oman Page 31 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
About Last Night
What you missed while ghost riding the pony... • NBA: Denver needed a win to stay a game up on the Warriors, but instead they had their asses handed to them by the Jazz. • Boxing: Alfonso Gomez is probably penning a thank you note to last night's ringside doctor. • MLB: Johan Santana can give up hom...
Take a Picture, It'll Last Longer... Then Shred It
Be it in practice, on film, inside another man's house, or at an NIT basketball game, Bill Belichick can't help but take notice of some untapped potential. TMZ brings us this transcendent image from Florida's victory in the NIT last night. Clearly Nick Calathes' triple double wasn't the only to imp...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as I, for one, welcome our super sheep overlords ... • College basketball: Atlantic Coast Conference quarterfinals, Charlotte, Duke vs. Georgia Tech (7 p.m., ET), Clemson vs. Boston College (9 p.m., ET) [ESPN2]; Big East Conference semifinals, New York, Georgetown vs. West Virginia (7 ...
Justice Is Blind, Which Accounts For All The Typos
Finally, Barry Bonds has discovered an airtight defense for his upcoming trial on perjury and obstruction of justice charges. Typos! Yep, Bonds' lawyers on Thursday contended that, because the government filed court papers on their client that had at least two typos, that Barry should walk free. Hey...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while planning a vacation to Bill Simmons' "Mount Rapmore"...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while the floor lamp watches you back, lovingly ... • 8:00 p.m. — NFL Playoffs: Jacksonville Jaguars at New England Patriots. Josh Scobee won't be wearing heated pants, but hasn't ruled out pink boxers. [CBS] • 8:00 p.m. — C.O.P.S. They're not new, but what the hell difference does tha...
T.O. To Romo: Girls Are Icky
I've thought about it and decided that it all had to be a nightmare. All I remember are fleeting images: Jessica Simpson. Pink jersey. Multiple sacks of Tony Romo. Terrell Owens asking for Simpson's phone number. Press conference. Yoko Ono. Jerry Jones' face melting like the Nazi in Raiders of the L...
September 11: Perspectives From Bayless, Mariotti And Paige
It's the six-year anniversary of September 11 today, and we're not gonna make a huge thing about it, because everyone should grieve / remember in their own personal way. To commemorate the occasion, though, we thought it might be fun to step in the way back machine and see how three of our great pol...
With Your Boys, Talkin' S***. But You're Going Home Alone, Aren't'cha?
If there's a theme to Saturday nights, it's saying and doing things you regret on Sunday. Therefore, here follows a round-up of the various mealy-mouthed guarantees and guarded boasting that amounts to this week's "bulletin board material." You said you're confident in your team's chances of victory...
Bill Romanowski, Method Actor
You might remember, back in April, when Rick told you about the upcoming film in which Bill Romanowski plays a gay cowboy. (How could you forget?) The move is called Weiners. And now there's a disturbing publicity still....
Chris Cooley's Gonna Have A Hot Wife
And now, boys and girls, it's time for a love story. It may resemble one you yourself have encountered, except this one involves people prettier than you. It's a story we've all heard: boy meets girl, girl is a cheerleader, boy meets another cheerleader, girls lose jobs because of boy, boy wins back...
Does This Mean No More Live Look-Ins?
The nation's long wait has finally come to an end, A-Rod hit 500! Alright, it's not exactly 756 but at least it's one less thing we'll have to hear about every single day. He got things out of the way in a hurry this afternoon with a first inning blast off of Kyle Davies. Call me crazy, but I think ...
You Stole The Wrong Car, Dude
We know this will come as a shock to you, but apparently sometimes they steal cars in the Detroit. We know; we're as stunned as you. Anyway, if you're gonna steal a car in Detroit, we'd highly recommend you make sure the people you steal it from don't play for the Detroit Demolition women's football...
Tank Johnson Is Not Drunk, But Drunk Enough
So, with word coming out that beleaguered Chicago Bear Tank Johnson actually being under the legal limit in his DUI arrest a couple of weeks ago — the one that ultimately forced his release from the Bears — the guy should be out of the woods and all set and good again, right?...
And Suddenly That Giant Hog Story Looks So Unimpressive
We like bears. As Robert Klein once said, they are the most helpful of all the animals. "If you have to be stuck in an elevator, it might as well be with a bear. 'Can you reach up there, bear?' 'Well, I think I can try ...' " But when a bear is attacking your six-year-old son, there's only one thing...
The WNBA Wants To Stir Your Soul
Different leagues have different ways of self-promotion. Major League Baseball signs deals with Scott Stapp. The NFL has beer companies make ads in which sisters flirt with each other. The NHL ... well, the NHL plays games. (Occasionally.) But no one has quite mastered the concept of athlete poetry ...
Hopefully, Tim Duncan Suffers From Cyanophobia
A fear of the color blue is what we're counting on to tighten this series up. The attire of the fans in Salt Lake City is the focus of the AP article previewing Game Three of the Spurs/Jazz series. Everyone in Energy Solutions arena will be decked out tonight in "True Blue" shirts that will, I don't...
Bill Romanowski Just Can't Quit You
With inflation being what it is, we feel that we have to be very prudent with our entertainment dollar. That's why we will only see new movies with the following fun synopsis:...
Who Would YOU Trust To Get The Right Supplements In Your Body?
In life, I guess it's best to stick with what you know, which is how a guy like OJ Simpson ends up trying to sell books about how to kill people. Along those same lines, it makes all the sense in the world that Bill Romanowski, former linebacker and admitted steroid abuser, is launching a "supplemen...