one Page 325 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Say Goodnight, Detroit
We tend to agree with True Hoop: Something inside the Pistons looks broken. After the Heat's 11-point win over the Pistons last night, they're one game away from their first conference NBA finals ever and changing the face of the Pistons forever. (As True Hoop points out, are they really going to ...
Just Another Manic Monday
Before the week runs its course and we head into our pleasant weekend of barbecues and hangovers, we just wanted to once again salute the genius of CLEVELAND'S INVESTIGATIVE REPORTER Carl Monday, who continues to blow the lid of the cottage "jerking off in a library to get away from one's terrifyi...
The Most Brilliant Thing You'll See All Day
So a local television station in Cleveland decided to put together an "investigative report" on the dangers of allowing your children to go to the public library....
A Brief History Of Quincy Carter
For those who remember, and for those who can't forget:...
If You Can Make It There ...
We know that the obvious death of boxing has been thoroughly documented and dissected, but we kind of think this pretty much pushes it into the kitsch category....
Offense Leads Defense At The Half
For those of you who really hate baseball, golf, bowling, or anything else on TV today, ESPN is bringing you Oklahoma's spring football game today, live in its entirety. Spring football. Live on ESPN. I don't know why....
Fresh Meat In Bloomington
To us, being the coach of Indiana is about as thankless a job as you might possibly imagine. No matter what you do — remember, Mike Davis once took the Hoosiers to the national title game — you're always going to pale in comparison to the fundamentals-spouting ogre in the red sweater....
Dhani Jones Has Happy Feet That Can't Be Beat
We have been called a "chronicler of athlete misdeeds," though we think we're a little more optimistic than that; we prefer "chronicle of athlete malfeasance." Or even "athlete tomfoolery." Whichever; pick your poison....
NCAA Pants Party: Oklahoma Vs. Wisconsin-Milwaukee
Oklahoma Sooners (20-8) vs. Wisconsin-Milwaukee Panthers (21-8). When: Thursday, 12:25 p.m. Where: Jacksonville, Fla....
Oklahoma Sooners
1. Longar Longar: Future Cult Hero? I love this guy, and you have to love anyone with the same name twice. Forget the fact that he should shorten it to one name like "Cher" or "Yao"; a 6'11 Sudanese import at a school filled with what Nebraska coach Bill Callahan called "[expletive] hillbillies" is ...
Man, America Gets All The Breaks
We're half an hour away from USA baseball's second game in the World Baseball Classic, facing Jason Bay and some other Canadians. (We're really enjoying the Cuba-Panama game that's on right, now, by the way.) We're fully aware that seeing Alex Rodriguez in a United States uniform makes most of you...
The End Of Shaq Is Nigh
We couldn't have been more thoroughly depressed by last night's Lakers-Heat matchup, otherwise known as Shaq-Kobe II (or IV, or whatever). Aside from the much-heralded but mostly boring "peace accord" between Shaq and Kobe, and aside from the game itself (the Lakers finally beat Shaq), we were dow...
Look Out For The Black Mamba. (Relax, We Don't Mean Literally)
We hate to be the ones who have to point this out, but after all we've made fun of him for — with our personal favorite still being Chuck Klosterman's notion that the Lakers are like "an eighth-grade intramural team which happens to have one kid with a mustache" — it's worth noting that the man no...
"Greed — For Lack Of A Better Word — Is Good."
Well, it might have taken a little longer than some might have expected, and it might have been for those always-vague, always-intriguing "personal reasons," but the moment we all knew was inevitable is finally here: Pat Riley is back coaching the Miami Heat again....
Athlete Run-Ins: David Cone's Faded Memories
Pick a dingy bar in New York City, particularly around the East Village area, and you're darned near guaranteed to find a picture of David Cone somewhere in the bar, taken at the bar, with his arms around whoever happens to be within pint distance. The stories of his partying with the rank-and-fil...
Gotta Support The Team
When we were a kid, we would always stay in the stadium hours after Illinois football games ended so we could watch the players and press meet by the tunnel to the locker rooms; something about balding paunchy men interviewing people 30 years their junior fascinated us even then. We never quite ha...
Bret Boone's Dangerous Golf Cart Exploits
We love the Las Vegas Review-Journal's gossip column, because it's excellent about disproving that whole what-happens-in-Vegas-stays-in-Vegas bunk. Their big get today is totally-not-a-guy-whose-career-collapsed-once-he-got-off-steroids former All-Star Bret Boone, who went a little crazy at the Wy...
Athlete Run-Ins: When Shaq Wants Your Girl
Continuing our string of great athlete run-ins — and by the way, just because the book contest is over doesn't mean we still don't want your stories; send yours to [email protected] — is this tale from "Dan from New York." It's too long to fit in one little post — it's too long for a newspaper to ...
The Cavs' Super Secret Club (No Girls Allowed!)
Free Darko has a find that's making us giggle like an idiot: Apparently, Cleveland Cavaliers stars LeBron James, Larry Hughes and Damon Jones (known around here as "two-and-a-half men") have come up with a "secret handshake that involves two low-fives, then a wave, then posing with their arms cros...
World Series Roundup: McCarver's Buckner Moment
We don't mean to shrink last night's Amazing Scott Podsednik Moment into a moment of media criticism, but you're all going to be talking about it this morning, so we might as well lead off with it. Right before — like, a split-second before — Podsednik homered off Astros closer Brad Lidge, Fox bro...