oman Page 28 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

"Macho Man" Randy Savage Killed In Car Accident
"TMZ spoke with Randy's brother, Lanny Poffo, who tells us the wrestling legend suffered a heart attack while he was behind the wheel around 10 AM ... and lost control of his vehicle." [TMZ]...

Dilbert Creator Pretends to Be His Own Biggest Fan on Message Boards
Scott Adams, creator of the great comic strip Dilbert, is a prick. He's horrible boss, and recently compared women to children begging for candy. Now we learn he likes to bash critics on message boards under a pseudonym. [Gawker]...

Let's Revisit The Time A Portuguese Goalie Brought Kung Fu Flair To A Romanian Soccer Game
When F.C. Astra Ploiesti faces CFR Cluj 1907 in some Romanian league action tomorrow, it will be a rematch of the 2009 match in which Cluj goalkeeper Nuno Claro drove his spikes into the chest of Astra's Georgian Paun. Alas, Paun now plays for Dinamo Bucureşti now so it's probably not worth tracki...

Chelsea Owner Roman Abramovich Relieved To Still Have The World's Biggest Symbolic Penis
Thought we couldn't put a sports spin on the recent revelation that Teodoro Nguema Obiang Mangue, the son of the dictator of Equatorial Guinea, had commissioned a yacht with a movie theater on board? Wrong....

Poorly Worded Islanders Ad Seems To Want You To Hit Your Ladyfriend
Matt, who sent this along, wonders if the Isles "are trying to promote spousal abuse or just good old-fashioned rough sex?" Either would be less odious than spending Valentine's Day at Nassau Coliseum, or Dave & Buster's, for that matter....

Here’s A Cool Video Of The Riquelme Who's Not Famous For Boobs
Blackburn's chicken people are still working their way through a list of players that could make for decent marquee signing — sadly the list appears to be from 2004....

Coach Would Rather Players Sleep Around Than Drink After Games
Roberto Mancini has made Eastlands the new preferred destination for football's top womanizers, after ordering his Manchester City players to put down their pint glasses and instead wrap their hands around a nice pert boob....

Controversial World Cup Referee Busted With Whole Lotta Heroin At Airport
Byron Moreno, a former FIFA referee was arrested at JFK airport with over six KG of heroin. According to Google Translate translation, Moreno was controversial, "bleeped in Korea," and hid "the drug in her underwear." Got it. [CRE Satelital]...

Your Moment Of Auto-Erotica: "Oh, How He Tempted Her."
We recently discovered—but then forget—the incredible phenomenon of NASCAR-themed romance fiction, stories filled with passion and grease and beautiful people being driven swiftly to ecstasy and Victory Lane alike. What follows is a brief selection from one such tale....

Midshipman, Indeed: Navy Player Sees Your Greg Oden-Grinding-On-A-Lady Photo And, Um, Raises You
The man getting his friction on in the above picture, a la Oden, is former Navy Midshipmen cornerback Lord Cole. At least I think it is. The only pictures I can find of him are a little blurry or inconclusive....

Sorry Scott, We Are All Malians Now
I too felt a twinge of something almost like patriotism when I read of the latest attempt to burgle America of its greatness carried out by a shockingly brazen African thug. Then I remembered the thug in the White House....

Why We Must Invade Mali
FIFA's review of Koman Coulibaly won't answer the question of how someone with two lazy eyes and a day job as financial auditor for the notoriously corrupt Malian government was allowed to be a World Cup official in the first place....

Here's Video Of The U.S. Getting Jobbed By A Ref
Bullshit call? Bullshit call. Koman Coulibaly has joined Jim Joyce in the pantheon of People That Are Probably Very Good At Their Job But Still Managed To Fuck Up On The Biggest Stage Possible. They share Wikipedia debasement as well. ...

Last Night's Winner: Your Sex Life, Thanks To Bill Romanowski (UPDATE)
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like you, if you read Romocop's pathetic sex column posted at despicable content publisher Associated Content, for which he's being paid literally pennies....

Wedded Wrestler Of The Week: "Macho Man" Randy Savage
Macho Man, whose first wife was Miss Elizabeth, has at last made an honest woman of his longtime girlfriend, Lynn. Snap into a second marriage! [The Sun]...

If Tevez Doesn’t Like It He Can Sod Off, Suggests Mancini
In political terms, the world of football closest in type to classic socialism. Everyone wears the same outfit, united in the one common goal, and no man is bigger than the club....

Tailpipe: "Like A Warrior In Battle. Hubba Hubba."
We recently discovered the incredible phenomenon of NASCAR-themed romance fiction, stories filled with passion and grease and beautiful people being driven swiftly to ecstasy and Victory Lane alike. What follows is a brief selection from one such tale....

Tailpipe: "... His Touch Sending Her Senses Into Overdrive"
We recently discovered the incredible phenomenon of NASCAR-themed romance fiction, stories filled with passion and grease and beautiful people being driven swiftly to ecstasy and Victory Lane alike. What follows is a brief selection from one such tale....

Annoying Flying Fish Slaps Woman In The Face
An influx of Asian carp to the Illinois River has given rise to extreme aerial bowfishing, a niche sport combining speedboats with archery. This is what happens when the fish fight back with some extreme aerial moves of their own....