ns Page 2610 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Bizarro Bill Simmons
From the great Yard Work satirical blog, here's an imaginary (but just barely) selection from Bill Simmons' mailbag:...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... · 11 a.m. MLB with Buster Olney: If you want to write a real bestseller, you should out all the gay Yankees. The entire infield, right? Come on Olney, give! · Noon. MLB with Steve Phillips: Hi, I'm an advertising executive in Manhattan. ...
This Week In Weird Foreign Sports
We tend to find European sports terminology hilarious, mainly because it points to how equally absurd American sports terminology is. We all might know what "a blooper to shallow left" means, but to anyone not intimately familiar with baseball terminology, that's just nonsensical babbling. So here...
Bill Simmons Translator: We Were Little, Swarthy People. No, Really
ESPN Page 2 columnist/national movement Bill Simmons has filed an unusually brief missive about last night's Game 7. You know what that means: It's time for The Bill Simmons Translator!...
We Have To Ask ...
We Have to Ask ... Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... · 11 a.m. MLB with Jerry Crasnick: Are sports agents technically rodents, or members of the weasel family? · 2 p.m. Boxing with Dan Rafael: Hey, wasn't that Tyson trying to sell his pigeons on eBay? · 4 p.m. Poker with...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... · 10 a.m. Fantasy Football Focus: Isn't this June? Instead of devising a seven-month plan to acquire Mark Brunell, shouldn't I be, oh, I don't know, having a life? · Noon. ESPN Golf School: Once again I've strained a tendon trying to lea...
Bill Simmons Translator: He Loved "The The!"
Now that ESPN Serious Journalist Bill Simmons has gotten pretty much every single prediction of the NBA Finals completely wrong, we thought we'd check in with him after last night's Game 6 with ... yes ... The Bill Simmons Translator!...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... Noon. Live From Wimbledon: Next year, how about a division for monkeys? 1 p.m. College World Series: Seriously, is anyone watching? 4 p.m. Baseball with Gary Gillette. Does the 2005 ESPN Baseball Encyclopedia make a better doorstop, or b...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... • Noon. Stump the Schwab: Just about any question involving world history, science, geography or simple arithmetic should do it. • 2 p.m. MLB with Rob Neyer: I think I just heard a noise downstairs. Can you come over? I promise I won't s...
We Have To Ask ...
Suggested questions for today's ESPN SportsNation chatters ... 10 a.m.. Fantasy Baseball Focus: I spent all of Father's Day working out a trade for San Diego pitcher Scott Linebrink. Is it too late to call Dad? 1 p.m.. MLB with Tony Gwynn: How many home runs would you have hit if you weren't so fat?...
Suggested Questions For Today's ESPN Chatters
Suggested questions for today's ESPN chatters 10 a.m.: MLB with Joe Morgan. In these troubling times, any tips on getting through airport security? 11 a.m.: Fantasy Baseball Focus. I've missed so much work that I'm about to be fired, and my wife wants a divorce. Should I pick up Carl Pavano? 2 p.m.:...
McNabb, T.O. Continue Lovers' Spat
A confession: We love the havoc that Terrell Owens is wreaking in Philadelphia. That team was getting too boring and too content; the only thing better would be if he had signed with New England. Besides, while T.O. was playing on a broken leg in the Super Bowl, Donovan McNabb was, almost literall...
Another Bill Simmons Cartoon: Cell Phone
Yay! This Week's "Episode:" "Cell Phone"...
Suggested Questions For Today's ESPN Chatters
Suggested Questions For Today's ESPN.com Chatters 12 p.m.: ESPN Golf School with Ed Bowe. One of my arms is shorter than the other, and O.J. Simpson has been following me for the past eight holes making stabbing motions with his putter. What should I do? 1 p.m.: NBA with Chad Ford. Which do you pref...
Suggested Questions For Today's ESPN Chatters
12:30 p.m.: Wake Forest point guard Chris Paul If you see Julius Hodge in the NBA, will you rap him in the nuts again? Or are you saving that for Shaq?...
Well, At Least He's Not Killing Anyone
AC Milan Unashamed By Liverpool Loss [China Daily]...
Tampa Does What It Can To Please Bill Simmons
In a surprise announcement yesterday, the city of Tampa was awarded the Super Bowl in 2009. In a nod to the constant, insufferable bitching by everybody's favorite Interweb columnist, SportsFrog.com points out a key factor in the decision:...
Bill Simmons Changes Format For 5,234th Time
You know what we admire about Bill Simmons? His rock-solid consistency. Once again, Bill is explaining to us again why his site updates with the regularity of a malfunctioning strobe light. Supposedly — and this was a little confusing — Bill's going to post short items on More Cowbell (exactly th...
Somewhere, Mark Cuban Is Smiling
Charges Dropped Against Hockey Owner Who Punched Referee [Danbury News-Times]...
New Bill Simmons Cartoon Arrives; Oscar In The Mail
The moment you've all been waiting in lines for months for is here: "Season Two" of the Bill Simmons cartoons!...