golf is sometimes more than we can muster — but we just can't quite regurgitate the same Tiger vs. Phil stories. Sorry. We don't have ...
You Think You Know A Guy ...
For those of you who might not have known, the Tennessee Volunteers have a backup quarterback named Jim Bob Cooter. No, you heard us correctly; we said Tennessee, not Stanford....
They Shoot Theismann, Don't They?
The news appears to be improving for Barbaro, the Kentucky Derby winner who went down during the Preakness with a broken hind leg. Not since that Joe Theisman video did we recoil quite so much during a sporting event (we were all sad when they had to shoot Joe in the lockerroom afterwards, weren't...
Barbaro Cheats; Injures Leg; Will Be Served Later With Fried Rice
The Preakness has come to an end, and there was very little drama involved in determining that there will not be a Triple Crown winner this year. Barbaro jumped out of the gate early and tried to get a head start. He had to be calmed a little bit, and they got him back in the gate. When they start...