oh Page 381 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Randy Johnson, KILLER ROBOT
For those of you who haven't met him yet, Korean cartoonist Choi Hoon draws the most hysterical, inexplicable cartoons on the Web. Hoon, who says baseball is "the best sport of all" because "it has the most organized and systematic rules" (which is as good an explanation as we can come up with), m...
Meet The New ESPN Guy: John Skipper
See that guy right there? That's John Skipper, a guy of whom it is very difficult to find a picture online. (A helpful reader sent us this larger one; Mark Shapiro, on the other hand, was smiling and waving everywhere we looked.) Skipper is also the new guy in charge at ESPN. As first reported by ...
Chad Johnson's Evil Genius
Fans are still buzzing about Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson's inspired touchdown celebration against the Chicago Bears a couple of weeks ago, in which he aped Michael Flatley's Riverdance routine. Funny, definitely, and certainly original. But was it a quiet, brilliant rip on Bears linebacker ...
Those Raving, Chattery, Jittery Ballplayers
Remember that famous episode of "Family Ties," when Alex P. Keaton, way behind on his studying for his midterms, has to take speed to stay awake and ends up getting addicted? (Our favorite part is when he paints the hallway at 3:30 in the morning and installs an underground sprinkler system.) We'r...
Mark Shapiro's Many Missteps
As we continue to glance backward at ESPN alpha dog Mark Shapiro's tenure, we take a look back at some of the more serious missteps during his reign....
Congressional Steroid Hearings End Four Days Early
Wrapping Up The Congressional Steroid Hearings:...
We Watch Steroid Trials So You Don't Have To
We love you so much, that we're actually willing to sit through these Congressional steroid hearings, chaired by Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.), who we still think could beat up the entire "Inside The NFL" staff in a fight. (We're not counting Bob Costas, who you totally know would just run away.) Any...
To Watch Tonight ...
What light through yonder window breaks? 'Tis Doritos, and this picante sauce is the sun ... • College FB: Tennessee at LSU. The only group of Volunteers who are not welcome in Louisiana. [ESPN2] • MNF: Chiefs at Broncos. If you have any idea what John Madden is talking about, please let us know. [A...
Jay Mohr: Comedy's Skip Bayless
We'll admit it: We don't really understand those columns that failed movie star/failed TV star/failed game show host Jay Mohr is writing for SI.com. They're not funny, but they're not really incisive about sports either; they just kind of hang out there, like a faded balloon (or a Marge Schott bre...
The NFL Wouldn't Let Us Give Money
Like all of you, we're sure, we were moved and stirred by the NFL's selfless Katrina Telethon last night. John Elway, answering phones! Frank Gifford! Danny Kanell! We were touched by the willingness of such sainted former football players to roll up their sleeves and pitch in; they were answering...
Leftovers: Take This Job And Shove It
• There is nothing more dangerous than an angry man in compression shorts: Lance Armstrong re-retires. [Instant Punditry] • Kim Clijsters' coach quits, perhaps in a huff, we're not sure. [tennisace] • Fantasy Prison Camp: Former Braves pitcher sent to the Gray Bar Hotel. [Atlanta Journal-Constitutio...
WNBA Finals Controversy Debated In Empty Chat Room
We're not really going to join the growing chorus of anti-WNBA voices (or even the exact Xerox of choruses of anti-WNBA voices, just a few days later); we're not huge fans of the WNBA, but we're not huge fans of the MLS either, and you don't see us piling on them. That said, we actually watched so...
Groupies Cause Battery Feud
Some great fun from the is-it-fictional-or-not-who-cares? groupie blind item On the DL this morning. Here's today's highlight:...
Leftovers: P.S., I Love You
• OSU tight end Ryan Hamby receives hate mail, drops it. [Around the Oval] • Rams exec leaves threatening phone message on columnist's voice mail. We love stories like that. [STL Today • Bill Simmons finally acknowledges that he works for the same company as Mario Lopez. [Sports Guy's World] • The D...
We Hope You Like Joe Morgan
Bad news for those who are driven to murderous rage by the voice of ESPN analyst Joe Morgan: ESPN and Major League Baseball have extended their broacast agreement through 2013. Sunday Night Baseball with Morgan and Jon "Hey, Don't Look At Me, I Don't Know What The Hell He's Talking About Either" M...
Marvel: No Road Rage Here
Earlier, we reported — as much as we "report" anything — that ESPN.com "executive editor" John Marvel had left/been forced out of ESPN after an incident in the ESPN parking lot. Marvel apparently has his Finger On The Pulse Of The Sports World, because he saw the item and wanted to clarify some ma...
Executive Editor Bounced From ESPN.com
Do you know this man? His name is John Marvel, and he was vice president and executive editor of ESPN.com until very, very recently. But now the Bristol folks have canned him/asked him to resign, and a reliable tipster tells us it's because of what they're calling a "road rage incident in the ESPN...
The Wrong Way To Prepare For Your First Game
Well, that's just great timing. Fresh off the first time in three years of backing up Priest Holmes that he has ever been able to show himself off — he had the best game of his career Sunday — Chiefs running back Larry Johnson has gotten himself in trouble with the law again. According to the Kans...
Bengals' Johnson Keeps Swooning Over Oprah
Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson is known for being brash, loud and Keyshawn Johnson's cousin. But we prefer knowing him for something so cute it makes us want to dance: He's in love with Oprah Winfrey. No, really. Last month, Johnson blessed us with the immortal quote: "It might soun...
Let's See ... Mortgage, or OSU Tickets? Hmm ...
Now we know that everyone is very excited about the big Ohio State-Texas college football game tomorrow, and we understand, because the fevered hockey fans of Columbus (no, really. Swear) haven't had much rooting interest for a while....