oh Page 375 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Johnny Damon, Grabbing Himself And Having Sex
Johnny Damon beats off in centerfield. At least, I think that's what she's saying. And you know, she doesn't seem repulsed by the idea... not enough to follow Damon home and mess with his war veteran father, anyway....

Hugh Johnson Project, Update 3
• Does anyone else hear "Please like me! I fit in!" over and over again when Linda Cohn does football highlights? - Derek, Pittsburgh...

Hugh Johnson Project, Update 2
The sideline reporter at the Georgia-CU game just said that Ugga, Georgia's mascot, is "built for pleasure, not speed". Yikes. - Hotwingz0...

Hugh Johnson Project, Update 1
• I just woke up to find that apparently last night I texted my ex-girlfriend in French... I don't speak French. You think thats a bad omen for the Vols? - Mikel, Lexington, KY...

Chad Johnson, Perhaps Unaware Of His Surroundings
So remember that hit Chad Johnson took at the end of the Bengals-Browns game last week? Well, over at The Fanhouse, the omnipotent Mighty MJD found the video of Johnson's postgame "discussion" with reporters. We think maybe he wasn't quite ready for an interview yet....

A Message From A Brother
Yesterday, we told you the sad story of Sgt. Adam Knox, the Ohio State fan who was killed in Iraq over the weekend. HIs brother, regular Deadspin reader Tom Knox, writes about the infamous OSU Iraqi kids picture, his brother's obsession with getting to Columbus, watching Texas-OSU in Iraq and the tr...

A Sad Update From Iraq
You might remember back in June, when Deadspin reader Tom Knox sent us this picture of his brother Sgt. Adam Knox, of Whitehall, Ohio, spreading the Ohio State love in Iraq....

In Case It Slipped Your Mind, Ohio State Still Hates Michigan
For the record, we're pretty sure that the Pat Forde-recommended Dead Schembechlers hate the University of Michigan more than any punk band ever hated anything, and that's saying something. So if you also hate the Wolverines, you won't want to miss the Hate Michigan Rally on Nov. 17 in Columbus, hea...

It's 3 1/2 In The Pokey For Clarett
Word just came in about an hour ago: Former Ohio State running back Maurice Clarett has pled guilty to two felonies and will spend at least the next 3 1/2 years in prison. Jury selection was about to begin in the case, but lawyers accepted the plea of 7 1/2 years, with the first parole opportunity p...

A Day At Paul Brown Stadium
So, we are sad to report that we did not make it to Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson's dramatic interpretation of the chicken dance at Cincinnati's Oktoberfest on Saturday afternoon; we figured by the time we actually made it downtown, we'd be too far away to see anything but the tip of Johnson's ...

Hugh Johnson Project, Update 4
Louisville just went up 24-7 on Miami, Michigan looks to be pretty firmly in control of things, and I'm just going to leave you to enjoy those things... if you're the type that likes to see big-name programs get humiliated. Enjoy the big games tonight, too....

Hugh Johnson Project, Update 3
• That Brady Quinn is so good-looking that I'll bet even Pam Ward thinks he's hot. - drocksportsguy...

Hugh Johnson Project, Update 2
• Not actually watching any college football at the moment, as I just woke up, but the Pam Ward's short WikiPedia page entry reads "Pam Ward is probably a lesbian." - DriveInHard...

Hugh Johnson Project, Update 1
• "There was a sign during Gameday this morning - "Charlie Weis: The Devil Lovechild of Jabba the Hut @ Rosie O'Donnell." - Lingering Bursitis...

Chad Johnson Is A Chicken Dance Maestro
As many have pointed out before, the vast majority of hardcore NFL fans have never attended an actual game in person. Factors include the rarity of games, the high ticket expense and the fear that someone in a dog mask will steal your wheelchair....

When Male Cheerleaders Attack
We'd like to congratulate THE Ohio State University for their convincing victory over Texas on Saturday night. We are also pleased that the Buckeyes waited until 2006 to beat the Longhorns, rather than 2005; last year's game was in Columbus, this one was in Austin and that meant all fires and riot...

Hugh Johnson Project, Update 4: Maybe We Should Watch Tennis
This is the last one for today... I'm going to let you enjoy the rest of this Penn State/Notre Dame "game" on your own. You have let a nation down, Joe Paterno....

Hugh Johnson Project, Update 3: At Least You Aren't Northwestern
"Favorite Gameday sign: 'Did you know... That Bo Jackson ate more than 36 crabcakes before his first game in the NFL?' Followed closely by, 'Corso is a giant tool.'" - InTylerWeTrust23...

Hugh Johnson Project, Update 2: Blowouts And Bad Teams
"Rutgers football is making me more money than my job." - Unsilent Majority...

Hugh Johnson Project, Update 1: Kicking Will When He's Down
WVU's Steve Slaton has 105 yards rushing with 6:35 to play in the first quarter....