now Page 46 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Our One Moment Of Grace, Coming From A Guy Who Pees On Teammates
As Barry Bonds goes to finally break the record this weekend, we hark back to the only real revelatory moment of this "chase:" Greg Maddux's performance against Bonds on Friday night....
Television! Teacher, Mother, Secret Lover
• 1:00 — Golf: Ricoh Women's British Open, Final Round from St. Andrews [ABC] • 1:00 — Golf: WGC Bridgestone Invitational, Final Round from Firestone [CBS] • 2:00 — NASCAR: Nextel Cup: Pennsylvania 500 from Pocono Raceway [ESPN] • 2:00 — Movie: Fletch [AMC] • 3:00 — Tennis: Andy Roddick vs. John Isn...
Wait, So Whose Diapers Is He Changing Then?
We might remember, back in August 2006, that we were somewhat skeptical that the family of Brynn Cameron — the former USC women's basketball player who had Buzzsaw quarterback Matt Leinart's baby — were completely pleased with the whole arrangement. Within a month of this pregnancy announcement, Lei...
The Night Time Is The Right Time
It's been confirmed that David Beckham will not start tonight in his debut with the LA Galaxy, however he has indicated that he will suit up and play. The questions remaining are at what point will he enter the game, and how long will his tender pussy ankle allow him to go on. Blah blah blah. The re...
Tim "Douche" Donaghy Did It and I Called It
The now ex-NBA referee has had a really shitty week, and deservedly so. Just as I predicted Donaghy was identified as the target of the FBI's gambling investigation. While part of me feels for a guy who obviously suffers from a gambling addiction the rest of me is fucking ecstatic. The reason I kept...
German TV Is Shocked To Find Doping In This Establishment
We know we're gonna blow your minds here, but it turns out that there has been a bit of a blood doping scandal at the Tour de France! We know! In cycling! Of all places! You know, you think you can trust a sport. Anyway, a German television station has decided it's had just about enough, thank you v...
ESPN Brings Who's Now In For A Tuneup
You might have thought there would be absolutely no way whatsoever that ESPN could possibly salvage those soul-destroying "Who's Now?" segments. It would be reasonable to think so. But they might have found the only out they had....
Worry Not, Everybody: You'll Be Seeing Plenty Of Bud Selig
We know that you, like us, have been on your proverbial pins and your proverbial needles wondering whether or not baseball commissioner Bud Selig would attend the game in which Barry Bonds destroys our collective faith in humanity by breaking Hank Aaron's home run record. Wonder no longer!...
One More Pittsburgh Pirates Fan Will Stake A Walkout
Earlier this year, Kevin McClatchy released the chair of Pittsburgh Pirates majority owner from his grasp. Since he was on a roll, yesterday he announced he will let go of another cherished title at the end of the year: CEO. Hey, if you love something, let it go. If it finally earns a winning season...
The NFL Wants You To Watch Less Than A Minute Of Their Players
In a move designed to protect the Internet operations of its 32 teams, the pro football league has told news organizations that it will no longer permit them to carry unlimited online video clips of players, coaches or other officials, including video that the news organizations gather themselves on...
Goodnight, Friends
I suspect that it will be surreal when I wake up next Saturday and have nothing to write. There's a good chance I won't know what to do with myself and I'll end up writing an 11,000 word essay on why I suspect that Ron Gardenhire suffers from erectile dysfunction....
What The Hell's Going On With This Redesign?
As you surely notice looking around the site, there's some massive design changes going on. (You'll notice that it looks suspiciously similar to Gawker.) We're not exactly sure how this is all gonna work either, and we're working through it ourselves, but let's try to explain what's going on and the...
China Insists That Boston And Philly Are Grand Places For The Chinese
The NBA Draft is now just three days away, and since everybody knows how the first two picks are going down, the main intrigue — other than the usual sartorial speculation — involves the three Florida players and Chinese mystery Yi Jianlian. He's either Dirk Nowitzki or Wang Zhi-Zhi, and he's either...
All The Big Stars Come Out To St. Louis
Texas Tech coach Bob Knight and "Arliss" — sorry: "Arli$$" — star Robert Wuhl were guests of Cards manager Tony La Russa during last night's brutal, nasty, hideously played 14-inning Cardinals-Royals game. (The Cardinals won, but it was not something they should be proud of.)...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while the new White Stripes melts your face off • College baseball: World Series, at Omaha, UC Irvine vs. Arizona State. ZOT! [ESPN2] • Golf: CVS/pharmacy Charity Classic, final round, at Barrington, R.I. We could go on about this, but it doesn't have anything to do with Tiger's baby, ...
MLB Reminds You That It Owns The Rights To Richie Sexson's Batting Average
Now that Bud Selig has this steroids problem completely under control, he's turning his lawyers loose on the real enemy: Unlicensed fantasy baseball leagues. We eagerly await the first major enforcement incident. We see police shouting instructions into a house through a bullhorn, followed by a paun...
Finally, We Can Love Women's Tennis Once Again (Gurgle) ...
So what, we have freaking robot children now, but we can't invent a female tennis player who is both super smoking hot and amazingly talented? Well that's just a load of ... wait. Ana Ivanovic? Could it be true?...
When Every Match Is A Friendly
We don't claim to know a lot about soccer,* but we believe that the Romanians are really on to something here. Hoping to stamp out hooliganism at his matches, Steaua Bucharest owner Gigi Becali will from now on play only religious music at the team's home stadium. But that's not all....
We've Always Thought We Kind Of Look Like Youppi
In a clever conceit, the guys at Rivalfish have come up with a comprehensive list of which celebrities look like which major sports team's logos. It sounds gimmick, and it kind of is, but they've certainly put in their research, as evidenced by the (not at ALL offensive!) Chief Nok-a-Homa / Tim Curr...